The InseyWinsey SpiderMan
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: It's time for Felicia's bachlorette party, cue the naked guys and Tequila shots! PAIRINGSRahneSpidey, ToddFelicia, WandaKurt, SamMJ. Plz R&R.
1. The InseyWinsey SpiderMan

Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
By  
RahneMan  
  
Disclaimer- Not mine, kay? Marvel owns both Spider-Man and the X-Men.  
  
Author's Notes- Oh look! Another Kitty and the New Recruits fic! As you have probably guessed this is a Spider-Man/X-Men Evolution fic. Kinda unoriginal, I know! This particular plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone! For the sake of this fic the New recruits are all 16 (apart from Jamie, he's 13), Kitty, Kurt and Rogue are 17 and Scott and Jean are 18. Oh! Peter Parker's 16 too!  
  
With all that crap out of the way, let's get on with the fic!  
  
Bayville high street: Night-  
  
It's a typical summer's night in Bayville. The streets are full of people milling about, going in and out of bars, nightclubs and stuff. A group of people catch our attention. They are the X-Men!  
  
'C'mon you guys!' Bobby Drake, aka Iceman, begs his companions. 'Let's go to the movies!'  
  
'No Bobby!' Kitty Pryde, aka Shadowcat, tells the younger Mutant. 'The Professor said that we had to be home by ten and it's already half past!'  
  
The group of Mutants turn around as they hear someone shouting behind them.  
  
'Stop thief!' A women yells. 'Somebody stop him! He stole my purse!'  
  
Kitty, Bobby, Rahne and Jubilee set after the thief.  
  
'This isnae how I'd thought me night out would go!' Rahne pants. 'Chasin' after purse snatchers!'  
  
'Chill out Furtop!' Jubilee tells the young Scot. 'There might be a reward!'  
  
The thief ducks into an alley. Kitty and co follow him in.  
  
'Drop the purse!' Kitty tells him.  
  
The thief just halts in the alley, turns around and pulls out a gun from his jacket.  
  
'Now let's not do anything hasty buddy!' Bobby says, trying to diffuse the situation.  
  
'I'll blow you all away!' The thief yells.  
  
'I think not Spanky!' A voice above them calls.  
  
The thief looks up and fires a couple of shots into the darkness above him.  
  
'Nyah! Nyah!' the mystery voice taunts. 'You random thugs get more stupid by the day!'  
  
'Get away!' The thief yells, as he gets ready to fire again. 'I'll kill these kids!'  
  
'Not on my watch!'  
  
Kitty and co watch in amazement as the thief has the gun ripped away from his hands by what seems to be, webbing? The thief is then knocked down by a red and blue flurry of punches and kicks.  
  
'What a break!' The red and blue clad figure says to the thief. 'Here I was minding my own business, hoping for a quiet night out, then you try to grab some woman's purse! I love the smell of beaten bad guys in the evening! It smells like, beaten up bad guys!'  
  
The thief didn't answer, seeing that he was unconscious and all!  
  
'Not talking huh? Too bad! I had a whole routine to go through!'  
  
The figure turns to Kitty and co after webbing the thief to the wall.  
  
'Hi! I'm Spider-Man! I'm looking for Professor Xavier. Do you know him?'  
  
Kitty and co just gape in amazement at the red and blue splendour of Spider- Man!  
  
'Hello?' Spidey says. 'Earth to silent people!'  
  
'Oh sorry!' Kitty mumbles. 'Professor Xavier, right!'  
  
'We happen tae live at his Institute.' Rahne tells him.  
  
'Great!' Spidey says. 'I've kinda got some problem with my powers and I thought that he could help!'  
  
'If there's anything the Prof knows about.' Jubilee says. 'It's Mutant powers!'  
  
'Follow us!' Kitty tells him. 'Our lift is picking us up soon. I'm sure that the Professor'll be glad to help!'  
  
END! For now!  
  
Next time on: The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man- Spidey meets the rest of the X- Men and gets his first Danger Room session.  
  
Till then  
  
TTFN  
  
RahneMan  
  
PS- WOOT!  
  
;) 


	2. Up the Water Spout

Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 2: Up the Water Spout  
  
By  
RahneMan  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Spidey OR the X-Men, Marvel does!  
  
Hank McCoy's Lab: Xavier Institute-  
  
Peter Parker is stripped to the waist and is attached to several diagnostic dealies. Hank takes a look at a printout.  
  
'What's the prognosis doc?' Peter asks.  
  
Hank looks up from the printout.  
  
'I'm not exactly sure. The tests say that you are absolutely fine!'  
  
'Why do I keep on getting these stabbing pains in my side?' Peter asks.  
  
'My best guess is that your body is adjusting to your mutation. How did you mutation manifest anyway?'  
  
'I was bitten by a radioactive spider!' Peter says matter-of-factly.  
  
'I see!' Hank says, stroking his chin. He walks up to peter and disconnects him from the machines. 'That's all the tests for now Mister Parker. Several of the younger students are out in the garden. I suggest that you join them.'  
  
'No problemo!' Peter quips, leaping on to the ceiling. 'I'm already there!'  
  
Outside several of the New Recruits are throwing around a Frisbee. Roberto, Sam, Bobby and Ray are throwing the Frisbee to one another while Amara, Jubilee and Rahne sit under a tree, gossiping about the new arrival.  
  
'Omigosh!' Jubilee says. 'You shoulda been there 'Mara. This guy was just about to shoot us when he leapt down from the top of this building and saved us!'  
  
'He was sooo handsome!' Rahne sighs.  
  
'I thought he had a mask on!' Amara says.  
  
'Well his costume didnae leave much to the imagination!' Rahne smirks.  
  
'Rahne Sinclair!' Amara gasps. 'You've got a crush on the new guy!'  
  
'It's nae true!' Rahne blushes.  
  
'Give it up Furtop!' Jubilee smirks. 'You've got it bad!'  
  
'Who's got what bad?' Peter asks, walking up behind them.  
  
'Oh!' Rahne and Jubilee gasp. 'Hi Peter! We were just talking about how you saved us!' Jubilee tells him.  
  
'Way to go Rahne!' Amara whispers to the young werewolf. 'He's hot!'  
  
'Hush yuir mouth Amara!' Rahne whispers back. 'He'll hear ye!'  
  
'You ladies don't mind if I join you do you?' Peter asks.  
  
'Pull up a seat!' Jubilee says.  
  
'So what do you people do for fun?' Peter asks again.  
  
'There's a DVD player and pool table in th' rec room if yuir interested!' Rahne answers him, slightly blushing.  
  
Peter is just about to ask more questions when he gets a tingling sensation at the back of his head. Sure enough, a badly aimed Frisbee throw from Sam flies toward the girls. Peter jumps up and catches it, inches away from Rahne's face.  
  
'Whoa!' The girls gasp.  
  
'Sorry 'bout that Rahne!' Sam calls over.  
  
'Yo, new kid!' Ray shouts over. 'Can we have our Frisbee back sometime soon?'  
  
'Coming back at ya!' Peter shouts at them. He pulls back his arm and throws the Frisbee as far as he can. It flies over the roof and SMASH! smashes through the windscreen of Scott's car!  
  
'Heh! Whoops!'  
  
The Rec Room: Later-  
  
Peter and the New Recruits are now in the Rec Room. Roberto and Ray are playing a particularly heated game of pool. Rahne, Jubilee and the others watch on.  
  
'You're going down DaCosta!' Ray smirks.  
  
'I don't think so Berserker!' Roberto shoots back. 'No one beats a DaCosta at pool!'  
  
Just as Ray lines up his shot, Logan walks in.  
  
'Funs over people! Time for your Danger Room session!'  
  
Once again, this is met by a collective groan.  
  
'You can join in if you want Parker!' Logan tells Peter.  
  
'I'll be glad to!' Peter answers.  
  
The Danger Room-  
  
The Peter and the New Recruits are now joined by Scott and Jean. Kitty, Kurt and Rogue had the common sense to be out. Everyone is split up into teams. Scott is with Jean, Amara and Ray and Roberto. Peter is with Rahne, Jubilee, Bobby, Sam and Jamie. Logan is in the control room, taking charge.  
  
Logan presses buttons and pulls levers. Giant buzz saws and laser cannons pop out of the walls, floor and ceiling. Sam is the first to go as he powers up and flies through a buzz saw, smashing it. Roberto powers up and tears a laser cannon from the wall. Amara blasts projectiles with lave blasts as Jubilee blows the up with fireworks. Ray shots at them with his electric blasts as Peter gums up a laser cannon with his webbing. Rahne, in her wolf form, is about to pounce at a robot as a laser cannon pops up from behind her. Peter notices this a swings over to her on a web-line. He snatches her up and gums up the laser cannon with more webbing. With all the obstacles beaten, Logan ends the simulation.  
  
'Session over!' he calls over the intercom. 'Hit the showers! Nice save there Parker!'  
  
Peter lowers himself and Rahne to the ground.  
  
'Thankyae Peter!' Rahne says, slightly out of breath. 'I almost got my bum fried!'  
  
'Think nothing of it little lady!' Peter says to her, blushing slightly.  
  
The two of them look into each other's eyes and move closer, their lips barely touching.  
  
'C'mon Furtop!' Jubilee shouts over, ruining the mood. 'The sooner we get in the showers, the sooner we can eat!'  
  
Rahne reluctantly walks away from Peter.  
  
'Seeye later Peter!' She says over her shoulder, following it with a wink.  
  
'Yeah, seeya later Rahne!' Peter calls after her, slightly amazed by the turn of events.  
  
Over the other side of the Danger Room Roberto and Sam are dusting themselves off.  
  
'Ah don't believe it!' Sam says. 'Rahne's got a crush on th' new kid!'  
  
'Lucky stiff!' Roberto mutters.  
  
Next time on: The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Peter meets the Brotherhood! And more Peter/Rahne fluff!  
  
Till then  
  
TTFN  
  
RahneMan  
  
PS- WOOT!  
  
;) 


	3. Down Came the Rahne

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 3: Down came the Rahne  
  
By  
RahneMan  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men OR Spidey, Marvel does.  
  
Notes- Bad pun for the title but meh, what'cha gonna do?  
  
The Rec Rom: Xavier Institute-  
  
Peter Parker and the New Recruits, minus Rahne, are hanging out (some literally) in the Rec Room. Jubilee and Bobby are snuggled up on the sofa watching TV. Roberto and Ray are playing poker. Amara is playing pool with Jamie and Peter is sitting on the ceiling, upside down reading! Then Rahne walks in.  
  
'Has anyone seen Peter?' She asks.  
  
Behind her Peter drops to the floor silently and taps her on the shoulder. Rahne yelps in fright.  
  
'GAH! What did ye do that f'r ye Spaleen?' She asks, holding her hand over her heart.  
  
'Sorry Rahne.' Peter says. 'I just couldn't stop myself!'  
  
Rahne playfully swats him on the arm.  
  
'Ye nearly gave me a heart attack y' monkey!'  
  
Peter holds up his hand in mock hurt.  
  
'Oh you wound me with your words Miss Sinclair!'  
  
Rahne just shakes her head.  
  
'What did you want me for anyway?' Peter asks.  
  
'I wanted tae ask ye something.' Rahne answers him.  
  
At the sound of this all the other New Recruits stop what they're doing and look over at Rahne and Peter.  
  
'Can I help ye?' Rahne asks the others. 'This is a private conversation!'  
  
At that the other New Recruits make their excuses and leave.  
  
'What did you want to ask me?' Peter asks again.  
  
'Are ye doin' anything tonight?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Nothing much. Why?'  
  
'I was wondering if ye wanted tae.'  
  
'Go out on a date?' Peter finishes.  
  
Rahne blushes deeply and nods.  
  
'I'd be glad to!' Peter smiles.  
  
'Great!' Rahne squeals excitedly. 'I'll tell the Professor!'  
  
With that Rahne skipped off to her room to get ready.  
  
Later-  
  
Pete is sitting in the Rec Room waiting for Rahne to come down for their date. His spider-sense starts to tingle. He turns around and sees Jubilee and Amara standing in the doorway.  
  
'Is Rahne almost ready?' He asks.  
  
'She'll just be a couple of seconds.' Jubilee answers him.  
  
'We just wanted to have a word with you Peter.' Amara finishes.  
  
'And what would that be?' Peter asks, his spider-sense tingling even more.  
  
Jubilee and Amara fix him with evil glares.  
  
'Lay one finger wrong and we'll rip out your spine and beat you over the head with it!'  
  
Peter- o_0u  
  
'Leave him alone you guys!' Rahne calls from the stairs.  
  
'Your carriage awaits milady!' Peter says, offering Rahne his arm.  
  
'Ye've got a car?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Uh no.' Peter answers. 'I thought that I'd swing us the way their!'  
  
Rahne bounces up and down excitedly.  
  
'I cannae wait!'  
  
'Just remember what we said Peter!' Jubilee warns him.  
  
Peter grabs Rahne up in his arms and 'THWIP!' a jet of webbing shoots out from his wrist and they're away!  
  
Over Bayville-  
  
Peter and Rahne are swinging high above Bayville on a webline.  
  
'OMIGOD!' Rahne squeals. 'I cannae believe that I'm swinging above Bayville wi' Spider-Man!'  
  
'That cool huh?' Peter asks.  
  
'And then some!'  
  
'There's the cinema!' Peter says, pointing to the Bayville Movie Cinema as he throws down another webline to the roof. 'Hang on tight! We're about to land!'  
  
Rahne squeals with excitement as they drop onto the roof. Peter then lowers them both to the ground in a nearby alley.  
  
'Ready to go milady?' Peter asks.  
  
'Ready as I'll ever be Peter!' Rahne says, holding onto Peter's arm. They walk into the theatre. As soon as they walk in, Peter's spider-sense starts to tingle. He looks around and sees a group of three guys standing outside. One is fat, with a Mohawk. One is squat with greeney-grey skin and the last one has a mullet.  
  
'Who're those guys?' Peter asks. 'And why is my spider-sense going crazy?'  
  
'That's Avalanche, Blob and Toad. They're the Brotherhood. They're bad news!'  
  
'Looks like it's time to meet the Brotherhood!' Peter says.  
  
'Nuh-uh!' Rahne says, holding him back. 'There's nae need tae cause trouble, not till the date's over!'  
  
Peter just sighs and walks hand in hand with Rahne into the foyer.  
  
After the movie-  
  
Peter and Rahne walk arm in arm out of the movie theatre. Once again Peter's spider-sense goes off.  
  
'What's th' matter Peter?' A concerned Rahne asks.  
  
'There's someone in that alley!' peter answers her.  
  
'I know!' Rahne says. 'I kin smell 'em!'  
  
The two turn around as several figures walk out of the shadows of the alley. One of them has demonic red eyes and is wearing a trench coat, another is flicking a lighter on and off and is cackling wildly, while the last guy is tall, buff and just standing there silently.  
  
'Bonjour mes amis!' Gambit says. 'Magneto's got an offer for y'!'  
  
'We dinnae want anything tae do with ye an' yuir evil leader ye Spaleens!' Rahne growls.  
  
'Uh Rahne.' Peter says. 'Who are these guys?'  
  
'They're th' Acolytes, Magneto's lackeys!'  
  
'I am not a lackey!' Colossus says.  
  
Pyro just laughs madly at his lighter flame.  
  
'Dat's a pity!' Gambit says. 'Mags was kinda wantin' the boy dere!'  
  
'You can tell Magneto that I don't want to join your little losers' club!' Peter tells them.  
  
Gambit smirks at Peter's bravado.  
  
'Mag's said dat y' wouldn't see it our way so we're gonna take you to him, no matter what!'  
  
'That's what ye think!' Rahne snarls as she turns into her wolf form and pounces at Gambit. The Cajun dodges out of the way just in time. Pyro isn't so lucky. He was so entranced by the lighter flame that Rahne collides with him, knocking to the floor. Gambit charges up a card, ready to throw it at Peter. Peter throws up a webline to Gambit, snagging his hand. Peter then pulls Gambit off his feet.  
  
Pyro meanwhile, is met by the sight of an angry werewolf. He stumbles to pick up his lighter but Rahne swats it away, making it skitter down the alley. Colossus, in his metal form, goes to grab up Rahne. The werewolf struggles to escape his grip. Peter sees Rahne dilemma and sends a stream of webbing at Colossus, hitting him in the face. Colossus drops Rahne while he struggles to remove the webbing from his eyes. Gambit shakes his head and readies another charged card. He throws it at Peter. He dodges just in time and sends another stream of webbing Gambit's way. The webbing attaches itself to the Cajun's hand. Peter pulls Remy's arm away, causing him to drop the card at Colossus's feet. The card explodes, sending Colossus flying across the alley, colliding with a dumpster. Pyro then picks up his lighter and cackles wildly as he clicks it open, releasing a jet of flame. Peter throws up a web shield, protecting himself and Rahne from the fire.  
  
Gambit meanwhile, sneaks up behind Rahne and grabs her up. Rahne switches to her transitional form and elbows him in the stomach. Gambit doubles over as the air is forced out of his lungs. Rahne then kicks him under then chin, knocking him out.  
  
'Give it up Sparky!' Peter says. 'You're the only one left! Stop now before we have to kick your butt!'  
  
Pyro just cackles wildly again.  
  
'I'm th' one that's gonna do th' butt-kicking mate! Or should I say BURNING?'  
  
Just as Pyro lets rip with another jet of flame, Peter shoots off another jet of webbing, webbing Pyro's hand. Peter pulls on the webline, pulling Pyro towards him. Peter then webs Pyro's other hand. Rahne then grabs the webline from Peter and repeatedly punches Pyro with his own hand!  
  
'Stop hitting yuirself! Stop hitting yuirself!'  
  
'Uh Rahne.' Peter says. 'I think the guy's unconscious!'  
  
Rahne lets Pyro go.  
  
'Are we going tae leave these guys here or are we going tae leave them f'r th' police?'  
  
'I think we'll leave them for the police.' Peter answers her, webbing the three Acolytes together.  
  
With the bad guys vanquished, Peter and Rahne link arm in arm again and walk out of the alley.  
  
'What a cool first date!' Peter says. 'I think that I'll like it here in Bayville!'  
  
Rahne just laughs as they walk down the street.  
  
Unseen by the two young Mutants, a figure drops down to the alley and inspects the tied up Acolytes.  
  
'Nice work Spider!' She smiles, getting up and walking out of the shadows. We then see that she has long white-blonde hair and is wearing a black leather catsuit. 'But no-one breaks up with The Black Cat!'  
  
To Be Continued!  
  
OOH! Great cliffhanger huh? One of Spidey's exes turns up in Bayville! Sparks are definitely gonna fly!  
  
TTFN  
  
RahneMan  
  
PS- WOOT!  
  
;) 


	4. Wash the Spider Out

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 4: Wash the Spider Out  
  
By  
RahneMan  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men, or Spidey. They belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Big Black Cat fan huh? Wackiness with Felicia soon! ;)  
  
Thanks to Rafy3, NYFlame and WerewolfLass  
  
Bayville Jewellers-  
  
All is quiet at the Bayville Jewellers. A security guard walks past and shines his torch around. When he sees that there isn't anything about he walks out. Then, from the ceiling, a figure drops down on a rope. Seeing that it is so dark, we can't see the person's face but we can see that it is a woman and she has long white-blonde hair. The woman takes out a diamond cutter and cuts a hole in a jewellery case. She then takes out a ridiculously expensive looking necklace and deposits it in her pack. She then climbs back up the rope to the roof.  
  
Xavier's Institute: The Next Day-  
  
The kids are sitting in the rec room watching a reporter reporting on the jewel robbery. Peter Parker walks just in time to see an artist's representation of the thief. It's a picture of a slim female with long white-blond hair and she's wearing a low-cut leather catsuit (PUNPUNPUN!) All the guys except Peter drool at the sight of the attractive thief. As soon as he sees the picture, Peter spits his soda in shock.  
  
'What's the matter Peter?' Rahne asks.  
  
'I know that person!' Peter answers her.  
  
'The cat (PUNPUNPUN!) burglar?' Bobby asks.  
  
'Uh-huh!'  
  
'Damn! She's hot!'  
  
Jubilee elbows him in the ribs.  
  
'Ow! Not as hot as you sweety!' Bobby tells her.  
  
Bayville Highstreet: Night-  
  
Peter and Rahne are walking arm in arm down the street.  
  
'How d'yer REALLY know that girl?' Rahne asks him.  
  
Peter starts to sweat.  
  
'We went to school together.' He tells her.  
  
'Did ye go out?' Rahne asks again.  
  
'Of course not!' Peter lies.  
  
'Dinnae give me that Peter Parker!' Rahne says, letting go of his arm and glaring at him accusingly. 'She was yuir girlfriend wasn't she?'  
  
Peter nods sheepishly. His head then snaps suddenly as his spider-sense goes wild!  
  
'Rahne!' He yells. 'Watch out!'  
  
'Dinnae give me that!' Rahne yells back. 'Dinnae use yuir powers tae get out o' this!'  
  
Before Peter can explain himself, he is knocked down in a blur of black and white. It's the cat (PUNPUNPUN!) burglar! She grabs Peter in a huge hug and smothers him in kisses.  
  
'PETERPETERPETER!' She squeals. 'It's SOOO good to see you! MWAH!'  
  
Rahne just stands there with her arms crossed with a pissed-off expression on her face while some blonde hussy makes out with HER man!  
  
'Hi Felicia!' Peter blushes, casting an apologetic glance at Rahne.  
  
Felicia finally gets off Peter and looks at Rahne.  
  
'Who's the redhead Spider?' She asks. 'Still pining after MJ?'  
  
'Felicia Hardy, meet Rahne Sinclair, my girlfriend!'  
  
'Nice to meet you Red!' Felicia says, taking her hand and shaking it. 'I hope you haven't been to rough with little ol' Peter!'  
  
'Yes well.' Rahne says. 'We've gottae go! People tae see, stuff tae do!'  
  
'Why don't I come with?' Felicia asks.  
  
'I wouldnae think of anything else that I'd RATHER dae!' Rahne spits, her words dripping in sarcasm. 'Maybe shave me bikini line with a chainsaw!' She thinks to herself.  
  
Felicia's watch alarm goes off. She looks at it and looks at Rahne.  
  
'Sorry about this but I've gotta go! Seeya around some time!'  
  
'Yeah sure!' Rahne says back. 'Try not to stay away TOO long!'  
  
After Felicia leaves, Rahne turns to look at Peter.  
  
'Ye dinnae really like her do ye?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Of course not!' Peter smiles. 'You know that there's only one woman for me! You!'  
  
'Yuir so sweet!' Rahne says, hugging Peter tightly. 'Waitasec! What did she mean by 'still pining over MJ?'  
  
'I'll explain as we get home.' Peter says, taking her arm and walking away.  
  
Unseen by the two of them, a figure of a tall buff blonde man walks out from an alley behind them.  
  
'Enjoy your fun while you still can Spider-Man!' The man seethes. 'We will get our revenge!' The man then backs back into the alley.  
  
'And we will then eat your brains!' The man says, his voice becoming more grating as his black pants seems to spread around him, covering his body to form a new shimmering black skin with a large spider symbol on his chest. The man now has large fangs dripping saliva. 'Or our name isn't Venom!'  
  
TBC! 


	5. Felicia's Interlude: Part 1

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 5: Felicia's Interlude  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
And  
Dark Jaded Rose  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the Brotherhood, or Felicia, Marvel does.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Risty- Liked Rahne getting snarky, huh? Watch out for more Rahne/Felicia cattiness (PUNPUNPUN!) soon!  
  
The Brotherhood boys and Wanda looked towards the stairways when they heard a growl and the slamming of the telephone. A few minutes later, Mystique was stomping down the stairs with two suitcases on either side of her. Lance cocked an eyebrow at the excessive noise she was making and Pietro nosily decided to find out what happened.  
  
"What-did-my-father-do-now?" he asked. Mystique threw him a glare, one harsh enough to bore holes in his head. He didn't notice. "Well?"  
  
"To make it easier why don't you ask what he didn't do," she replied and continued walking to the door and turned slightly around. "Someone should be arriving shortly. Whatever you do, don't trash my house while I'm gone, or I'll have your heads." And with that she made her leave.  
  
Everyone turned back to the movie and indulged themselves with their Freddy Kruger fix momentarily forgetting what had just occurred.  
  
*Three hours later*  
  
No one noticed when the door opened on its own, they were too enthralled with the movie they were watching, but through his peripheral vision, Pietro noticed a sexy white haired female who stepped in. Pietro zipped over to the door, knocking over Todd's cup of juice.  
  
At the noise the rest of the BoM turned to his direction and gasped at the sight of a silver haired woman, wearing a black leather mini and vest. They all (except for Wanda who yawned and turned back to the screen and Fred who was eating his sandwich) ran to greet her, assuming she was the one Mystique was talking about.  
  
"Hey, is this the Brotherhood house?" she asked and cocked a perfectly shaped brow. Her full pink lips held a slight smirk. Pietro immediately picked up on her air of confidence and played his cards.  
  
"Yeah-this-is-the-house-and-you-are?" He asked and blocked her way from coming in all the way. She gave him a slight smile and he grinned thinking he had her in his grasp. Instead she dropped her bags on the floor and with an incredible strength she grasped him by the collar of his shirt and tossed him to the side.  
  
"Felicia Hardy," she said and gazed down at his crumpled figure before turning back to the rest of the crew.  
  
Wanda watched the way the girl dealt with Pietro and nodded her head in approval. Felicia winked at Wanda and made her way to find an empty bedroom to drop off her stuff. Lance and Todd stared after her, before following her and leaving behind a puddle of drool.  
  
"Um, uh, what ya doin' here, yo?" Todd asked. Felicia turned to him and looked him up and down, before giving him a smile of approval.  
  
"Let's just say I've got some business to attend to," she opened the first door and grimaced at the sight before closing it again.  
  
"The first six bedrooms are taken. The one down the hall is free," Lance said. She made her way to the edge of the hall still being followed by Lance and Todd. The room was semi large with a comfortable bed and a drawer. Her nose twitched and she let out a loud sigh.  
  
"It'll do for now," she said and stepped in. She slammed the door with her heeled boots, and Lance and Toad walked away rubbing their noses.  
  
***  
  
It was midnight when Toad heard the refrigerator door close. He opened the door to his room and surely enough someone was in the kitchen, making lots of noise. He made his way down, ready to leap into action when he saw it was Felicia making herself a sandwich. She looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"A little late for you to be up don't ya think?" he said. He hopped over to a stool by the kitchen counter. She shrugged in response.  
  
"Not really, I'm usually busy at this time of night so I'm restless," she said and took a bite of her food. Toad watched as she delicately wiped some mustard off of her lower lip. "Want a bite?" she offered. He shook his head. She sat down on a chair beside him. "Tell me about yourself."  
  
"My name's Todd Tolansky otherwise known as Toad and that's about it," he said and locked eyes with a fly bussing around. Felicia watched as he stood completely still and than a super long tongue came out of nowhere and caught the fly. She giggled at the sight since the mutants she had been around weren't as mischievous as Toad was.  
  
She leaned back and gazed at him. "So you have a girl, Todd?" she asked. Toad looked at her with surprise in his eyes. For a moment he thought of Wanda.  
  
"No, not really," he said. Felicia nodded her head and leaned in to his ear.  
  
"I'm surprised," she whispered and kissed his cheek. She grabbed her cup of milk and went to her bedroom, leaving a shocked Toad behind, his eyes popping out of his head. 


	6. Felicia's Interlude: Part 2

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 6: Felicia's Interlude- Part 2  
  
By  
  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the Brotherhood of Mutants or Felicia, Marvel does.  
  
Shout outs-  
  
Risty- Do I sense a little resentment towards Rahne? Watch out for more Pietro getting beat up by girls soon!  
  
Quote of the day- 'Face it tiger, you've hit the jackpot!'  
  
The next day-  
  
Lance, Pietro, Fred and Wanda are in the kitchen. They look up from their breakfasts as Todd walks in, singing to himself.  
  
'Why are you singing?' Wanda asks sceptically.  
  
'Cuz I'm happy, yo!'  
  
'Why?' Lance asks.  
  
'Cuz Felicia's got the hots for me!' Todd answers with a smug smile.  
  
'You-have-to-be-kidding-me!' Pietro says. 'What-could-a-hottie-like-her-see- in-a-freak-like-you?'  
  
Todd just shrugs off the insult, sits down by the sink and pours himself some juice.  
  
Then Felicia walks in. Pietro zips up to her and looks her up and down. She is dressed in tight leather pants and a vest similar to the one she wore last night.  
  
'Hey-there-hot-stuff!' Pietro says smoothly. 'Wanna-come-out-with-me- tonight?'  
  
'No.' Felicia says matter-of-factly.  
  
'Oh-come-on!' Pietro pouts. 'Why-not?'  
  
'Because you are an arrogant jerk!'  
  
'You-say-that-like-it's-a-bad-thing!' Pietro follows up, grabbing Felicia's hand.  
  
'You'd better get your hand off me!' Felicia warns.  
  
'Or-what?' Pietro asks. 'What're-you-gonna-do?'  
  
'This!' Felicia says, grabbing Pietro's hand and squeezing it. Pietro yelps in pain as the sound of several fingers breaking can be heard.  
  
'I-can't-believe-it!' Pietro squeaks. 'She-broke-my-hand! The-rotten-b*tch- broke-my-hand!'  
  
Felicia just ignores him and sits down next to Todd. Pietro is about to zip over to them when Felicia holds up a frying pan in his path. The silver- haired speedster hits it with a CLANG! Felicia puts the pan back in the sink while Pietro holds his now broken nose.  
  
'I'll-be-in-my-room!' He mutters.  
  
Wanda looks over at Felicia and nods in satisfaction. Felicia smiles back.  
  
'So Todd.' Felicia asks. 'Got any plans for later?'  
  
'Nuthin' much.' Todd answers. 'I'm just gonna sit around the house, maybe eat a few flies, that's about it.'  
  
'It's just that I wanted to talk to you about something.'  
  
'And what would that be, yo?'  
  
'I can't talk about it here.' Felicia whispers. 'It's kinda personal.'  
  
Over at the table, Lance notices that Felicia has her hand on Todd's. He whispers this to Fred.  
  
'Whoa!' Fred says. 'The new girl's got the hots for Todd!'  
  
'That's what he just said you idiot!' Wanda mutters.  
  
'What's the matter Wanda?' Lance asks evilly. 'Jealous?'  
  
Wanda just glares and Lance's glass of juice explodes in his face. Wanda storms off out of the room.  
  
Later-  
  
Todd is walking along the upstairs hallway. He stops outside Felicia's bedroom. He knocks on the door. By the sound of the running water, Felicia is in the shower.  
  
'Who is it?' Felicia calls.  
  
'Uh, it's me, Todd!'  
  
'Come on in!' Felicia calls. 'I'll be out in a sec!'  
  
Todd pushes the door open and walks in. he looks around at the room. It's pretty sparse. Just a couple of books on a shelf, a framed picture or two on the dresser and a stuffed animal, a cat in this case, on the bed. Todd turns around as he hears Felicia walk in from the bathroom. His eyes almost pop out of the sockets as he sees Felicia. She is completely naked except for a towel around her that hardly covers anything at all!  
  
'What can I help you with Todd?' Felicia asks.  
  
All Todd can do is stare at the towel-clad Felicia.  
  
'Hello?' Felicia asks, waving her hand in front of Todd's face. 'Earth to Todd. Come in please!'  
  
Todd snaps out of his stupor.  
  
'Huh? Wha?'  
  
'You wanted something?' Felicia asks.  
  
'Oh yeah!' Todd says, remembering. 'You wanted to see me about sumthin!'  
  
'Right!' Felicia says. 'I'll just get it!'  
  
Felicia bends down under the bed, giving Todd a pretty good view of her backside in the process! Such a good look that Todd accidentally falls off the bed!  
  
'Heh!' he says, picking himself up. 'Scuse me! Fell off the bed!'  
  
Felicia gets up as she picks up a leather bag.  
  
'Here it is!' She says, holding it up for Todd. 'Take a look!'  
  
Todd reaches in the bag and takes out a large diamond (the same one from chapter 4!)  
  
'Holy crap!' Todd gasps. 'Where'd you get this, yo? It's huge!'  
  
'I stole it!' Felicia proudly says.  
  
'No way!'  
  
'Uh-huh!'  
  
'Waitasec!' Todd says, pointing a finger at Felicia. 'You're that burglar from the news! The one that broke into Bayville Jewellers, aren't ya?'  
  
Felicia nods the affirmative.  
  
'And that's why you're staying here. To hide from the cops?'  
  
'Yup!'  
  
'How did you find us?' Todd asks.  
  
'Mystique used know my dad.' Felicia answers him. 'They used to work together, stealing precious gems and stuff.'  
  
Todd nods his head in understanding.  
  
'So.' He nervously asks. 'You doin' anything tonight?'  
  
'One thing.' Felicia says, with a glint in her eye. Todd looks at her in disappointment. 'Kissing you!' Felicia smiles, leaning closer. She presses her lips against Todd's and holds him close. Todd is about to protest but then he thinks better and returns the kiss, also holding Felicia closer. Unseen by the two lovers, the towel falls from around Felicia and no sooner has that happened then... Wanda walks in!  
  
'Felicia.' She asks. 'Do you want to... OH MY GOD! YOU'RE NAKED! AND YOU'RE KISSING TODD!'  
  
Downstairs Lance and Fred wince as the lights flicker ominously.  
  
TBC 


	7. We Wanna Eat Your Brains!

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 7: We Wanna Eat Your Brains!  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Spider-Man, the X-Men, the Brotherhood of Mutants, Felicia Hardy, OR Venom, they all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout outs-  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- I would think that other guys WOULD be pissed if they missed out on seeing a hot chick naked, wouldn't you? Well, obviously not, cuz YOU ARE a hot chick! Not that I wanna see you naked! Not that you're ugly or anything! Oh God! Shut up R-Man, while you still can!  
  
Caliente- Don't like the Felicia/Todd pairing? I'm afraid that there's gonna be much more of that soon! Thanks for reviewing though! As to 'when are we going to see Rahne and Peter again?' Right up next!  
  
Risty- I can see where you're coming from! Jean REALLY annoys me, the Evo version AND the comic version (thank God she's dead in the comics huh?) I'm fairly indifferent about Storm but I always kinda liked Amara. Well, then again, I was the one that wrote about Pietro getting repeatedly zapped by a disgruntled Fanfic writer brandishing a Tazer!  
  
Quote of the day- 'Gimmie some sugar baby!'  
  
Random Highstreet: Bayville-  
  
We currently find Peter Parker walking along the street with his girlfriend Rahne Sinclair, aka Wolfsbane, and Jubilee too! Peter has his arm around Rahne's shoulders as they walk along.  
  
'You enjoy your night out ladies?' Peter asks.  
  
'I certainly did Peter.' Rahne answers him. 'What about you Jubes?'  
  
'Wasn't so bad.' The young Asian Mutant sniffs.  
  
'What's th' matter Jubes?' Rahne asks. 'Missin' Bobby?'  
  
Jubilee turns around and looks at Rahne.  
  
'What makes you say that?' She asks.  
  
'Well this is the furthest distance you've ever left his side!' Peter smirks.  
  
'Can we just go home now?'  
  
'You guys go on ahead.' Peter tells the two girls. 'I've got some stuff to do.'  
  
'This wouldnae have anythin' tae do wi' a certain blonde girl would it?' A sceptical Rahne asks.  
  
Peter holds up his hands in defence.  
  
'How many times? We're not together anymore!'  
  
'Sure you're not!' Jubilee smirks.  
  
'Less talking!' Peter shoos. 'More going home!'  
  
As they turn to go Rahne looks at Peter and fixes him with a glare.  
  
'If I find out that ye've been seeing that hussy...'  
  
'Just go already!'  
  
Jubilee manages to drag the red headed Scot away before there can be a fight. Peter waves goodbye and walks off towards an alley. As he reaches said alley, he stops as he hears movement.  
  
'Is any body there?' he calls.  
  
Nothing.  
  
'I dunno whether I should go in.' Peter thinks to himself. 'There could be someone injured! Well, if there's danger my Spider Sense will warn me!' He then approaches with caution. As he walks further in the alley, he notices some weird shadows. He starts as the shadows start to talk.  
  
'We're glad to meet you again Spider-Man!'  
  
'Who are you and how do you know that I'm Spider-Man?'  
  
Peter turns around as he hears movement behind him.  
  
'Aren't you happy to meet your old friend?'  
  
'If by 'friend' you mean 'freaky talking shadows' then, no, I'm not happy to see you, or not!'  
  
Peter then watches aghast as the figure walks out from the shadows.  
  
'We're ashamed that you can't remember Spider-Man! Surely you remember us now?' The figure then shoots out what seems to look like webbing. The webbing attaches itself to Peter's shirt. The figure pulls him closer. Peter finally sees who it is.  
  
'Venom!' He gasps. 'But you died in that explosion in that oil refinery!'  
  
'Appearances can be deceiving!' Venom growls. 'We got better! And now, things can only get worse, for you that is!'  
  
The next morning-  
  
Rahne walks down the stairs to breakfast. She notices that Peter is missing.  
  
'What time did Peter get in last night?' She asks.  
  
'I thought he stayed out all night with you.' Amara answers her.  
  
'Peter said that he had stuff tae do, then Jubilee an' me left and came home.'  
  
'Do you think he's in trouble?' Amara asks again.  
  
'I hope not!' Rahne says, pulling on her coat. 'I'm going tae look f'r him.'  
  
'I'll come with you.' Amara says. 'If he's in trouble, you'll need help.'  
  
Outside-  
  
As they exit Xavier's Rahne gets an idea.  
  
'I bet he's gone tae see that blond hussy again!'  
  
'That blonde girl?' Amara asks. 'What was her name? Felicia?'  
  
'If she's laid one finger on him, I'll rip her guts out!'  
  
Amara puts her hand on Rahne's shoulder, stopping her.  
  
'Whoa there Furtop! Let's not get carried away! She might not know where he is!'  
  
Rahne just brushes Amara's hand away and switches to her wolf form and runs off. Amara follows.  
  
The Brotherhood boarding house: Later-  
  
Pietro is just about to open the door when he is knocked on his butt by an irate werewolf.  
  
'Waitasec! You-can't-come-in-here! This-place-is-Brotherhood-only!'  
  
Rahne shifts to her human form and glares up at the taller Mutant.  
  
'Where's Felicia?' She hisses.  
  
'Why-should-I-tell-you?' Pietro smirks, crossing his arms.  
  
Rahne just snarls and pushes him down, 'accidentally' stamping on his foot. She sees Felicia in the kitchen with Todd.  
  
'All right you tart! Where's my boyfriend?'  
  
'I don't know what you're talking about!' Felicia answers.  
  
'Dinnae give me that!' Rahne hisses. 'Where is he?'  
  
'I haven't seen Peter since that time in the street.' Felicia answers gain. 'Honestly!'  
  
Rahne calms down a bit.  
  
'All right.' She sighs. 'Ye dinnae smell like ye're lying.'  
  
Todd gets up from his seat by the sink.  
  
'Who's Peter, Snookums?' he asks Felicia.  
  
'My ex-boyfriend.'  
  
'Oh!'  
  
'If ye dinnae know where he is.' Rahne says. 'Where is he?'  
  
'There's only one way to find out.' Felicia answers her. 'We'll have go look for him.  
  
'How can we do that, Cuddle Bumps?' Todd asks. 'We ain't got no transport!'  
  
Felicia takes some keys from her pocket.  
  
'Those ain't the keys to Lance's jeep are they?'  
  
Felicia nods with a wry smile.  
  
'Great work, yo!'  
  
Rahne and Amara follow Felicia and Todd outside to Lance's jeep. They get in and drive off.  
  
Abandoned warehouse-  
  
We currently find Peter Parker dangling upside down from the roof, tied with webbing. Venom is standing in front of him.  
  
WHAM! Venom punches him, sending the makeshift Peter punch bag swinging.  
  
'Had enough yet Spider-Man?' Venom hisses.  
  
'Bring it tall dark and butt-ugly!' Peter sneers.  
  
Venom just grins evilly and punches Peter again, sending the webbing punch bag swinging once more.  
  
There is a sudden burst of light as the door is kicked open.  
  
'Get yuir filthy hands off him you darn dirty, whatever-you-are!'  
  
It's Rahne, Amara, Felicia and Todd! They've come to the rescue!  
  
Venom spins around.  
  
'This doesn't concern you!' He hisses. 'This is between us, and the spider!'  
  
'A little help?' Peter asks.  
  
'Shut up!' Venom yells, punching Peter once more. 'Or we will pick our teeth with your bones and wipe our ass with your skin!'  
  
'Struck a nerve I see!' Peter smirks.  
  
Venom turns away fro Peter, roars and leaps towards Rahne and co. Rahne turns to her wolf form and leaps away. Todd spits green goop at Venom, temporarily blinding him. Venom tears the goop away from his eyes and swats at Todd; fortunately, he is fast enough to evade the blow. Felicia attempts to hit Venom across the head with a crowbar. Venom shakes it off as if it were a gnat bite. He grabs Felicia by the throat and throws her away like she weighs nothing at all!  
  
'Felicia no!' Todd yells. 'You'll pay for that you B-STARD!'  
  
Todd leaps at Venom but he is swatted away like another gnat! That just leaves Rahne and Amara. Venom approaches wolf Rahne cautiously.  
  
'Nice doggy!' he hisses.  
  
Wolf Rahne just growls and leaps at him, biting him on the arm and hanging on for her life. Venom yells in pain and tries to shake her to no success.  
  
'Quick Amara!' Peter yells from his webbing cocoon. 'Power up! He's vulnerable to fire!'  
  
Amara does as she is told and powers up. Venom recoils at the sight of the fiery young girl.  
  
'No!' He hisses. 'Get away!'  
  
Amara just ignores him and throw a fireball his way. The fireball impacts on his chest. Venom lets out a scream of pain. Rahne lets go and turns to her human form. She picks up a nearby fuel bottle and douses him in it.  
  
'That'll teach ye f'r kidnappin' my boyfriend!'  
  
Venom just screams as he is engulfed in flames.  
  
Rahne cuts Peter free from the webbing, just in time, as a ceiling support gives away and falls to the ground.  
  
'This place is fallin' apart!' Rahne yells. 'Let's get out of here!'  
  
Rahne runs out of the burning building, closely followed by Amara and Peter, who are helping a newly conscious Todd and Felicia. They only stop when they reach the other side of the road. They stop and watch as the warehouse collapses.  
  
'Do you think Venom's still alive?' Felicia asks.  
  
'Nobody coulda survived that, yo!' Todd answers her, putting his arm around her shoulders. 'Right?'  
  
'Of course!' Peter says. 'He's gone! Don't worry! Bayville is safe once more!'  
  
Felicia and Todd get up from the ground and start to walk along the street with Rahne and co.  
  
'So what're you guys doing on Saturday?' She asks.  
  
'Why?' Rahne asks. 'What were ye thinking?'  
  
'Double date?' Felicia smirks.  
  
Rahne just sighs and shakes her head.  
  
'Just a suggestion!' Felicia smirks again.  
  
Unseen by the five teens, a black-clad hand bursts from the rubble.  
  
'We will return Spider-Man! We will return! HAHAHAHAHAA!'  
  
END! 


	8. The Witch, the Cat and the Toad

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 8: The Witch, The Cat and The Toad  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing. It all belongs to Marvel. Damn them!  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Bleedingmoon89- Glad you like the Todd/Felicia fluff, there's more up next. You thought Rahne was a little obsessive? Meh! I suppose! I didn't mean for her to come out so obsessed.  
  
Risty- See! I do take notice of my reviewers! You wanted the female characters to rescue one of the guys so you got it! Well, I couldn't kill Venom of straight away could I? I already have plans for his 'kind of' return soon! What do I mean by 'kind of?' *Laughs ominously* You'll just have to wait and see!  
  
Anon- Glad you and Fishy liked it! More Felicia up next!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- 0_ou You're willing to parade around nekkid for me? Hoo- boy! I suppose that I should be glad! Watch out for more Todd/Felicia fluff up next! Love you to sweety! *Kiss *  
  
Caliente- Where did Peter go before Venom attacked him? I'm sorry; I didn't really think that one through. I just wanted to get Peter near a dark alley so Venom could ambush him. Why didn't he die? Simple! All the decent villains NEVER die! Just look at Magneto for instance, how many times has he 'died?'  
  
Quote of the day- 'This is Davina. You're live on Cannel Four. Don't say f*ck or bugger!'  
  
For  
  
Dark Jaded Rose  
*Slap on butt*  
Love ya sweety!  
  
It's morning in the Brotherhood Boarding House. Wanda is the first one to get up. She walks down the stairs into the living room. On the sofa she sees Felicia and Todd snuggled together under a blanket asleep. She snorts in disgust and walks into the kitchen to get some breakfast. She doesn't have time to savour the quiet as Lance, Fred and Pietro soon join her in the kitchen. Lance is wrestling with a juice carton trying to open it.  
  
'Must open carton! Too strong! ACK!'  
  
Fred is burning the waffles while Pietro searches for something at least half edible through the cupboards at super speed.  
  
'Why-do-we-never-have-anything-half-decent-to-eat-iun-this-place?'  
  
'Don't be so picky man!' Fred says. 'Why don't you take a page from my book. Just eat it anyway!'  
  
'You've-got-a-book? You-can-read?'  
  
Wanda growls angrily into her coffee. The lightbulb flickers dangerously. Lance, Fred and Pietro stop instantly.  
  
'That's better!' She mutters.  
  
Over in the living room, Felicia wakes up with a wide yawn. She stretches her arms, her joints popping slightly.  
  
'There's nothing more that I like than a nice long catnap!' She yawns.  
  
Beside her Todd slowly wakes up.  
  
'Morning Toddy!' Felicia smiles.  
  
'Mornin' Schnookums!' Todd yawns.  
  
'Have a nice night?'  
  
'My nights are always good with you!'  
  
Felicia takes Todd's chin in her hand and kisses him gently.  
  
'I'm getting breakfast. You want some?'  
  
'Not just yet, yo. I just gonna snooze for a bit!'  
  
Felicia gets up from the sofa and walks into the kitchen. The guys stare open mouthed at her sleeping attire. She's wearing a tiny T-Shirt that is at least two sizes two small for her along with bright pink panties. The sight is so much that Pietro starts to choke on his cereal. Fortunately, Fred is there to slap him on the back. Just a tad too hard as it happens. So hard in fact that Pietro ends up face first in his bowl. He looks up with a face full of milky cornflakes and glares at Fred.  
  
'Great-going-dumbass!'  
  
Felicia opens up the cupboard and takes out a pack of waffles. She puts one in the waffle iron and waits for it to cook. While she waits she stretches again. This time it's a long cat-like stretch. So long in fact that her tiny T-Shirt rides up, almost revealing her chest! This time it's Lance's turn to choke! He spits out his juice in shock. Right into Wanda's face!  
  
'Uh-oh!'  
  
Outside the boarding house, a bird is knocked out of it's nest by the ensuing explosion!  
  
Later that day-  
  
Todd and Felicia are hanging out in her room. Todd is sitting on Felicia's bed while she brushes her hair.  
  
'You got anything planned for today Cuddle Bumps?' He asks.  
  
'Not really.' Felicia answers him. 'Why? Did you want to do something?'  
  
'I was wonderin' if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight?' Todd asks sheepishly.  
  
Felicia turns from her dresser and walks over to Todd. She sits down on the bed next to him and places her hands on his shoulders.  
  
'There's no need to be shy Toddy!' She smiles. 'You've already got me! There's now way that I'm gonna turn you down!'  
  
Todd smiles at this reassurance.  
  
'I love you 'Licia!' he smiles.  
  
'I love you to Toddy!' Felicia responds.  
  
Todd then takes her by the shoulders, pulls her closer and lowers themselves down onto the bed. The kiss passionately. Felicia breaks the kiss.  
  
'Todd don't!' She blushes. 'I've just brushed my hair!'  
  
Todd just smirks suggestively.  
  
'That don't mean nothin' to me, yo! You'd look beautiful with messed up hair!'  
  
Felicia just shrugs and kisses Todd again, this time brushing her hands through her his hair. Todd follows suit. Felicia rolls Todd onto his back and straddles him.  
  
'What're you doin Schnookums?' A suddenly nervous Todd asks.  
  
'Do I really need to explain?' Felicia answers with a suggestive smile.  
  
It suddenly dawns on Todd.  
  
'Ohh! Riiight!'  
  
Outside-  
  
Lance is walking down the upstairs corridor. He stops and knocks on Felicia's bedroom door.  
  
'Felicia? It's me Lance. Have you seen Todd?'  
  
There's no answer so he opens the door. His eyes boggle at the sight that greets him. It's Todd and Felicia uhh... doing what comes naturally to two people in love! He covers his eyes in shock.  
  
'My eyes! My beautiful eyes!' he screams. 'Oh the humanity!' Lance turns around, still with his eyes covered, and runs out of the room, right into the opposite wall.  
  
'Ow!'  
  
He slides down to the floor, unconscious.  
  
'Another time?' A deeply red Felicia asks.  
  
'Yup!' An also red Todd answers. 'I think it'll be best!'  
  
Later still-  
  
Lance is now fully conscious, but in shock. He is sitting on the sofa, rocking back and forth with a dazed expression on his face.  
  
'What's-up-with-Lance?' Pietro asks.  
  
'I think Todd and Felicia broke him!' Fred smirks.  
  
Pietro whistles I amazement. He zips over to Lance and waves his hand in front of his face.  
  
'How-long's-he-been-like-this?'  
  
'The last three hours!'  
  
'Whoa!'  
  
They both turn around as they ear Todd bounce down the stairs. He's singing!  
  
'Why-are-you-singing-insect?' Pietro asks.  
  
'Cuz I've got a dinner date with Felicia, yo!' Todd smirks. 'An' another thing, do you know that you sound just like Wanda when you call me 'insect?'  
  
Pietro puts his hands on his hips and scowls, just like Wanda.  
  
'I'm-nothing-like-my-sister!'  
  
Fred and Todd smirk at Pietro's posture. Pietro looks down at his hands on his hips and shifts to cross his arms. Fred and Todd burst out laughing.  
  
Todd turns just as Felicia walks down the stairs. His heart almost stops as he sees what she is wearing. She's wearing a slinky black cocktail dress with black high heels and ridiculously expensive looking matching necklace and earrings.  
  
'You look spectacular 'Licia!' Todd beams.  
  
Felicia smiles at the compliment and looks Todd up and down appreciatively in his back tux.  
  
'You don't look so bad yourself Todd!'  
  
Todd holds out his arm for Felicia.  
  
'You ready to go milady? He asks  
  
'I certainly am good sir!' She answers.  
  
Before they can leave however. Pietro bars their way.  
  
'Just-tell-me-one-thing.' He hisses. 'What-in-the-name-of-all-that-is-me- did-you-do-to-Lance?'  
  
Felicia and Todd's eyes dart about nervously as they search for an answer.  
  
'H saw them having sex you idiot!' A voice hisses from behind them.  
  
Pietro turns around in fright. It's Wanda! Her sudden appearance spooks him so much that he bangs against the wall, squashing his already broken hand (remember chapter 6, when Felicia broke his hand?) he yelps in pain and cradles it in his good hand.  
  
Felicia smirks at the sight of Pietro in pain.  
  
'Great work there Wanda.' She smirks. 'You didn't even need to hex him that time!'  
  
'Shut up!' Wanda glares as she walks off.  
  
Momentarily taken back, Felicia is about to stop Wanda but then thinks better of it.  
  
'We're takin' your jeep, 'kay Lance?' Todd asks.  
  
Lance, still in his Todd and Felicia induced stupor says nothing.  
  
'Suit yourself then, yo!' Todd smirks as he snags the keys.  
  
'Don't wait up!' He yells as he and Felicia walk out the door.  
  
After they have gone, Fred wipes a tear from his eye.  
  
'I can't believe it!' he sniffs. 'Our little Todd's all grown up!'  
  
'Oh-shut-up-you-idiot!' Pietro hisses, still holding his injured hand.  
  
Next time- A jealous Wanda follows Todd and Felicia to their date. Wanda pressgangs someone to help her spy on Todd. Who is it? You'll have to find out next time won't you! 


	9. The Witch, the Cat, the Toad and the Dem...

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 9: The Witch, The Cat, The Toad and the Demon  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men, Marvel does. Damn them!  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Risty- Didn't like the Todd/Felicia fluff? Pity. More B-Hood fun up next!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Liked the fluff huh? I don't think you're kinky, not much anyway!  
  
Caliente- At least you liked the Todd/Felicia fluff! Who's gonna help out Wanda with the spying? Rahne? Nope! Rogue? Good guess but no! You'll have to wait and find out won't you?  
  
Bleedingdemon89- Oh great an Orlando Bloom fangirl! 0_ou Not that there's anything wrong with liking him. I thought he was good in 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' Rock on yourself my Fanfic uh... sister! Heh!  
  
Quote of the day- 'You aren't as stupid as you look. The again, you look like a retard!'  
  
For  
  
Dark Jaded Rose  
Get well soon luv!  
^_~  
  
Wanda is walking down the street. Unsurprisingly she isn't in the best of moods. The other passers-by on the sidewalk give her a wide berth. Those that don't know that she's Mutant, know her reputation for having a permanently moody disposition.  
  
'I can't believe Toad chose that peroxide slut over me!' She mopes to herself. 'I'm the most powerful Mutant in that crap hole of a house and he chooses her!'  
  
Several street lamps flicker as she walks past. People step out of her way, not wanting to get involved.  
  
'This is insane!' Wanda continues. 'I can't have feelings for that insect! He smells, he eats flies and... he has the most amazing smile! ACK! Get a grip of yourself woman!'  
  
She then slumps down on a nearby bench, slumping her head onto her hands.  
  
'If only there was some way that I could spy on them. I'll need an accomplice though. But who? Rogue? No. Pietro? Pff! No way! Fred? No again! Too conspicuous!'  
  
She then looks across the street and notices a familiar looking guy with floppy hair.  
  
'I've got it! It's such a perfect choice! He hates Toad!'  
  
Across the street, the fuzzy blue teleporter known as Nightcrawler (or Kurt Wagner to his friends) is walking along the street (covered up by his image inducer of course), perfectly unaware of what approaches. He yelps as a hand pulls him into a nearby alley. It's Wanda!  
  
'Eep! Ze Scarlet Witch!' Kurt squeaks.  
  
'Glad you remembered!' Wanda answers. 'Don't try teleporting away. I'm using my hex powers to screw up your powers!'  
  
'Okay.' Kurt sighs. 'Vhat do you vant with me?'  
  
'I want you to go on a date with me.' Wanda says matter-of-factly.  
  
Kurt looks at her with an incredulous expression.  
  
'You can't be serious! You vant to go on a date vith me? Pull ze other vun!' He then bursts out laughing. 'HAHAHA!! I never knew you had such a sense of humour! You should have your own show!' He then stops as he sees that Wanda isn't joking at all. 'Mein Gott! You're serious!'  
  
***  
  
Todd and Felicia walk into a swanky looking restaurant. Todd turns to Felicia with a nervous look on his face.  
  
'I don't know about this, yo. This place is kinda exclusive don'cha think?  
  
Felicia just smiles and pats Todd's cheek.  
  
'Toddy, Toddy, Toddy. Panic not my hoppy little stud muffin! You'll be fine!'  
  
Todd just shrugs and follows Felicia over to the Maitre D'.  
  
'Ah Mizz Hardy.' The snooty French guy says. 'It eez a pleazure to zee you again. Please follow zis way!'  
  
Todd raises a brow.  
  
'You come here often?'  
  
'I'm a rich-bitch!' Felicia smirks. 'It's my curse I suppose.'  
  
After they have sat down, the Maitre D' offers them the wine list.  
  
'Vould you like to see ze wine leest?'  
  
'No thanks Jacque.' Felicia answers. 'We'll just have my usual.'  
  
'Ze Chateau Derriere. Magnificent choice!'  
  
He walks off, leaving them alone.  
  
'You decided what you want yet Toddy?' Felicia asks.  
  
'I dunno yet 'Licia.' He answers. 'This is all in French!'  
  
'Just have what I'm having. You'll like it. It's fish.'  
  
'Jeez!' Todd smirks. 'You're taking this 'Black Cat' thing a little too far ain'cha?'  
  
'What were you expecting?' Felicia smirks back. 'A bowl of milk and lots of cat puns? Were not in the old Batman TV series y'know!'  
  
The Maitre D' walks back up with their wine.  
  
'Are you ready to order yet Mizz?'  
  
Felicia orders her meal and for Todd too. The Maitre D' walks off again, once again leaving them alone. Felicia pours them some wine. Todd takes a sip.  
  
'Mmm! This is good! I can smell raspberries, almonds and grass cuttings.'  
  
'Uh, Todd.' Felicia says. 'It's wine. It doesn't have all that crap in. it's made from grapes!'  
  
'I knew that, yo!'  
  
Unseen by the two of them, Wanda and a reluctant Kurt walk in. The maitre D' stops them, telling them that they can't come in, as they are full. Wanda glares, making the lights flicker menacingly. The Maitre D' thinks better and shows them to a table.  
  
'I'm gonna die!' Kurt winces to himself.  
  
Wanda sits down and looks over at Todd and Felicia.  
  
'Is zat ze girl zat Todd's going out vith?'  
  
'Yes.' Wanda hisses, not even turning around.  
  
'She's nice.'  
  
Wanda spins around and glares at Kurt.  
  
'In a totally slutty vay!' Kurt corrects himself.  
  
A waiter comes up for their order.  
  
'I'll just have soup.' Wanda tells him.  
  
'And what about sir?'  
  
'He'll be having soup too!' Wanda says, before Kurt can open his mouth.  
  
The waiter then leaves them to it. Kurt decides to break the awkward silence first.  
  
'Zis place is nice.'  
  
'I suppose.' Wanda says, still looking over at Todd and Felicia.  
  
'So vhy did you vant me here?'  
  
'I need to spy on Todd and his slut.'  
  
'And you didn't vant to seem like a stalker? Vhy did you choose me?'  
  
'Because you hate Todd too, right?'  
  
'Hate is such a strong word.'  
  
Over at Todd and Felicia's table, Felicia looks over at the other two.  
  
'Hey, isn't that Wanda?' She asks.  
  
Todd follows her gaze.  
  
Wanda notices this and turns to Kurt.  
  
'Quick!' she says. 'Kiss me!'  
  
Before Kurt can say anything, however, she grabs him by the collar and plants a smacker on his lips.  
  
'Nah!' Todd says. 'That can't be Wanda! She'd never do that!'  
  
Later-  
  
Todd and Felicia gather up their things and prepare to leave.  
  
'That was a wonderful night 'Licia.' Todd says, kissing her. 'You take me to the best places.'  
  
'You'll have to take me out to your best eating spot next!' She tells him.  
  
'The stinky pond it is then!'  
  
'You're kidding right?' Felicia asks. 'Right?'  
  
Over by Wanda and Kurt's table, they get up and leave too.  
  
'Uh about zat kiss.' Kurt mumbles.  
  
'Don't read anything into it.' Wanda tells him. 'It was an emergency precaution.'  
  
'Oh!'  
  
'Come on! They're leaving!'  
  
Wanda grabs Kurt by the hand and drags him outside. They follow a couple of steps behind Todd and Felicia.  
  
'Todd.' Felicia says. 'I think we've got ourselves a couple of stalkers!'  
  
Todd looks behind them and sees Wanda and Kurt.  
  
'Hey, you're right, yo! It is Wanda! Hey Wanda! Come an' join us!'  
  
Wanda cringes in embarrassment and in a last ditch effort to do something, she grabs Kurt and kisses him again.  
  
'Whoa!' Todd gasps. 'I didn't know that Wanda could kiss like that! And to an X-Man too!'  
  
'Let's; leave the two love birds alone shall we?' Felicia smirks.  
  
Wanda finally lets Kurt up for air and lets him go. Kurt swoons a little with a goofy smile on his face. 'Vas zat an emergency precaution too?'  
  
'Shut up!'  
  
Later-  
  
Wanda and Kurt are standing outside the Brotherhood place. There is another awkward silence between the two as neither of them can decide how to end the 'date.'  
  
'So.' Wanda says. 'This is my stop.'  
  
'Uh-huh.'  
  
'I would invite you in but, y'know, I don't like you, and stuff.'  
  
'I understand.' Kurt sighs. He then steps forward and kisses Wanda gently on the cheek and walks off. 'Be seeing ya!'  
  
Instead of hexing the socks off him, like she normally would, Wanda puts her hand on her cheek in amazement.  
  
'Nobody's ever kissed me before!' She gasps. 'Face it Wanda.' A voice says inside her head. 'You dig the fuzzy man!'  
  
'No I don't!'  
  
'You do too!'  
  
'Well, maybe a little!'  
  
Wanda then runs down the path and yells after him.  
  
'Kurt! Wait!'  
  
Kurt turns around and looks in amazement and Wanda runs up to him and takes his hand.  
  
'Vhat is it now?' He sighs.  
  
'Thankyou.' Wanda says before kissing him.  
  
Kurt's eyes pop open in amazement at another kiss, this time real!  
  
'Vhat vas zat for?'  
  
'Didn't you like it?'  
  
'It vasn't that it... just surprised me is all!'  
  
'You mean good surprised right?'  
  
'Ja!'  
  
'Good! I'll see you tomorrow then? At eight?'  
  
'It's a date!'  
  
Wanda hugs Kurt and walks into the Brotherhood house. Standing inside is an incredulous looking Pietro.  
  
'And-where-have-you-been?' he asks.  
  
'That's none of you business.' Wanda sighs, back to her usual pissed-off self.  
  
Pietro looks out the window and sees Kurt walking away from the house.  
  
'You've-been-out-with-that-X-Geek-Kurt-haven't-you? Don't-you-realise-that- he's-the-enemy?'  
  
Wanda just sighs and walks into the kitchen.  
  
'Don't-walk-away-when-I'm-talking-to-you-Wanda! While-you're-under-my-house- you'll-live-by-my-rules-comprendez?'  
  
As if in answer, a nearby book lights up with a blue glow and flies across the room, hitting Pietro upside the head.  
  
'Nobody-loves-me!' Pietro sniffs.  
  
END! 


	10. Paint the Town Red: Part 1

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 10: Paint the Town Red: Part 1  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything; it's all Marvel's. Damn them!  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon- Glad you and Fishy liked it! Let me guess, the three Dudes are younger brothers right? Venom will be making a 'kind of' appearance this chappie. What do I mean by 'kind of?' Read on and find out!  
  
BleedingMoon89- Glad you liked the Wanda/Kurt fluff. I was going to have Pyro instead of Kurt but a friend (You know who you are!) advised me otherwise. More Todd and Felicia soon!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- I should think you have issues, Little Miss How-Do-You- Feel-About-Spanking! Here's your update! * Kisses * ^_~  
  
Rafy3- What about Spidey and Venom? Read on and find out!  
  
Risty- YAY! Another recruit into the Anti-Pietro club! WHEE! Liked Todd's attempts at wine tasting huh? Good! More random stuff with Todd soon!  
  
Once again we find our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man and his girlfriend, the friendly neighbourhood Scottish werewolf, Rahne, walking down the street. Peter puts his arm around Rahne and kisses her on the top of the head.  
  
'You not still upset about all that stuff with Felicia are you?'  
  
'Oh no! Of course I'm not!' Rahne grins. 'I'm over it!'  
  
'Good!' Peter says. 'Cuz we've been invited to go to a party with them!'  
  
'WHAT?' Rahne yells. 'Ye cannae be serious! I'll never go tae a party wi' that tramp!'  
  
'It's a bit too late for that now!' Peter says. 'Everything's planned! They've got the food, the drink everything! We can't let them down!'  
  
'I suppose we can show up.' Rahne sighs. 'But I'm nae actin' civil towards her!'  
  
'I wouldn't expect anything less!' Peter smirks, holding Rahne closer.  
  
They then walk further down the sidewalk. Peter feels Rahne shiver.  
  
'What's up?'  
  
'We've just passed that building where we fought that venom guy!'  
  
'Don't worry Rahne. He's long gone! No one could've survived a building falling on them!'  
  
'But you said that he survived an explosion at an oil refinery, why not a building fallin' on him?'  
  
'Trust me! He's gone!'  
  
With that, they walk off.  
  
***  
  
Inside the ruins of the warehouse, unseen by the two kids, a figure moves in the darkness. It's a man. He's scrawny and he's got messed up red hair and a convict's uniform on. It's Cletus Cassidy, a wanted killer! Cassidy walks around the ruins, looking for a suitable place to lay low. He stops as he treads in something sticky.  
  
'What the...?'  
  
Cassidy bends down and touches the oozy black liquid. Much to his astonishment, the oozy black stuff is absorbed into his body. He then turns around quickly as more of the same liquid oozes from the walls. He backs away, trying to get out. Be bumps into something. He turns around and looks in fear at what he sees. The oozy black liquid has formed a humanoid shape with a mouthful of needle-like gangs.  
  
'G-get away from me!' He yells.  
  
The oozy black liquid doesn't take any notice it just approaches closer. Cassidy tries to run but he stumbles, he looks back just in time to see the oozy black liquid launch itself at him.  
  
'NOOOOO...'  
  
***  
  
It's now nighttime and Rahne and peter are getting prepared for the party. Kurt's going too, with Wanda, unsurprisingly.  
  
Peter walks up to Rahne's room and knocks on the door. It opens and he walks in. he looks Rahne up and down appreciatively. She's wearing a long green skirt along with a frilly low-cut gypsy top that's also green.  
  
'Looking good Rahney!'  
  
Rahne blushes at the compliment.  
  
'Ye dinnae that this top is a little too... revealing? I'm not exactly... endowed. Am I?'  
  
Rahne puts his arms around her waist and holds her close.  
  
'I think you look lovely.' He whispers in her ear. 'But if you think the top's too much, why don't you put a sweater on over the top?'  
  
'I suppose.' Rahne sniffs as she prepares to take of the top. Being a gentleman, peter turns around and looks the other way. He turns back just as Rahne finishes putting on a more conservative top.  
  
'That's better!' She says, taking Peter's hand. 'You ready to go?'  
  
'Ready when you are!'  
  
They then walk out the room, down the stairs and outside where Kurt is waiting in Scott's car.  
  
'Are ye sure that Scott wilnae mind you borrowing his car?' Rahne asks.  
  
Kurt flashes her his most charming smile.  
  
'Don't vorry Rahne! I zink zat Scott's a leeetle too busy vith Jean tonight!'  
  
Rahne nods in understanding and gets in. Peter follows suit and they drive off to the Brotherhood place.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, in Bayville hospital, a group of paramedics wheel in an unconscious Cletus Cassidy into the emergency room. A doctor runs up.  
  
'What happened?'  
  
'Two builders found this guy lying unconscious near where that old warehouse was burnt down a coupla days ago.' One paramedic answers.  
  
'Wheel him in here.' The doctor says, showing them a vacant room. After they get him inside, the paramedics leave the doctor to it. Two nurses rush into help. They start as Cassidy lurches awake.  
  
'What's happening to him?' One shrieks.  
  
'I don't know!' The doctor responds. He then stares in amazement as what looks like red goo starts to expand over his body.  
  
'Oh my God!' The doctor gasps.  
  
'Nuh-uh! Not God!' Cassidy gurgles. 'Only Carnage!' he then leaps up from the bed and grabs the doctor by the neck snapping it! The nurses are paralysed with fear. Cassidy's body is now covered with the red goo. The red goo now has black veins running all over it and now Cassidy's facial features are now taken up by two fearsome. Evil looking eyes and a mouth of black needle-like teeth. He then approaches the two nurses. The back away, whimpering in fear. Cassidy, or Carnage, as he is now known, just grins evilly. He stands right up next to them and opens his mouth, as if he's going to eat their faces.  
  
'Boo!' He whispers. The nurses just faint. 'Pff! Women!'  
  
Carnage's head whips around as several security guards rush in to see what the noise is about. They whip out their guns as they see Carnage standing in front of them.  
  
'What the Hell are you?'  
  
'I'm Carnage.' Uh... Carnage says amicably. 'What's your name?'  
  
Before the guard can answer, jets of Carnage's 'costume' shoot out enveloping him. There are sounds of breaking bones as the helpless security guard is crushed.  
  
'Ooh! He squishes good!'  
  
'You monster!' Another guard yells. 'You're going down!' he then lets rip with a salvo of bullets. Carnage just looks bored. He raises a hand to his mouth and yawns.  
  
'Is that the best you got?'  
  
The guard just keeps on pressing the trigger regardless of the fact that he's run out of bullets.  
  
Carnage steps up to the guard and points at him.  
  
'Excuse me, you've got something in your eye!'  
  
A razor-sharp shard of red goo shots from Carnage's hand, stabbing the guard in the eye. The guard falls down dead. Before more can turn up however, carnage leaps out of the window. Before he falls to his death, more lines of red goo shoot out, grabbing onto a building across the road. Carnage swings across, landing on the roof of a building opposite.  
  
'That was fun!' He giggles. 'I wonder what else there is fun to do around here? I wonder if there's a party going on somewhere with loads of teenagers? Oh yes! That'll be fun! It's time to paint the town red! With blood! HEEHEEHEE!'  
  
More lines of red goo shoot out as Carnage sets off on the search for fresh victims...  
  
TBC... 


	11. Paint the Town Red: Part 2

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 11: Paint the Town Red: Part 2  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing, it all belongs to Marvel.  
  
***  
  
Shout outs-  
  
Anon- 0_ou Okaaay. It seems that my fics attract all types of loonies! You seriously don't have a crush on Venom do you? *Shudder* Weird! Enjoy the chappie!  
  
Risty- Glad you liked the Spidey/Rahne fluff, more to come soon! Yup! Carnage is indeed freaky! Enjoy!!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Where did the 'Pff, women!' line come from? My general sexism is where! *Winces at ensuing feminist backlash * Enjoy the chappie luv! *Kiss * ^_~  
  
***  
  
The car containing Rahne, Peter and Kurt pulls up outside the Brotherhood place. Kurt gets out first and opens the door for Rahne.  
  
'Why thank ye kind sir!' Rahne grins.  
  
'Zink nothing of it Liebchen!' Kurt answers.  
  
'If I was paranoid.' Peter begins. 'I would swear that you were hitting on my girl!'  
  
'Oh nein! I vouldn't dream of hitting on Rahne!'  
  
Rahne shoots Kurt a glare.  
  
'Not zat I' saying that you're not attractive, you are! Ze guys did ze fuzzy chick! Just ask Sam and Roberto!'  
  
'It's cool to see Kurt squirm so much isn't it?' Peter grins.  
  
'Oh aye it is!' Rahne agrees.  
  
After Kurt has finished making an ass of himself, they walk into the party. On the way in they are met by Felicia dressed in a teeny tiny leather miniskirt and matching vest, accentuating her voluptuous figure. Rahne feels significantly less beautiful standing next to her and crosses her arms over her smaller chest. Peter feels Rahne's discomfort and puts his arm around her shoulders, comforting her.  
  
'It's nice to see that you could make it!' Felicia grins. She steps closer and kisses Peter on the lips. Rahne's face darkens in anger.  
  
Felicia turns to her. 'Nice to see you too Rahne!'  
  
Rahne sniffs slightly.  
  
'It's nice to see you too, I suppose!'  
  
Felicia then turns to Kurt.  
  
'I remember you! You were that guy that Wanda was stalking us with! How did that go?'  
  
'More better zen I expected!'  
  
'I'll say!' Felicia grins. 'You're the only thing she can talk about!'  
  
As if on cue, Pietro pops his head around the corner and when he sees Kurt, his face turns red with anger.  
  
'Wagner! I want a word with you!'  
  
Also on cue, a hexbolt hits him on the chest, sending him flying across the room.  
  
'Hello Kurt.' Wanda says.  
  
'Hello yourself Liebe!' Kurt says, kissing Wanda on the cheek, making her blush slightly.  
  
'Do you want a drink?' Wanda asks.  
  
'Zankyou, I'd love one!' Kurt answers. And with that, they move off to the kitchen leaving Rahne alone with Felicia and Peter.  
  
'Well, I've got to go.' Felicia says. 'Todd ain't gonna kiss himself! Or maybe he will! Enjoy yourselves!'  
  
Now Rahne and Peter are left alone.  
  
'May I have this last dance milady?' Peter asks, offering Rahne his arm. Rahne takes it and smiles as he holds her close and dances slowly to the music.  
  
***  
  
Carnage follows the sound of noisy teens and deafening music. He perches in the branches of a nearby tree and watches his prey move in and out of the building.  
  
'This place will to very nicely!' He grins. 'I can't wait to lick their blood from my fingers! Yum!'  
  
He then jumps down from the tree and sneaks to the back of the house.  
  
'Heehee!' he giggles. 'These kids won't know what killed 'em! Well me, obviously! But they won't know it till it's too late! Heh!'  
  
***  
  
Back inside, Peter and Rahne are sitting down on a seat resting after a long dance.  
  
'Whoof!' Rahne breathes. 'This dancing's too much! I'm sweatin' cobs!'  
  
'I think you look cute when you sweat!' peter grins.  
  
'Ye're sweet tae say so Peter.' Rahne grins back. 'But ye've never seen me sweat! It's all matted hair and stinky cheese smell!'  
  
Peter takes an ice cube out of his drink and offers it to her.  
  
'Here, have this. It'll cool you down.'  
  
Rahne takes the ice cube and wipes it across her forehead. She grins at the cooling feeling. She then goes to pass it to Peter but yelps as she accidentally drops it down her top.  
  
'Ah! Ah! Coldcoldcold!'  
  
'Do you want me to get it?' Peter asks with a wink.  
  
'That wilnae be necessary thank ye.' Rahne answers. 'I can get it meself!'  
  
***  
  
Over the other side of the room, Kurt and Wand are standing with drinks in their hands, taking to Todd and Felicia.  
  
'So you actually saw them naked togezzer?' Kurt chuckles. 'Oh I vish I vas zere!'  
  
Felicia and Todd blush at the memory of Wanda walking in on them. Wanda fixes her fuzzy blue guy with a mock glare.  
  
'I'm warning you Kurt!' She says. 'One more word and I won't do that thing that you like with your tail!'  
  
'Aha!' Todd grins as the tables finally turn. 'It seems like the elf's likes it kinky, yo!'  
  
Under his fur Kurt blushes deeply.  
  
There is a shrill scream as the room is suddenly dropped into darkness.  
  
'Pietro!' Lance groans. 'Don't be such a pansy!'  
  
'Bite me Alvers!'  
  
'Sorry, that ain't my kinda thing!'  
  
'Ladies and gentlemen!' A voice says. 'Can I have your attention please?'  
  
Everybody turns around and sees a shadowy figure walk into the room.  
  
'My name is Carnage and I will be your murderer this evening!'  
  
There is another shrill scream as the lights turn back on, illuminating the red and black figure of Carnage!  
  
'Can someone please shut him up?' Carnage asks. 'His screaming is giving me a headache!'  
  
Fred punches Pietro upside the head, knocking him out.  
  
'Thanks for that Tubby!' carnage says. 'I'll kill you quickly, but unfortunately for you guys, I'm gonna kill you all slowly!'  
  
'Nuts to this!' Wanda sighs. 'I'm ending this now!' She throws a hexbolt across the room, hitting Carnage in the chest. The psychotic killer hisses in pain as the bolt of magical blue energy knocks him across the room.  
  
'You'll pay for that girl!' He yells. 'I'm gonna use your bones to pick my teeth!'  
  
'Keep your hands off her you damn dirty, vhat ever you are!' Kurt yells. 'Or you'll have me to answer for!'  
  
'Ooh! Whatcha gonna do fuzzy?' Carnage taunts. 'Tickle me with your fuzz?'  
  
'Nein.' Kurt grins. 'I'll do zis!'  
  
Carnage gasps as Kurt throws a candle through the air, in his direction. Carnage screams in pain, as he is set alight.  
  
'NOOO! FIRE! IT BURNS!' he screams, running out of the house, right into Pyro!  
  
'Ooh, pretty!' The Australian pyromaniac sighs, his eyes fixed on the blazing figure. 'Let's see if I can make you dance mate!'  
  
'NOOOO!' Carnage screams as Pyro uses his powers to make the fire burn more furiously.  
  
***  
  
Kurt, Wanda, Rahne, Todd, Felicia and Pyro gather round as Nick Fury and some SHIELD agents arrive and cart away a defeated Carnage in a sonic cage.  
  
'Nice working kid.' Fury says to Pyro. 'You ever thought of a career in the Special Service?'  
  
'Is your eye patch flammable?' Pyro asks.  
  
Fury just shakes his head. 'Take this psycho away guys!'  
  
Carnage fixes them with a glare.  
  
'I woulda got away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky kids and your damn elf!'  
  
'Shut up Cassidy!' Fury sighs, zapping him with a tazer. Carnage yelps in pain as several thousand volts of electricity shoot through his body.  
  
Wanda and co watch, as he is loaded into a truck.  
  
'How did Fury know that he was here?' She asks.  
  
Pietro walks up with a cocky grin on his face.  
  
'That's just one of the perks when you date an Avenger!' He grins.  
  
'What?' Todd asks. 'You datin' Captain America or sumthin', yo?'  
  
Pietro's cocky smile disappears from his face and he storms back into the house.  
  
Kurt turns to the others.  
  
'I believe zat we have a party to get back to!'  
  
'Best idea I've heard all day!' Peter grins. 'I wanna see Rahne sweat again!'  
  
'Ye are such a perv, Parker!' Rahne grins.  
  
END (For now!) 


	12. The InseyWinsey Picnic

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 12: The Insey-Winsey Picnic  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, it all belongs to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- Okay, so you don't have a crush on Venom. Oh look! Another Pyro fangirl! Not that it's wrong to like Pyro he's cool! ENJOY!!  
  
Risty- You like it huh? Todd doing things with his tongue? You've been thinking about this too much haven't you? I can see where you're coming from with the Pietro/Vision thing. Nothing like keeping it in the family, right?  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Here's your update luv! Kurt is a little kinky isn't he? Oh, and in response to your setting my pants on fire, * slap on butt *  
  
Special thanks to Rafy3 and Bleedingmoon89- Thanks for the reviews guys!  
  
***  
  
Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters-  
  
Peter Parker is currently sat on his bed staring into space. It's the beginning of a long and boring weekend. Ever since the attack on the Brotherhood's party by Carnage, everything had been quiet. Too quiet in Peter's opinion. He sighs loudly and sits up to find something to do. He looks under his bed at his comic book collection. Na, not there, he read all those yesterday. He could always go into the garden with the others. On second thoughts, maybe not, the last time he played catch with the others he threw the ball too hard and smashed the windscreen on Scott's car. Peter's Spider-Sense starts to tingle as someone opens knocks on his bedroom door.  
  
'Peter! It's me, Rahne. Can I come in?'  
  
Peter gets of his bed and goes to open the door to let Rahne in.  
  
'Can can I do you for Furtop?' Peter asks his lycanthropic girlfriend.  
  
'Kurt an' Wanda are going out f'r a picnic and they asked us tae come along!'  
  
'Cool, a picnic!' Peter grins. 'Tell them that I'm up for it!'  
  
No sooner said than done, then Rahne pops back downstairs to tell Kurt.  
  
***  
  
The Brotherhood Boarding House-  
  
Todd and Felicia are presently hanging out in her room. Felicia is laid on her front on her bed reading a magazine while Todd lies beside her. The two of them look up as they hear someone approaching. Todd gets up and opens the door. On the other side is Wanda, poised to knock.  
  
'What can I do ya for Wanda?' Todd asks.  
  
'I'm going on a picnic with Kurt later.' Wanda answers, looking past Todd and onto Felicia. 'Do you want to come along?'  
  
Felicia looks up from her magazine and grins.  
  
'Why the sudden change of attitude Wanda? I thought you hated me?'  
  
'My relationship with Kurt's making me soft.' Wanda shoots back.  
  
'I'm game if you are Todd.' Felicia says.  
  
'Yeah, I'm all for a picnic, yo.'  
  
'I'll go and tell Kurt.' Wanda says, walking away.  
  
***  
  
Rahne, Peter, Felicia and Todd are sat in Lance's jeep while Kurt and Wanda grab up some food and drinks for their picnic. Peter and Todd are talking about the latest issue of some random comic book while Felicia and Rahne gossip. The two girls seem to be getting on fine now that Rahne has got over her jealousy of Felicia. The four of them stop talking as they see Wanda and Kurt walk out of the Brotherhood place with picnic baskets in their hands.  
  
'Gee, I didn't even know that we had any picnic baskets.' Todd smirks.  
  
'It might help if you checked the cupboards.' Wanda sighs.  
  
'We have cupboards?'  
  
Wanda just rolls her eyes and gets in the driver's seat with Kurt beside her.  
  
'So where are we going, yo?' Todd asks.  
  
'Oh I don't know Todd.' Kurt answers. 'Vhat about ze park?'  
  
'I knew that!'  
  
They stop talking as Wada starts up the engine and drives off.  
  
***  
  
Bayville Park-  
  
Rahne and Wanda are now laid back on the grass while Todd and the others play catch with Peter's football.  
  
'And Tolensky's about to win the Superbowl when...'  
  
BAMF! Kurt teleports over and snatches the ball away from him.  
  
'You snooze, you lose!' The fuzzy elf smirks.  
  
'No fair Kurt! No powers!'  
  
'Don't be such a baby Toddy!' Felicia teases as she makes a grab for the ball. 'Anyway, we all know that I'm the best at catch!'  
  
'We'll soon see about that Cuddle Bumps!' Todd shoots back as he leaps in Felicia's direction.  
  
'Todd! Watch out!' Peter yells.  
  
'Huh?' Too late! Todd crashes into a nearby tree.  
  
'Omigod!' Felicia winces as she runs over. 'Are you alright?'  
  
'The sea monkeys stole my money...'  
  
'Okay, game's over!' Peter says. 'We've got a man down! Besides, I'm hungry! Rahne, have we got any beef and mustard sandwiched left?'  
  
'I'm afraid not laddie, I ate the last one!'  
  
'Oh! Have we got any chicken salad sandwiches?'  
  
'Guilty as charged!' Wanda says from beside Rahne.  
  
'What sandwiches do we have left then?'  
  
Kurt rummages through the basket.  
  
'Ve haff egg mayonnaise and vater cress.'  
  
'Eww!' Everyone winces. 'That's disgusting!'  
  
'I'll just have a soda.' Peter sighs as he grabs up a bottle of Pepsi.  
  
***  
  
The picnic is just winding down as everybody has paired off and gone to sit with their respective others. Rahne and peter are sat under a tree while Todd and Felicia sit by the duck pond and Kurt and Wanda sit on the picnic blanket.  
  
Rahne looks up at Peter's face and snuggles closer.  
  
'You comfortable their Rahney?'  
  
'Very much so!' She answers, yawning and stretching out. 'I'm almost asleep!'  
  
Over on the picnic blanket, Wanda shivers slightly as she feels the evening breeze. Kurt puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer. Wand looks in his eyes and kisses him gently on the lips.  
  
'It's a beautiful evening.' She says.  
  
'Ja.' Kurt answers. 'Zat it is! And ze evening is perfect seeing zat I am vith ze girl zat I love!'  
  
Wanda smiles and lays her head on Kurt's shoulder.  
  
Over by the pond, Todd takes Felicia's hands in his and looks her in the eye. Felicia looks back and smiles.  
  
'This day out's been wonderful Todd!' Felicia grins.  
  
'Not as perfect as you, Snookums!' Todd answers.  
  
'Correct answer Toddy!' Felicia grins again.  
  
Todd moves closer and moves a stray strand of hair behind Felicia's ear. 'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? He asks.  
  
'Not often enough!' Felicia teases.  
  
Todd just smiles and kisses her.  
  
***  
  
Everyone has arrived home. Rahne, Kurt and Peter were the first to arrive home as they were dropped off back at Xavier's.  
  
Todd and Felicia step out of the car as Wanda parks it up. They are about to open the door and walk in but Pietro stands in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
'And-what-time-do-you-call-this?'  
  
Todd looks at his watch.  
  
'Uh, half-past nine, yo.'  
  
'Don't-get-cheeky-with-me! You've-been-fraternising-with-those-X-Geeks- haven't-you?'  
  
Felicia just rolls her eyes and grabs up Pietro and deposits him on the bottom of the stairs. His complaints are cut short as Todd steps on him, climbing the stairs, the Felicia, and then...  
  
'Oh-no! Not-Wanda! Her-boots're-dangerous!'  
  
Sure enough, Wanda steps on his foot, eliciting a girlish shriek from the silver-haired speedster.  
  
'This sucks!'  
  
END! 


	13. Face it Tiger, You Just Hit the Jackpot!

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 13: Face it Tiger, You Just Hit the Jackpot!  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything! The X-Men, the Brotherhood, Felicia hardy, Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson all belong to Marvel!  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Bleedingmoon89- You're right, fluff is cool! More random fluff coming right up! ENJOY!!  
  
Anon(girl)- O_ou Okaaay... I can see that you like Pyro, A LOT! Seeing that you liked the Finding Nemo quote, I'll see if I can fit in another for you! I like cinnamon...  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Hurrah for fluff! HIP-HIP... *silence* Okaaaay... O_ou Enjoy the update! *MWAH! * ^_~  
  
Risty- I believe it was Havok and Maddy in Mutant X. That was what you were talking about right? Funnily enough, they also had a fling in the regular universe too, during the Inferno storyline! I always preferred Maddy to Jean... More Pietro acting like a pansy coming right up! WHAT? I have to pick on someone! I've grown out of my Lance torture phase and decided to pick on someone else for a change! Even if it is an arrogant white-haired speedster! Not many references today, try and guess the relevance of the title though!  
  
***  
  
Author's Note- If you guys like this, why don't you read Kitty and the Devil? It's a spin-off from this, starring Kitty Pryde and... I'm not gonna tell you who, you'll have to go read it!  
  
***  
  
'She's coming! She's coming! She's coming!' Peter squeals as he runs through the corridors of Xavier's School for Gifted Children. Several students look at Peter as if he's gone crazy. He's so excited that he's bouncing off the walls, literally! He comes to a stop as Rahne grabs his shoulder.  
  
'What's all th' fuss aboot Peter?' She asks.  
  
Peter grabs the young Scots werewolf in a huge hug and starts jumping up and down excitedly.  
  
'She's coming! She's coming!'  
  
'Who's coming?'  
  
'MJ's coming!'  
  
'Who's MJ?' Rahne asks.  
  
Peter stops bouncing up and down.  
  
'Mary Jane Watson!'  
  
Rahne still doesn't get it.  
  
'Sill not helpin' laddie!'  
  
'She's an old buddy!' Peter grins. 'And she's coming to visit!'  
  
Rahne's expression darkens somewhat at the thought of another of Peter's female friends hanging about. Peter picks up on this.  
  
'Don't worry Furtop!' He grins again, putting an arm around her shoulders. 'We weren't dating or anything!' Rahne sighs in resignation and hugs him back.  
  
'If I see her so much as kiss ye, I'll rip her spine out!' Rahne mutters.  
  
***  
  
It's now later that day and Peter is hanging out in the rec room with Rahne, Sam, and the rest of the New Recruits, and Kurt and Kitty too. There is a knock on the door. Sam gets up.  
  
'Ah'll get it!'  
  
Sam strolls over to the front door and opens it. When he sees the person standing on the other side, his jaw drops open in amazement.  
  
'Hi!' The person says. 'I'm MJ, I'm here to see Peter?'  
  
Sam just drools at the sight of a hot redhead dressed in lowcut jeans and a tiny T-Shirt that shots off a lot of midriff.  
  
MJ waves her hand in front of Sam's face.  
  
'Uh, hello?'  
  
Sam snaps out of his stupor.  
  
'Uh, he's just sittin' in the Rec Room, ah'll show you the way.' He replies, showing MJ the general direction of the Rec Room.  
  
MJ grins. 'You're a doll! Be a love and take my cases will you?'  
  
Sam is about to say otherwise when MJ pecks him on the cheek.  
  
'Thanks Tiger!'  
  
Sam just gawps as he watches her walk away. He then touches the lipstick mark on his cheek and promptly passes out!  
  
***  
  
The Rec Room-  
  
Everybody turns as they here MJ walk in. The guys instantly gawk at the hot chick standing before them and begin to drool. Peter gets up and gives her a huge hug.  
  
'It's great to see you again MJ!' He grins.  
  
MJ returns the hug and kisses peter on the cheek. The New Recruits that aren't drooling look at Rahne to see her reaction. She's wearing a forced smile.  
  
'MJ.' Peter says. 'This is my girlfriend, Rahne. Rahne, this is Mary Jane Watson.'  
  
Rahne gets up from her seat, still with her forced smile and walks over to MJ.  
  
'It's nice to finally meet you Rahne!' MJ smiles. 'Peter's told me all about you!'  
  
'Well he hasnae told me about you!' Rahne replies, shooting Peter a glare.  
  
'You'll have to excuse Rahne.' Peter chuckles nervously. 'She can get a little over-protective. She can turn into a wolf y'see and she's got this whole loyal thing goin on!'  
  
'I don't mind at all.' MJ replies. 'I think it's cool that she's looking out for her guy!'  
  
'So do ye know that we're Mutants?' Rahne asks sceptically.  
  
'Oh yeah!' MJ replies. 'Peter filled me in on all the facts!'  
  
'You can turn of your image inducer now Kurt.' Peter says.  
  
Over on the couch, the fuzzy blue teleporter breathes a sigh of relief as he turns off his inducer, revealing his true form underneath.  
  
'Oh wow!' MJ gasps. 'You're blue! That is so cool!'  
  
'Zat isn't all I can do!' Kurt grins as he disappears in a puff of smoke.  
  
MJ turns around as she hears a BAMF as Kurt appears.  
  
'I can teleport too!'  
  
MJ whistles in amazement.  
  
After that, all the other New Recruits give a short demonstration of their powers. Jubilee shots off a few fireworks, Amara conjures up a small fireball, Jamie makes up a few Multiples, Roberto powers up and lifts of the couch, giving MJ a wink, Tabitha rolls her eyes and drops a time bomb down the back of Roberto's pants. Bobby ices up a small ice sculpture; Ray shoots off a few jolts of electricity, Kitty phases through the door and back in again while Rahne changes into a wolf. After that short demonstration, Peter takes MJ to meet the others. She receives a pretty warm welcome from everyone. Jean catches Scott thinking something he shouldn't and sends him a telepathic slap.  
  
***  
  
It's now later that day and MJ finds Sam standing outside in the garden.  
  
'Hey there uh... Sam.' She says. 'I didn't get to see you show off your powers back their!'  
  
Sam clears his throat nervously.  
  
'Well ah can fly...' He mumbles. 'And when ah use mah powers, I'm covered in kinda a force field so ah can't be hurt!'  
  
'Sounds cool.' MJ replies.  
  
Sam blushes at the complement.  
  
MJ is about to carry on with her questions when Sam cuts her off.  
  
'Ahthinkyou'rerealprettyandahwaswonderin'whetheryahwantedtogotothecarnivalon friday?'  
  
MJ takes a moment to decipher the babble before answering.  
  
'I'd be glad to Sam!' She grins. She then gives him another kiss on the cheek, making him turn as red as a beetroot!  
  
'Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!' (1)  
  
TBC...  
  
NOTES-  
  
(1)- Yup, those were the first words that Mary Jane Watson said to peter Parker waaaaay back in Amazing Spider-Man #25!  
  
NEXT: Carnival fun with Peter, Rahne, Kurt, Wanda, Todd, Felicia, Sam, Mary Jane and... Electro!!! 


	14. Danger! High Voltage

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 14: Danger! High Voltage  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- The X-Men, Spider-Man, Felicia Hardy, Mary Jane Watson and Electro all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Bleedingmoon89- A big MJ fan huh? More MJ/Sam fluff coming up next!  
  
Anon(girl)- May I make a suggestion regarding your alien problem? Take a leap our of Sigourney Weaver's book, toast them with a flamethrower! I like the idea of Scot with a pink cotton candy afro but I'm afraid that I can't use it though. Sorry!  
  
Risty- It is kinda ironic that Sam and Spidey have swapped chicks, I didn't think of it like that! More references up soon!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Glad you liked it! MJ with Sam? What can I say? I like random pairings!  
  
Also, thanks to Sparky Genocide!  
  
***  
  
We presently find Mary Jane Watson sharing a room with Tabitha Smith. Tabitha's sitting on her bed drawing moustaches and devil horns on the models in one of Jean's fashion magazines that she 'borrowed.'  
  
'So.' Tabby says. 'You dig the Hayseed huh?'  
  
'Yeah.' MJ replies. 'He's cute.'  
  
Tabby outs down the magazine and continues with the questions. 'No offence or anything but why? He's got a mullet!'  
  
A smile spreads on MJ's face.  
  
'And this is coming from the chick that's dating the guy with SpongeBob underoos?'  
  
Tabby sits up suddenly at the mention of her boyfriend's undergarments.  
  
'How do you know what 'Berto's undies look like?'  
  
'Rahne told me.' MJ replies.  
  
'How did she know?'  
  
'I think it was something involving a stolen diary.'  
  
'Oh.' Tabby says. 'So that was why Roberto was hiding that day, he stole Rahne's diary and she turned into a wolf and tore the seat of his pants off!'  
  
'Apparently.'  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, in Sam's room, we find Mister Guthrie currently in a heated discussion with his roommate, Roberto DaCosta.  
  
'C'mon Sam!' Roberto begs. 'Tell me what it was like! Is MJ a good kisser?'  
  
'Ah'm not telling yah anything 'Berto!' Sam replies. 'A gentleman never kiss and tells!'  
  
'I bet you'll tell Rahne!' Roberto continues. 'I'll just go ask her.'  
  
'An' do yah think she'll talk to yah after that diary incident?'  
  
Roberto mumbles something in Portuguese to himself and slumps down on the bed.  
  
Sam suddenly bursts out laughing. 'Ah can't believe yah wear SpongeBob boxer shorts!'  
  
Sam ducks out the way as a pillow is thrown his way.  
  
***  
  
Later that day-  
  
It is now time to go to the carnival and everyone is in their rooms getting ready.  
  
Sam waits at the bottom of the stairs nervously waiting for MJ along with Peter and Kurt.  
  
'So you seemed to get on fine with MJ, Sam.' Peter says.  
  
'Oh yeah.' Sam replies. 'She's... nice.'  
  
'Zat isn't vhat I heard!' Kurt adds.  
  
'What did yah hear?'  
  
'I heard she kissed you!' Kurt grins.  
  
'Maybe she did.' Sam replies, blushing slightly.  
  
Peter pats him on the back in congratulations.  
  
'Good for you Sam, you deserve... oh my stars and garters!'  
  
Kurt and Sam look up the stairs to see what has distracted Peter. They gasp as they see Rahne and MJ walking down the stairs. Rahne is wearing a low- cut red T-Shirt with black jeans and sandals while MJ wears a tight yellow sweater, blue jeans and cowboy boots (for some reason!) (1)  
  
'Hi guys!' MJ grins. 'Like what you see?'  
  
Sam mumbles incoherently.  
  
'Are we going tae pick up Wanda, Todd and Felicia on the way? Rahne asks.  
  
'Vanda said zat she'd be ze vun picking us up. She says zat Pietro's invited himself along, he vants to show off his new 'girlfriend!'  
  
'How long do you think it'll be before someone beats him up?' Peter asks.  
  
'Knowing him.' Rahne says. 'Wanda wouldae hexed him twice bef'r they stepped oot o' the house!'  
  
***  
  
The Brotherhood Boarding House-  
  
Sure enough, Pietro is lying in a pile on the floor, after being hexed by Wanda!  
  
'And that's for being an arrogant jerk!' Wanda yells.  
  
Felicia and Todd walk in to see what all the fuss is about.  
  
'What's up with Pietro, yo? You zapped him Wanda?'  
  
'Yes I did Todd, he was being a jerk, as always!'  
  
Then there is a knock on the door.  
  
'I'll get it!' Felicia says.  
  
She walks up to the door and answers it. On the other side is an attractive looking blonde girl with a black hair band around her head. She is dressed in a flowing yellow dress.  
  
'Uh, hi. I'm Crystal, I'm her to see Pietro?'  
  
Felicia is momentarily shocked at the thought that Pietro's 'girlfriend' actually exists and isn't a figment of the white-haired speedster's imagination.  
  
'Pietro's actually indisposed at the moment.' Felicia replies. 'But you can come in anyway.'  
  
Felicia leads Crystal into the house and introduces her to the others.  
  
'Guys, this is Crystal, Pietro's GIRLFRIEND!'  
  
The Wanda and Todd's jaws drop at the sight of Pietro's REAL girlfriend.  
  
'Nice to see ya!' Todd says, hopping up and shaking Crystal's hand. 'I'm Todd.'  
  
'Wanda.' Wanda says, not making any move to shake her hand or anything.  
  
'So any idea where Pietro is?' Crystal asks.  
  
'He's unconscious on the floor.' Felicia answers.  
  
A confused expression spreads on Crystal's face.  
  
'Long story.' Wanda tells her.  
  
After Pietro has gained consciousness, they all get into Lance's jeep and drive over to Xavier's to pick up Kurt, Rahne and the others.  
  
***  
  
The jeep containing everyone pulls up outside the fairground. Kurt gets out and speaks to the others.  
  
'So, are ve going to stick together or are ve going to...?'  
  
'Kurt.' Wanda says. 'They're all gone!'  
  
'I supposes zat answers zat question.' Kurt sighs. 'So, vhat do you vant to do first Vanda?'  
  
'I thought we could go on the Ferris wheel first.' Wanda replies.  
  
'Vhat ze lady vants, ze lady gets!' Kurt says as he flashes Wanda a charming smile.  
  
***  
  
Todd and Felicia-  
  
Todd and Felicia are walking arm in arm along by the various game stalls. Just as they pass an archery stall, Felicia stops.  
  
'C'mon Todd, you wanna go?' She asks.  
  
'I dunno 'Licia.' Todd replies. 'Archery never was my thing.'  
  
'C'mon Toddy.' Felicia says, with an adorable pout. 'Win me a teddy bear!'  
  
Todd sighs, walk up to the stall and pays. The guy passes him a couple of arrows.  
  
'Hit a Bullseye and win a bear.' The guy says.  
  
'This shouldn't be too hard.' Todd says, taking aim. He pulls back the bow and lets rip. The arrow misses. He loads up another arrow, fires it, and misses. He loads up the last arrow, takes aim, closes his eyes in concentration, lets rip and opens his eyes when he hears the arrow hit something. Unfortunately, he hasn't hit the Bullseye, he's hit the bear, right in-between the eyes! The stall guy looks at them with a glare.  
  
'Way to go Robin Hood!' Felicia grins. 'Great shooting!'  
  
'I told ya archery wasn't my thing, yo!' Todd replies.  
  
'C'mon Toddy.' Felicia continues. 'I'll treat you to a corndog!'  
  
***  
  
Sam and MJ-  
  
Sam and MJ are walking by the ghost train.  
  
'That looks like fun.' MJ says. 'You wanna go on Sam?'  
  
'Ah don't see why not.' Sam replies. 'Ah'll pay!'  
  
'Always the perfect gentleman!' MJ replies, pecking him on the cheek.  
  
Sam blushes deeply as he walks up and gets the tickets. He opens up the seating bar to let MJ in, and then sits down himself.  
  
'Ooooh!' MJ shivers. 'I'm scared already! Sam, hold me!'  
  
Sam stutters a bit before putting his arm around MJ's shoulders.  
  
'You do realise that I was just saying that to get you to hold me right?' MJ asks.  
  
'Ah may be from the South.' Sam says. 'But I ain't stupid!'  
  
The two sit back as the ride starts. They both yawn, as the ghost train isn't very scary at all. Then, the lights black out.  
  
'Uh... that can't be right!' Sam says. 'MJ? Are yah alright?'  
  
'Never better Sam!' MJ replies.  
  
'Ah just wanted to make sure cuz ah didn't know whether y' were afraid of the dark or... mmmf!'  
  
Much to Sam's surprise, MJ plants a smacker on his lips. As the lights come back on, we can see that Sam has several lipstick marks on his face, along with a goofy smile.  
  
***  
  
Rahne and Peter-  
  
Rahne and Peter are now walking along past the rides. Rahne has a large piece of cotton candy while Peter carries a large teddy bear that he won on one of the stalls.  
  
'I've never had this much fun since Amara set Roberto's socks on fire!' Rahne grins.  
  
'I don't even want to know why she did it' Peter replies.  
  
'It all started when 'Berto untied her bikini top in the swimming pool...' Rahne says.  
  
'I said I didn't want to know!' Peter replies. 'But now it's going to bother me until I hear what happened!'  
  
Rahne continues her story.  
  
'Well, Amara then let out a scream, as ye would if someone nicked yuir bikini top...'  
  
She is cut off as a popcorn stall is blown up by what seems to be a lightning bolt.  
  
'That cannae be right.' Rahne says. 'Miss Monroe's out wi' Mister Logan today!'  
  
'I don't think it's Storm.' Peter replies. 'Look!'  
  
Peter points upwards, where a guy dressed in a green bodysuit with a yellow lightning pattern, yellow boots and a mask with more lightning bolts, flies overhead, zapping random objects with blasts of pure electricity.  
  
'Looks like it's hero time!' Peter says as he runs behind a stall to get into his Spider-Man costume.  
  
Rahne just rolls her eyes and follows suit as she changes into her werewolf form.  
  
Then, they are knocked off their feet by a gust of wind. Yup, it's Pietro.  
  
'Give it up Sparky! No one's gonna spoil this carnival, apart from me... and maybe the Blob!'  
  
'The name's Electro, kid!' The guy yells back. 'As in Electro-CUTE!'  
  
As if to illustrate his point, Electro blasts Pietro with a bolt of electricity, sending him crashing into a cotton candy machine, covering him with pink goo.  
  
'Cleanup on aisle two!' Peter yells as he leaps into action.  
  
'What?' Electro yells. 'More heroes? I shoulda stayed in Manhattan!' OW!'  
  
Electro looks down and sees and angry werewolf clamped onto his leg.  
  
'Nice doggy!' Electro hisses as he tries to zap Wolfsbane.  
  
Wolfsbane lets go, only to clamp onto his hand. Electro lets out a yell of pain and tries to shake her off.  
  
'Rahne, heads up!' A voice shouts.  
  
Wolfsbane turns around and sees Sam using his powers to fly towards them. She lets go, just as Sam flies into Electro, sending him flying into a nearby fire truck. A water nozzle snaps open, covering Electro with water. He gives out a scream of pain, as his own powers are his powers react with the water, sending several thousand volts of electricity through his body.  
  
'Good thing ah always pay attention in science class!' Sam grins. 'Water conducts electricity!'  
  
He then turns around as MJ runs up to him and plants yet another huge smacker on his lips, leaving him with a goofy smile on his face.  
  
***  
  
Later, after the police have arrived to take Electro into custody, Rahne, Peter and co sit around talking about their latest fight against a villain.  
  
'So Todd.' Peter says. 'Where were you and Felicia?'  
  
Todd and Felicia break out in identical blushes.  
  
'We were... on the Ferris wheel.' Todd lies, they were making out behind the 'Hook-A-Duck' stall.  
  
'What about you and Wanda, Kurt?' Rahne asks. 'Where were you?'  
  
Kurt looks at Wanda nervously.  
  
'Ve were also... on the Ferris wheel...' He lies, they were making out behind the coconut shy!  
  
Pietro sits up with a groan.  
  
'Doesn't-anyone-care-that-I-got-zapped-by-a-loony-in-yellow-tights?' he asks.  
  
'No, not really.' Wanda replies.  
  
Pietro slumps his shoulders and mutters random curses. Crystal pats him on the shoulders.  
  
'There, there.' She says. 'I'm sure you've had worst!'  
  
'Yeah!' Todd adds. 'Remember that time when Felicia broke his hand?'  
  
'Or that time when she hit him upside the head with a frying pan!' Wanda adds.  
  
'Or zat time at ze party...'  
  
Pietro cuts Kurt off.  
  
'Please-stop-any-time-you-want...'  
  
Kurt continues.  
  
'And he screamed like a girl!'  
  
'Why-do-you-hate-me-so?' Pietro moans.  
  
END...  
  
NEXT: Todd and Felicia VS Doctor Octopus! 


	15. In the Octopus's Garden

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 15: In the Octopus's Garden  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Todd, Felicia, the rest of the Brotherhood and Dr Octopus all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- You really are a Pyro fangirl aren't you? Heh! And yes, I did get the Pietro/cotton candy machine bit from you but instead of Scott, I used Pietro.  
  
Sparky genocide- Glad you liked the fight with Electro, hopefully you'll like Doc Ock's appearance too!  
  
Agent-G- I was kinda disappointed with the Electro fight myself, and I wrote the damn thing! Crystal is a canon character. She first appeared in an issue of the Fantastic 4 (I forget which one) where she began a relationship with the Human Torch. After they broke up, she began a relationship with Quicksilver, going on to marry him and then have a child with him too, called Luna. I hope that cleared it all up.  
  
Risty- Damn my crappy science skills! *Shakes fist angrily! * Berto and Tabby is actually a canon couple, just read X-Force for proof. Ultimate Pietro into incest? Since when? Who with? Eeew!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Sympathy for Pietro and Roberto? Are you tripping? I dressed MJ like that just for you! *Kiss * ^_~  
  
***  
  
The Brotherhood Boarding House: 6 pm-  
  
Lance and Fred are sat in front of the TV as Todd comes bounding down the stairs.  
  
'Have you guys seen Felicia?' he asks.  
  
'She left a note on the fridge.' Lance replies, not even looking away from the TV.  
  
'She said something about wearing your costume.' Fred joins in, taking a bite out of his pizza.  
  
Todd hops into the kitchen and up to the fridge. He sees the note stuck to the fridge door with a Hello Kitty fridge magnet and takes it off. He reads it out loud to himself.  
  
'Toddy, sorry I can't be there right now; I'm preparing a special surprise for you. Just meet me on the top of Worthington Towers at 7.30. Wear your costume.'  
  
Todd puts down the note and taps his chin thoughtfully.  
  
'I wonder what she's got planned?'  
  
He then hops out of the room and into the living room.  
  
'I'm just going to have a shower guys!' He says. 'I'm going on a date with 'Licia!'  
  
Lance looks at Fred with an incredulous expression on his face.  
  
'Did he just say shower?'  
  
'Meh, what'cha gonna do? Love makes you do the wacky!' Fred shrugs.  
  
Later-  
  
Todd hops down the stairs clad in his usual Brotherhood costume.  
  
'Seeya later guys! Don't wait up, yo!'  
  
With that, he bounces out the door and is gone.  
  
Fred pops his head out the kitchen and looks at Lance, who is still sat on the sofa.  
  
'Don't you think it's weird?' He asks. 'Everybody's getting paired up but me. Todd's got Felicia, Wanda's got Kurt and Pietro's got Crystal. Hell, even you've got that Mary chick!'  
  
'You're not gonna get maudlin on me are you, man?' Lance replies.  
  
'Hell no!' Fred says. 'As long as I've got a foot long grilled cheese sandwich, I'm happy!'  
  
***  
  
Worthington Towers: Later-  
  
A tall good-looking blonde guy (Warren Worthington) walks in through the front entrance of Worthington Tower. He walks past the security guard on duty.  
  
'Evenin' Mister Worthington.' The guard says.  
  
'Evenin!' Warren replies. He then takes an elevator up several floors. Once the elevator has gone as far as it'll go, Warren gets out and takes the stairs for the next few floors. When he reaches the roof access door, he walks out onto the roof.  
  
Felicia Hardy is sat out on the roof clad in a low cut leather catsuit with fur-trimmed cuffs and boots.  
  
'Damn you look hot tonight Snookums!' 'Warren' says as he presses a button on his watch. There is a sizzle of static and we see that it was Todd all along, disguised as Warren all along using on of Kurt's old image inducers.  
  
'You don't look so bad yourself Toddy!' Felicia replies, looking Todd up and down appreciatively. She pats the blanket laid out on the floor next to her. 'Why don't you join me?'  
  
Todd hops over and sits down next to her.  
  
'Champagne?' Felicia offers, pouring a couple of glasses.  
  
'Thanks.' Todd says, taking a glass from her. 'So why'd you want to meet me up here for, yo?'  
  
'I just like the view.' Felicia replies. 'I come and sit up here all by myself sometimes.'  
  
Todd looks over at the lights of Bayville.  
  
'I've gotta say Cuddle Bumps, it is a good view!'  
  
Felicia then locks her hand in Todd's and leans closer and kisses him. Todd gently lowers her back and deepens the kiss. Then they are broke apart by the sound of breaking glass and a burst of gunfire. Felicia looks over the edge of the roof and peers down.  
  
'It looks like there's a commotion at Bayville Bank, we'd better go check it out!'  
  
'What are we?' Todd asks. 'The Avengers? Let them handle it!'  
  
'C'mon Toddy!' Felicia replies. 'Great power and all that! Let's go!'  
  
Todd reluctantly gets up and walks over to the roof edge.  
  
'How are we gonna get down there, you?' He asks.  
  
'With this!' Felicia replies as she flexes her wrist and a grappling hook shoots out.  
  
'How'd you do that, you? That was cool!' Todd grins.  
  
'I've got mini grappling hooks in my bracelets!' Felicia replies as she grabs the wire and tests for strength. 'You coming?'  
  
Todd cautiously holds onto Felicia and lets out a fearful shriek as they swing over to the bank.  
  
***  
  
Bayville Bank-  
  
Several armed guards are firing at a man in a green jumpsuit, glasses and a pudding bowl haircut holding several bags of money in his hands. This isn't any ordinary man and his hands aren't any ordinary hands. The man is Dr Octopus and he's holding the moneybags with one pair of his metal tentacles while he fends off the gunfire with his other pair.  
  
'Do you think that gunfire can stop Dr Octopus?' He yells. 'These tentacles can crush a tank!'  
  
To prove his point, Octopus hits one of the security guards with a tentacle, smashing him through a window.  
  
The few remaining guards let rip with a final salvo of gunfire as Octopus picks up a cash desk. He is about to throw it when he is hit in the eyes with a glob of green goo.  
  
'Who dares?'  
  
'We dare, ya four-eyed goon!' Todd yells.  
  
'Four-eyed goon?' Felicia asks.  
  
'What?' Todd replies. 'I left my witty book in my other pants!'  
  
Octopus tears at the goo with his hands.  
  
'You will pay for this!' He yells. 'No on humiliates Dr Octopus!'  
  
'Why do the bad guys always refer to themselves in the third person?' Felicia asks.  
  
'Jokes later Snookums!' Todd says. 'But first, duck!'  
  
Felicia narrowly avoids the cash desk that is thrown at her.  
  
'Stay still so I can crush you!' Octopus yells.  
  
'Not on your life Spanky!' Felicia yells back as she leaps into the air. She turns mid-leap and drops onto Octopus's back. She then proceeds to pummel him mercilessly.  
  
'Cat!' Todd yells. 'Watch out for his arms!'  
  
Too late, Octopus grabs Felicia off his back with one of his tentacles and starts to crush her in its grip.  
  
'You get your stinking tentacles off her you damn dirty octopus!' Todd yells as he leaps to Felicia's rescue. He whips out a Tazer from his pocket and jams it into the arm's joint. Octopus lets out a yell of pain, as the arms' workings are short-circuited, letting Felicia go.  
  
As she drops to the floor, Felicia sweeps her legs under Octopus, tripping him up.  
  
'You think a puny kick can harm me?' Octopus yells. 'Watch this!' One of the tentacles whips out in Felicia's direction. He easily avoids them but Todd isn't so lucky! The tentacle hits him square in the ribs, sending him sailing into a vending machine. He falls to the ground unconscious.  
  
'You'll pay for that Octopus!' Felicia hisses.  
  
'I'd like to see you try!' Octopus laughs.  
  
'Oh I'll try alright!' Felicia glares.  
  
She leaps into the air again. Octopus tries to grab her but she's too fast. Felicia lands on Octopus's back and starts to tear at the joins of his metal arms.  
  
'No!' Octopus yells. 'Don't do that! My tentacles will be powerless!'  
  
'Too bad!' Felicia grins as she rips out one more wire. 'It looks like you're perfectly 'armless!'  
  
'I don't need my tentacles to beat you!' Octopus grins as he goes for a gun. Felicia sees this movement and kicks him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. She then gives him a vicious punch to the face, breaking his nose. Then again, and again, and again!  
  
'Please, I beg you, stop!' Octopus whimpers. 'No more!'  
  
Felicia drops Octopus and shoots him a look of disgust.  
  
'There's nothing worse than a cowardly super villain!' She sneers.  
  
***  
  
Later, after the cops have taken away an unconscious Dr Octopus-  
  
Felicia is now in her room tending to Todd's wounds.  
  
'Ow!' Todd squeaks. 'That hurt!'  
  
Felicia stops dabbing Todd's wounds and shoots him a look.  
  
'Tch, you're such a guy!' Felicia teases. 'Hit him upside the head with a crowbar and he'll be fine but try to disinfect his wounds and he cries like a silver-haired speedster!'  
  
'You could give me more credit, yo!' Todd replies. 'I did leap to your rescue!'  
  
Felicia just smiles good-naturedly and turns to Todd's dislocated shoulder.  
  
'We're gonna need a towel!' Felicia says.  
  
Todd gets a fearful look on his face.  
  
'Uh what for Cuddle Bumps?'  
  
'For your shoulder silly!' She grins. 'Ah well, this'll do!'  
  
Felicia picks up and old sweater and ties it around Todd's shoulder.  
  
' You hang onto the bedpost cuz this is gonna hurt like Hell!'  
  
Todd closes his eyes and whimpers in fear.  
  
Downstairs, Fred and Lance jump as an almighty scream cuts through the air.  
  
'AAARRGHHH!'  
  
SNAP!  
  
'Jeez!' Todd winces. 'What are you, yo? A sledgehammer?'  
  
'Nuh-uh.' Felicia replies. 'I'm just the pretty blonde screwdriver that fixes things!'  
  
'I think I swallowed my own teeth!' Todd groans.  
  
He's knocked off his feet as Felicia tackles him to the ground.  
  
'Hee! I looove it when you talk dirty!'  
  
'Ow!'  
  
'Sorry!'  
  
END...  
  
NOTES- I got the idea while I was reading Spectacular Spider-Man #7. Spidey had just been handed his butt to him by Doc Ock and MJ was applying first aid to his dislocated arm. The whole 'sledgehammer' line and the tackling to the ground come from the same issue too!  
  
NEXT: BEACH TRIP! And... The Sandman! 


	16. Mister Sandman

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 16: Mister Sandman  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Witch-Uk- I like Kurt/Wanda too! It's also canon, kinda! More fluff with fuzzy and the witch coming right up!  
  
Anon(girl)- Aw, you lost Pyro! Not to worry, have a substitute! * Gives her teddy bear dressed in Pyro suit * Better? At least you got rid of the Dudes! Pietro torture is always cool; you've got to have someone to pick on, haven't you?  
  
Jaguar- Good point! I should have had Todd and Felicia meet in Manhattan.  
  
Risty- Not a fan of Tabitha then? I'm not going to comment any more on the Ultimate Pietro/Wanda incest thing any more cuz it freaks me out! * Shivers in disgust * Are Todd and Felicia Wanda's familiars? Hmm, I didn't really think of it like that, good job!  
  
Agent-G- Liked the Doc Ock/Felicia/Todd fight, huh? I hope you like this chapter! And anyway, Sandman's never actually been well known for his intelligence has he?  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- Yeah I know, poor Todd! But at least he had Felicia to act as his nursemaid!  
  
***  
  
Quote of the day- 'I have a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!'- Edmund Blackadder  
  
***  
  
Xavier's: Saturday morning-  
  
Kurt, Rahne and Peter are sat in the rec room of the Institute. It the beginning of a long and boring weekend. Kurt is sat upside down on the sofa, counting how many tiles there are on the ceiling while Rahne and Peter play 'I-Spy.'  
  
'I spy with my little eye...' Peter says. 'Something beginning with... K!'  
  
'Kurt.' Rahne sighs.  
  
'Damn!' Peter curses. 'You got it again! Your go!'  
  
'This is a stupid game!' Rahne yawns. 'Isnae there anything else that we can do?'  
  
'Ve could vatch TV.' Kurt says.  
  
Rahne and Peter shake their heads.  
  
'Nothing good on.' Rahne replies.  
  
'We could go down to Bayville Park.' Peter adds.  
  
'Boring!' Kurt yawns.  
  
'I know what we could do!' Rahne says. 'We could go to the beach!'  
  
'Yeah!' Peter agrees. 'Let's go to the beach! Whatta ya say Kurt?'  
  
'Ze beach sounds fun.' Kurt replies. 'I'll just phone up Vanda and see if she vants to come!'  
  
***  
  
Later-  
  
While Kurt calls Wanda, Rahne and peter go to see if anybody else wants to go with them.  
  
'What aboot Sam and MJ?' Rahne asks.  
  
'I think Miss Monroe took them to go see Sam's family in Kentucky.' (1) Peter replies.  
  
'Oh aye!' Rahne replies. 'They said something aboot recruitin' Sam's sister!'  
  
'What about Tabby and Roberto?' Peter asks.  
  
'They went along with them.' Rahne answers.  
  
'What about Kitty?'  
  
'I think she's out somewhere with Matt.' (2) Rahne replies.  
  
'And that only leaves Amara, Bobby, Jubilee, Ray, Rogue, Scott and Jean.' Peter says.  
  
'Amara's out shopping with Bobby and Jubes.' Rahne answers. 'God knows where Ray is and I think that Rogue's gone out with that Cajun guy I think that Scott and jean have gone tae the city wi' Mister McCoy!'  
  
'I suppose that we'd better go ask Felicia and Todd if they want to come with us.' Peter sighs.  
  
***  
  
Outside the Brotherhood Boarding House: Later-  
  
Scott's car, driven by Kurt, pulls up outside the Brotherhood boarding house. Kurt stops the car and hops out. He runs up to the door and knocks. Todd answers.  
  
'What can I do for ya, yo?' Todd asks.  
  
'Is Vanda in?' Kurt asks. 'I'm here to pick her up to go to ze beach. Do you and Felicia wanna come?'  
  
'I'm afraid we can't, yo.' Todd replies. 'We're goin' to a date in the city.' (3)  
  
'That's funny.' A voice says behind him. 'The old you would've jumped at the chance to catch a glance at me skimpily dressed!'  
  
Kurt and Todd both turn and watch as Wanda walks down the stairs. She has a black two-piece on, sandals and a wrap around her waist. She also has a pair of sunglasses perched atop her head.  
  
'You know that I've only got eyes for 'Licia, Wanda!' Todd replies.  
  
'You look nice Vanda.' Kurt says, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. 'Are you ready to go?'  
  
'I've got my bucket and spade all prepared!' Wanda replies.  
  
'Seeya later, yo!' Todd says as they walk back to the car. 'Watch out you don't get crabs!'  
  
***  
  
The beach-  
  
Kurt and co pull up in the beach's parking lot. They stop and one by one they get out and remove all the gear from the trunk. Kurt (disguised by his holo-watch) carries the cooler full of drinks; Rahne and Wanda carry the towels and spare clothes while peter carries the giant inflatable banana (!)  
  
'I don't know why ye brought that thing!' Rahne sighs.  
  
'What?' Peter replies. 'It's a giant inflatable banana, it's funny!'  
  
Rahne just rolls her eyes and tries to find a vacant spot on the beach. Once she has, everybody puts down their stuff and gets changed into their swimming gear. Kurt and Peter already had their shorts on, along with their shirts so they just dump their shirts in the bags. Rahne and Wanda, however, had more clothes so they went into the restrooms to get changed.  
  
Kurt watches his girlfriend walk out of the restroom with her clothes slung over her shoulder. His heart almost stops as he sees what she is wearing. The black bikini top isn't too bad, but it's the bottom half that amazes him the most, all it consists of is a small piece of material tied together. Wanda pulls out her wedgie and sits down beside Kurt.  
  
'How do you like it Kurt?' She asks. 'I went out shopping with Crystal yesterday and brought it especially!'  
  
Kurt just nods politely and leans back to try and get a better look at her backside. Wanda doesn't notice as she begins to put suntan oil on herself.  
  
Rahne turns to Peter with another bottle of suntan oil in her hands.  
  
'Will ye give us a hand wi' this please Peter?' She asks.  
  
'No problem!' Peter replies as he takes the bottle from her and begins rubbing it into her back. Kurt follows suit and rubs some on Wanda's back.  
  
'Mmmm that's nice!' Wanda murmurs. 'Oh yes, that's great! Ooooh, take me now!'  
  
Peter, Kurt and Rahne stop what they're doing at once and look at Wanda incredulously.  
  
'Or not.' She blushes.  
  
***  
  
Later still-  
  
Kurt is lying on his back catching some rays while Rahne and Peter splash about in the sea. Wanda meanwhile, is over at the refreshments van, buying some ice cream.  
  
Kurt jumps from his seat as he hears screaming coming from further down the beach. He sets off running to find out what the commotion is. Much to his amazement, it seems that a man, made entirely out of sand is smashing up the beach.  
  
'So much for a quite trip to the beach!' He sighs.  
  
Rahne and Peter run up beside him.  
  
'Aren't ye going tae do anything aboot it?' Rahne asks.  
  
'I'm thinking.' Kurt replies.  
  
'HEY SANDY!' Peter yells. 'HEADS UP!'  
  
Peter throws a glob of webbing at they guy. Unfortunately, is passes straight through him. Sandman turns around and laughs at them.  
  
'Is that the best you got?' he taunts. 'You can't hurt a guy that's made out of sand!'  
  
'Zat's vhat you think!' Kurt replies. He BAMFs overt o the Sandman and attempts to pummel him with punches. As his hand strike Sandman's chest, Kurt pulls it back with a yelp.  
  
'Nice trick, right?' Sandman grins. 'How do ya like this?'  
  
Sandman turns his hand into a stone mace and clubs Kurt over the head.  
  
'Leave him alone ye Spaleen!' Rahne yells. 'He didnae do anything tae hurt ye!'  
  
'And what're you gonna do girly?' Sandman grins. 'Hit me with yer Barbie?'  
  
Rahne growls angrily and leaps at him. Sandman is momentarily stunned at the sighs of a werewolf leaping towards him but he soon gathers his thought together as he grabs Rahne and buries her neck deep in sand.  
  
'Anybody else that wants to be a hero?  
  
In answer, Peter swings forward and tries to knock him out with a mighty dropkick. But to no avail, he passes straight through Sandman and lands on his butt.  
  
'What is this?' Sandman asks. 'Amateur hero hour?'  
  
'Amateur yourself!' Peter yells as he throws yet more webbing at him. Fortunately enough, the webbing gunks up Sandman's eyes, eliciting a yell of anger from the villain.  
  
'I swear, once I get this crap off me, I'm gonna kick your ass!'  
  
'Tutut!' Peter says. 'Language Sandy, there are women and children present!'  
  
Sandman finally rips the webbing away from his eyes and continues fighting. He attempts to extend his arms and grab peter but he ducks out the way. Sandman then tries to create another stone mace with his hand. He tries to pummel Peter with it, but to no avail! Then, finally, he slams his fists into the ground, causing a tidal wave of sand to engulf Peter.  
  
'These chumps're too easy!' Sandman mutters.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile-  
  
Wanda walks up to their previous spot and looks around for the others.  
  
'Huh, I wonder where they went off to?'  
  
When she doesn't see any of them in the immediate vicinity, she sets off to look for them.  
  
When she gets to the stretch of the beach where the others had their fight with Sandman, she runs up to help them. She pulls Rahne out of her sandpit. She then turns to Kurt.  
  
'Kurt, are you alright?'  
  
'Ja, danke, Liebe.' Kurt replies. 'But zis sand is going to be murder to get out of my fur!'  
  
Wanda turns and looks as Rahne digs Peter out of his pit.  
  
'You guys stay here and rest.' Wanda tells them. 'I'm going after this guy!'  
  
'Be careful Liebe!' Kurt tells her.  
  
Wanda bends down and kisses Kurt. She looks back at him with a smile.  
  
'When am I not careful?'  
  
She then sets off to find Sandman. It doesn't take to long for her to find him smashing up yet another stretch of beach. Wanda throws a hexbolt at him, blowing up a nearby garbage receptacle.  
  
'What the Hell?' Sandman asks.  
  
'That would be me!' Wanda replies.  
  
'Get lost Chickie-Pie!' Sandman taunts. 'Leave this business to the men!'  
  
Wanda just glares angrily and readies up another hex bolt. She throws it at him just as he tires to grab her with his gigantic fists. Wanda dives out the way.  
  
'What was that?' Sandman asks. 'You missed me!'  
  
'Oh did I?' Wanda replies. 'Maybe you'd better look at yourself!'  
  
Sandman looks down at himself. Where his body joins the sand, there is a rapidly spreading sheet of glass, Wanda's hexbolt melted the sand and it's spreading towards him!  
  
'Oh no!' Sandman yells. 'You won't get away that easily!'  
  
Sandman tries to step forward but his feet have been turned into glass.  
  
'Aw nuts! This isn't fair!' he moans, just as the glass starts to spread up his neck and onto his face. 'Noooo...' Then silence as he has been totally turned into glass.  
  
Wanda turns as he hears the others run up to her.  
  
'Vay to go Vanda!' Kurt says. 'You showed him who's boss!'  
  
'You sure did!' Peter agrees.  
  
'Aye!' Rahne adds.  
  
***  
  
Later-  
  
Wanda, Kurt and co watch as Nick Fury and several SHIELD agents turn up to cart the frozen Sandman away.  
  
'Nice work you kids did today.' Fury says. 'If you catch any more of these guys, I'll soon be out of a job!'  
  
'Actually Mister Fury.' Rahne adds. 'It was Wanda that did all th' work!'  
  
'Is this true?' Fury asks.  
  
'Uh-huh.' Wanda replies.  
  
'You ever thought of becoming an Avenger?'  
  
'Pff, yeah right!' Wanda snorts. 'Like I want to join those losers, my brother's already dating one and I think that's enough!'  
  
'Suit yourself.' Fury sighs. 'Cart him away boys!'  
  
With that, Fury gets into his SHIELD armoured carrier and drives off.  
  
Wanda turns to the others.  
  
'Join the Avengers, my ass!' Wanda snorts in derision.  
  
'Vhat's up viz ze Avengers?' Kurt asks. 'I thought you had a crush on Hawkeye!'  
  
Wanda just rolls her eyes and walks off. Kurt is about to follow but he gets a puff of sand upside the head, courtesy of his girlfriend.  
  
'Oh ja, very mature Vanda!'  
  
END...  
  
NOTES-  
  
(1)- Watch out for 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!' coming soon!  
  
(2)- See 'Kitty and the Devil: My Ex-Girlfriend is an Avenger' for details (COMING SOON!)  
  
(3)- See 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Gone Avengerin' for details (also coming soon!)  
  
NEXT: Sam takes MJ home to meet the family in: 'Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!' 


	17. Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 17: Oh Mah Stars an' Garters!  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Sam Guthrie, MJ, the X-Men or Sam's family, they all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- Glad you liked the Pyro teddy! I wonder if he's flammable? Seeing that you are such an avid reviewer I decided to give you another gift! It's Scott bound with duct tape!  
  
Scott- Let me go you maniac!  
  
Silence fool!  
  
{Smacks Scott upside the head)  
  
You like?  
  
Witch-Uk- Yeah, Wanda does kick butt, doesn't she?  
  
Sparky Genocide- Glad you liked the Sandman's appearance! There's going to be more appearances from various Spidey villains soon. The Lizard's a definite, Green Goblin maybe, and maybe Venom will return! I'm sorry but I don't have any plans for the Sandman to return, unless I bring in the Sinister Six! But that may not be for a fair while yet, as I'd need to introduce everyone else first.  
  
Agent-G- I like both versions of Wanda, for various reasons. And you're right; Evolution Wanda has got a little something more than her comic counterpart! Yes, this was Sandy and Spidey's first encounter.  
  
Risty- Hurrah for Wanda! Woo! I tend to get sunburnt a lot, and then my skin gets all flaky and icky! It's not a pretty sight!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose- I wouldn't know about the bikini wedgie thing, being a guy and all. I originally got that 'Take me now!' bit from an issue of X-Treme X-Men. Psylocke was the one requesting to be took that time! This was the best? What about all that stuff with Felicia and all that Pietro torture? Huh? Huh? {Poke, poke}  
  
Quote of the day- 'Never trust a beautiful woman... especially one who's interested in you.'- Magneto (X-Men 2)  
  
Xavier's school for gifted children-  
  
Sam Guthrie and Mary Jane Watson are hanging out with Roberto DaCosta and Tabitha Smith in the rec room. The girls are snuggled up to their respective sweeties. Roberto has a wide grin on his face while Sam has his arm nervously around MJ's shoulders.  
  
{Sam, could yourself, Roberto and Tabitha please come to my office?} Professor Xavier calls them via telepathy.  
  
{Okay Professor!} Sam replies. {We'll be right there. Can MJ come along?}  
  
{I don't see why not, Sam.} Xavier replies. {She might enjoy what I have to say!}  
  
Xavier's office-  
  
Sam, MJ, Roberto and Tabitha are not in the Professor's office. Sam and MJ are sat in chairs opposite Xavier while Roberto and Tabitha stand behind them.  
  
'I just receive a telephone call from your mother Sam.' Xavier begins. 'It's concerning your sister, Paige.'  
  
A look of worry instantly begins to spread across Sam's face.  
  
'She's alright isn't she?'  
  
'Oh yes, your sister is quite fine.' Xavier replies. 'It seems that some time late last night, Paige began to exhibit mutant powers, so your mother requested that she could come here, to learn how to control her powers.'  
  
'No offence Professor.' MJ says. 'But why exactly am I being included in this? It's not as if I'm an official X-Person!'  
  
'Just think of yourself as an honorary New Recruit for the time being Mary Jane.' Xavier replies.  
  
MJ's face lights up at the thought and she grabs Sam in a huge hug.  
  
'Did'ja here that Sam? I'm gonna be an X-Man!'  
  
'Yeah, ah heard!' Sam winces as his ribs are almost crushed under her hug.  
  
'You can wear one of the New Recruits' spare costumes if you wish.' Xavier tells her. 'You can go now, Ororo is waiting in the X-Jet hangar!'  
  
The X-Jet hangar-  
  
Ororo is just preparing for takeoff when she hears the patter of feet behind her.  
  
'Is everybody ready?' She asks.  
  
A chorus of cheers rises up from Sam and the others.  
  
'Buckle up.' Ororo tells them. 'We're about to take off!'  
  
Several seats behind Ororo, MJ turns to Sam and grins.  
  
'Omigod! I can't believe that I'm actually going on a mission with the X- Men! Will I get to fight the Brotherhood or Magneto and the Acolytes?'  
  
'I'm afraid not Mary Jane.' Ororo answers. 'We're just going to pick up Sam's sister from their family farm in Kentucky!'  
  
'Sweet!' MJ grins. 'You never told me your family had a farm Sam!'  
  
'You never asked.' Sam replies.  
  
The Guthrie farm: Cumberland, Kentucky-  
  
Several figures walk out of the farmhouse as the X-Jet lands in the front yard. A hatch opens and Ororo and co step out. Sam runs up and grabs his mother in a huge hug.  
  
'Miss Monroe, this is mah ma, Lucinda!'  
  
'It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Guthrie.' Ororo says, shaking Lucinda's hand.  
  
'Ah'm glad to meet you to Miss Monroe, Sam's told me all about yah!'  
  
Sam then takes MJ's hand and introduces her to his mother.  
  
'Ma, this is MJ, mah girlfriend!'  
  
'Nice to meet you Mrs Guthrie.' MJ says.  
  
'It's nice to meet yah too dear!' Lucinda replies. 'Sam never told us that he had a girlfriend!'  
  
Sam flinches under his mother's glare. He then goes on to introduce Tabby and Roberto, then his brothers and sisters.  
  
'This is Jeb, Josh an' mah oldest sister, Elizabeth!'  
  
At the sight of the nineteen-year-old blonde, Roberto's jaw almost hits the floor. He zips up and flashes Elizabeth his most charming smile, much to Tabitha's consternation.  
  
'Howyoudoin' hot stuff?' He grins.  
  
'No offence or nuthin.' Elizabeth says. 'But you're too young for me an' ah'm gay!'  
  
Roberto's face drops and Tabitha can't help but laugh.  
  
'Why don't yah come in and meet the others?' Lucinda asks. 'Mah husband's workin' at the coal mines right now but Paige should be somewhere about!'  
  
Inside-  
  
Lucinda leads the others into the kitchen. Standing at the sink is a fifteen-year-old girl. This is Paige. As soon as she sees Sam and co walk in she lets out a yelp and runs up to her brother, wrapping her legs around him in a huge hug.  
  
'Sam! You're back!'  
  
Sam winces at his sister's grip.  
  
'Paige, ah'd like yah tah meet mah girlfriend, MJ!'  
  
Paige lets go of Sam and looks MJ up and down.  
  
'What happened to the Scottish girl you're always raving about in your letters?' She asks.  
  
MJ cocks a brow and looks at Sam with a curious expression.  
  
'Yes, Sam, what ever happened to her?'  
  
Sam flinches under the combined stares of his younger sister and girlfriend.  
  
'Can ah smell pie?' He asks, changing the subject.  
  
Later-  
  
After having a slice of pie each, Sam, MJ, Roberto, Tabitha, Lucinda, Paige and Elizabeth are sitting around the kitchen table. Lucinda gets up to wash the dishes.  
  
'I'll do the dishes ma!' Elizabeth says.  
  
Roberto jumps up from his seat.  
  
'I'll help!'  
  
'Ah'll get along fine by mahself, thanks.' Elizabeth replies.  
  
Tabitha rolls her eyes and surreptitiously drops a time bomb down Roberto's pants.  
  
'Excuse me Mrs Guthrie.' Roberto says. 'But have you got a bathroom nearby cuz I've go to pee!'  
  
'It's up the stairs and to yah right.' Lucinda replies.  
  
Roberto trots up the stairs and no sooner has he left the room, there is a loud explosion followed by a high-pitched scream of pain!  
  
'What?' Tabitha asks, as everybody looks her way.  
  
Later still-  
  
It is now time to go and Paige and Sam are giving the rest of their family a tear-filled hug goodbye.  
  
'You write back anytime yah want, y'hear?' Lucinda says, holding Sam and Paige close.  
  
'Yes mom.' Paige sighs. 'You can let me go any time you want, y'know!'  
  
'Goodbye Elizabeth!' Roberto says. 'I'll never forget you!'  
  
'Just get in ya jackass!' Tabitha sighs, shoving her errant boyfriend. 'Before I put another time bomb down yer pants!'  
  
'Are you hitting on me?' Roberto asks, giving Tabitha a lecherous wink.  
  
'Just get in!' Tabitha growls, hitting him upside the head.  
  
END...  
  
NEXT: Todd, Felicia and the Avengers in: Gone Avengin'! 


	18. Gone Avengin'

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 18: Gone Avengin'  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Todd, Felicia, the Brotherhood or the Avengers, Marvel does. I wouldn't mid owning Tigra though {drool...}  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- Glad you liked your prezzie! Good luck with finding Pyro! If you're having trouble with the Dudes, just hit them with chair!  
  
Agent-G- Hmm, I may just have that conversation between Paige and MJ. I definitely plan on having Cap make an appearance, I'm not so sure about the others though. I was thinking along the lines of Cap, Hawkeye, Tigra and so on. You're cool with that right?  
  
Quote of the day- 'I'm working on a plan. So far, it involves being sent to prison and becoming somebody's bitch.' Fred (Angel: Ground State)  
  
The Brotherhood Boarding House-  
  
Todd is waiting in the living room for his girlfriend, Felicia. He looks at the clock nervously. He's supposed to be going out on a date with her but she's taking a fair time to get ready. Usually at this time he'd be hanging out with the rest of his Brotherhood buddies hut they're all busy doing their own things. Lance and typhoid are 'upstairs', Wanda has gone to the beach, Pietro has gone on a date with his girlfriend Crystal while Fred is pottering about in the kitchen.  
  
'So where ya goin' tonight Todd?' Fred asks from the kitchen.  
  
'She hasn't told me yet, yo.' Todd replies. 'It's gonna be a surprise!'  
  
'I bet it's a kinky surprise!' Fred grins.  
  
Todd just shakes his head and continues to wait for Felicia. He looks up as he hears her walk down the stairs.  
  
'You ready Toddy?' She asks.  
  
'Ready as I'll ever be Snookums!' Todd replies.  
  
'Don't wait up Freddy!' Felicia calls into the kitchen.  
  
Random café, somewhere in Bayville-  
  
Todd and Felicia are now sat in a café. They've already ordered a coffee each and are now waiting for some of Felicia's friends.  
  
'So who are these friends, Cuddle Bumps?' Todd asks.  
  
'You ever hear of the Avengers?'  
  
'Get out!' Todd gasps. 'You know the Avengers?'  
  
'I'm an honorary Avenger!' Felicia grins. 'Back when Peter and I were together, he had a brief stint with them and I was a member by association!'  
  
'Holy crap!' Todd gasps. 'How come you never tell em this stuff, yo?'  
  
'It's not like I get much time to Toddy!' Felicia replies. 'What with all the sex!'  
  
'Who's having sex?' A voice asks from behind them.  
  
Felicia jumps up from her seat at the sound of the voice with a huge smile on her face.  
  
'Omigod! Clint!' She squeals, grabbing the blonde guy in a huge hug. 'How ya doin?'  
  
'I'm cool 'Licia.' Clint replies. 'What about you?'  
  
'I'm cool too!'  
  
'Don't I get a hello?' Clint's female companion asks.  
  
'Oh sorry.' Felicia replies. 'Nice to see ya Greer! Todd, these are Clint Barton and Greer Grant, Hawkeye and Tigra!'  
  
Todd just stares in amazement at the thought of meeting the Avengers.  
  
'He doesn't talk much does he?' Greer asks.  
  
'What can I say?' Felicia replies. 'He's star struck!'  
  
Later-  
  
Todd, Felicia, Clint and Greer are now sat talking. Greer looks over at Felicia and Todd holding hands under the table.  
  
'Don't tell me you guys are together!' She grins.  
  
'Yup.' Todd replies. 'She's my Cuddle Bumps!'  
  
'And he's my Hot Toddy!' Felicia replies.  
  
'Awww that's sooo cute!' Greer coos. 'How come you never do anything sweet like that to me anymore Clint?'  
  
'What?' Clint replies. 'I brought you flowers just this morning! Not to mention that massage last night! What more do you want from me, marriage?'  
  
'You're gonna propose to me?' Greer gasps.  
  
Clint's cocky smile instantly changes into a shocked gape.  
  
'I'm kiddin' sweety!' Greer grins. She then turns to Felicia and Todd. 'I love screwing with his head like that!'  
  
'I can't believe you guys're still together!' Felicia says. 'How long have you actually been together?'  
  
'Ever since we joined the Avengers.' Greer replies. 'And we've never regretted it since, right honey?'  
  
Clint is still shocked to silence from Greer's previous mention of marriage.  
  
'So how long have you and Todd been together?' Greer asks.  
  
'About two months.' Felicia replies.  
  
'Yeah.' Todd adds. 'She hit on me the first day she came to the Brotherhood place. One night I was woken up in the middle of the night and came down to see what the fuss was. Felicia was in the kitchen getting's something to eat. Long story short, she kissed me.'  
  
'So sweet!' Greer coos.  
  
Avengers Mansion, later still-  
  
The front door to Avengers mansion swings open as Greer and Clint show Felicia and Todd inside.  
  
'I can't believe that I'm actually in Avengers Mansion, yo!' Todd grins.  
  
'At least I can turn off this damn image inducer!' Greer sighs as she presses her watch.  
  
Todd gasps as the attractive young brunette woman changes into an attractive young weretiger.  
  
'Toddy.' Felicia says, elbowing him in the ribs. 'You're drooling!'  
  
'That's cool.' Greer says. 'You get that a lot when you fight in a teeny black bikini!'  
  
Greer shows them into the living room. The sight that greets Todd and Felicia greatly shocks them.  
  
'PIETRO!' Todd gasps. 'WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU DOING HEE, YO?'  
  
Pietro jumps up from the sofa where he was making out with Crystal.  
  
'What-the-Hell-are-you-doing-here-Toad?'  
  
'We invited them, ya goof!' Greer replies.  
  
'So when do we get to meet Captain America, yo?' Todd asks.  
  
'He should be coming back from a mission an time soon.' Greer replies.  
  
As if to prove her point, the sound of jets engines can be heard overhead.  
  
'They're home!' Greer squeals as she leads the others to the landing bay.  
  
Landing pad-  
  
Todd, Felicia and the others wait patiently for the Avenger's Quinjet lands. The door swishes open and the Avengers step out. First out, in his Star-Spangled glory, is Captain America. Next is iron Man, clad in his ever- present red and yellow battle suit. Next is the petite adventure the Wasp and her husband Goliath (or Yellowjacket, depending on the time of the week.) The last Avenger off the Quinjet is the Green Giantess, She-Hulk!  
  
'How did ya mission go Cap?' Greer asks. 'Didja whup Ultron?'  
  
'Ulty's scrap metal now.' She-Hulk replies. 'The only thing that he'll be useful for now would be an ashtray!'  
  
'Hello Felicia.' Cap says, holding out his hand. 'Nice to see you again.'  
  
'Nice to see you too Cap.' Felicia replies, shaking Cap's hand.  
  
'So who's your friend?' She-Hulk asks. 'He's cute!'  
  
'This is Todd.' Felicia replies. 'He's my boyfriend!'  
  
'Nice to see you Todd.' Cap says, holding out his hand. Todd just stares in amazement at the sight of Captain America standing before him.  
  
'He doesn't speak much does he?' The Wasp asks.  
  
As if to illustrate her pint, there is a dull thud as Todd passes out.  
  
'Pff!' Felicia grunts. 'Lightweight!'  
  
END...  
  
NEXT: Peter and Rahne meet the Human Torch, and Dr Doom! 


	19. Flame On!

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 19: Flame On!  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Rahne, Spider-Man, the X-Men and the Human Torch all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- Glad you've got Pyro back! Now he can set fire to Scott! Oh wait; he's already done that! Hee! Enjoy!!  
  
Agent-G- The Quinjet isn't actually a member of the Avengers; it's their version of the X-Jet. I didn't like Jerk of Hearts either! I'll tell you someone else that changes their image a lot, the Wasp! She has a different costume every issue!  
  
Risty- I agree, meeting the Ultimate would be cool, especially the Wasp {Drool...} Why call Pietro gay when you can hit him upside the head or set fire to his socks? Physical violence is much more fun than calling them a pansy!  
  
Quote of the day- 'I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T... I mean, S-M-A-R- T!'- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)  
  
Xavier's School for Gifted Children-  
  
Rahne and Peter are hanging out in the rec room with Sam, MJ and Sam's younger sister Paige. The girls are watching the guys duelling on the PS2.  
  
'So Paige, what exactly is your mutant power?' MJ asks.  
  
'Mister McCoy said that ah was an epidermic metamorph.' Paige replies.  
  
'In English?' MJ asks.  
  
'Ah think that ah'll better show yah.' Paige replies.  
  
Paige then, much to MJ's surprise, starts to tear away the skin from her face, revealing a shiny granite surface underneath.  
  
'Cool huh?' Paige grins.  
  
'In a totally gross way.' MJ replies.  
  
'Can ye change yuir skin tae anything else?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Ah experimented a bit an' the densest form that ah can change to is steel.'  
  
'An' yuir just going tae leave yuir dead skin lyin' around like that?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Jus' watch!' Paige grins.  
  
Rahne and MJ watch as Paige picks up her discarded skin and flings it at Sam. The elder Guthrie lets out a girlish yelp and tries to throw off his sister's dead skin.  
  
'Eew! Getitoffgetitoff!'  
  
The girls and Peter watch in amusement at Sam's comedy dance routine as he dances about trying to get rid of the skin. He finally gets hold of it and throws it in the nearest waste paper basket.  
  
'That was so disgustin' Paige!' Sam winces. 'Ah'm gonna be showerin' for a month!'  
  
Sam shivers in disgust and leaves to take a shower.  
  
MJ gets up from the sofa and dusts off random imaginary crumbs.  
  
'I'm just gonna see what Kitty's up to.'  
  
'I think she's outside wi' Matt.' Rahne replies.  
  
'Ah'm gonna have to go as well.' Paige says. 'Jubilee and Amara promised me that they'd show me around the mall.'  
  
After Paige ahs left that only leaves Rahne and Peter.  
  
'Well it seems that we're the only ones here.' Peter says.  
  
'Aye.' Rahne replies. 'So, Whatta ye wantae do now?'  
  
'Have you ever been to the Baxter Building?' Peter asks.  
  
'Th' home o' th' Fantastic 4?' Rahne asks. 'Nae I havnae ever been there.'  
  
'Well, I just happen to know one of the members.' Peter grins.  
  
Rahne's eyes widen in hope.  
  
'Ye cannae be serious!' She gasps. 'Ye know one o' th' FF?'  
  
'Put on your uniform and I'll meet you up on the roof!' Peter replies.  
  
The roof-  
  
There is a BAMF as Kurt teleports up to the roof with Rahne holding on to him.  
  
'Thanks f'r th' lift, Kurt.' Rahne says. 'I wouldnae be able tae get up here without ye!'  
  
'Think nuzzing of it Rahne.' Kurt replies. 'But how exactly vill you get down?'  
  
'I'm going tae meet Peter up here an' he's going tae swing me over tae th' city.' Rahne replies.  
  
'Have fun zen.' Kurt says before BAMFing away.  
  
Rahne is then left to wait for Peter to appear. She turns around as she hears someone climbing up the wall. Then Peter appears clad in his red and blue Spidey glory.  
  
'Wow!' Rahne grins. 'I can never get over how ye look in yuir Spidey outfit!'  
  
'That cool huh?' Peter grins back.  
  
'An' then some!' Rahne replies.  
  
'You ready to meet the FF?' Peter asks.  
  
'Ready as I'd ever be!' Rahne replies.  
  
Peter then takes Rahne in his arms. There is a 'thwip' and strands of webbing shoot out of Peter's wrists and they're away.  
  
New York-  
  
Rahne lest out a cry of delight as she swings over the Manhattan skyline in Peter's arms.  
  
'Omigosh!' She squeals. 'This is sooo cool!'  
  
Peter then swings up onto a random building and sets Rahne down on the ledge.  
  
'Any idea where we're supposed tae meet them?' Rahne asks.  
  
'I told the Human Torch to meet us up here.' Peter replies. 'He shouldn't be too long.'  
  
Half an hour later, Rahne and Peter are still sat on the ledge.  
  
'I don't get it.' Peter says. 'The Torch was supposed to be here.'  
  
'I suppose that he jus' got held up somewhere.' Rahne replies.  
  
Peter is about to reply when his Spider-Sense goes off.  
  
Rahne notices his pained expression.  
  
'What's th' matter Peter?'  
  
'There's trouble nearby.' Peter replies.  
  
'What makes ye say that?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Well, the giant killer robot down there kinda gave it away!' Peter replies.  
  
'We'd better go beat it then!' Rahne grins.  
  
Peter takes her in his arms and swings down to fight the killer robot.  
  
'It looks like the Transformer convention started early!' Peter grins.  
  
'Destroy!' The robot replies.  
  
'Real eloquent buddy!' Peter replies. 'What about crush and kill?'  
  
'Destroy!' The robot replies.  
  
The robot's hand glows red and a laser beam shoots out. Peter narrowly avoids it, landing on a nearby car.  
  
'Save some f'r me!' Rahne replies, now in her transitional form.  
  
'He's all yours.' Peter replies.  
  
Rahne lets out a growl as she leaps at the robot and slashes at its legs with her claws. The robot tries to reach down to pluck her off but its hand is blasted by a jet of flame. It's the Human Torch!  
  
'Sorry we're late.' The Torch says. 'Ben blocked up the tub!'  
  
'Thanks f'r th' save.' Rahne says. 'That robot almost had me then!'  
  
'He's not beat yet.' The Torch replies. 'What do you guys say to a triple team?'  
  
'Sounds good to me Torchie!' Peter replies.  
  
'Let's kick his metal butt!' Rahne grins.  
  
Then the fight begins again. Rahne distracts the robot while Peter webs it up, leaving Johnny to blasts it with his flames. Fortunately enough, Peter's webbing is very flammable so the robot ignites almost instantly.  
  
'Fire in the hold!' The Torch yells.  
  
Peter takes Rahne up in his arms again and swings to a safe distance. Johnny follows them up to the ledge of a nearby building.  
  
'We make a pretty good team.' The Torch says. 'We'll have to do it again some time!'  
  
'Aye.' Rahne replies. 'I'll take ye up on it.'  
  
'So Peter, this is your new girlfriend, huh? She's cute!'  
  
'Why thank ye!' Rahne blushes. 'Yuir not too bad yuirself!'  
  
'So, you guys doing anything later?' The Torch asks.  
  
'Why d'ya ask buddy?' Peter asks.  
  
'I was wondering whether you guys wanted a tour of the Baxter Building.' The Torch replies.  
  
Rahne's eyes light up at the thought.  
  
'Ye cannae be serious!' Rahne gasps. 'A tour o' th' Baxter Building? I'd love tae!'  
  
Back at Xavier's, later-  
  
Rahne and Peter arrive home from their tour of the Baxter building and find Amara, Jubilee and Paige in the rec room.  
  
'How was your night Furtop?' Jubilee asks.  
  
'We fought a giant robot, met th' Human Torch an' had a tour o' th' Baxter Building.' Rahne replies.  
  
'No way!' Jubilee gasps. 'You met the Human Torch?'  
  
'That is sooo cool!' Amara gasps. 'Did you get his number? Is he single? Is he cute?'  
  
'Nae I didnae get his number.' Rahne replies. 'He is single and he's sooo cute!'  
  
Amara runs up to Rahne and grabs her by the collar.  
  
'You HAVE TO introduce me to him!' She says, wide-eyed with urgency.  
  
Rahne looks nervously at her friend and takes something out from her pocket. 'Here, he gave me a signed picture.'  
  
Amara snatches away the signed picture and holds onto it like a small child with a teddy bear, or Pyro and his lighter.  
  
'Wheee! I've got a signed Human Torch picture!' She squeals. 'You haven't!' She says to Jubilee and Paige. 'Bwahahahaha!' She then sticks out her tongue and skips away to boast about her prize.  
  
'Hey Kitty, have you seen my signed picture of the Human Torch?'  
  
'Like, oh my God!'  
  
Peter cocks a brow and looks at Rahne and the others.  
  
'Jeez, she really needs a boyfriend!'  
  
'She's got one remember?' Rahne says. 'Y'know, Pyro?'  
  
'I guess that'll explain the obsession with fire then.' Peter replies.  
  
END...  
  
NEXT: More Todd and Felicia fluff. In: 'Toads and Cats.' 


	20. Cats and Toads

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 20: Cats and Toads  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Felicia, Todd, the Brotherhood and all other familiar characters belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Anon(girl)- I'm glad that you and Fishy liked the Human Torch appearance, enjoy!  
  
Comixmayday- Thanks for the info; I'll take that into account next time.  
  
Risty- A Torch fangirl, huh? There's someone else for your plus file! How many is it now, three?  
  
Agent-G- Yeah, the Wasp really does change that often. Well, it often seems that way. I did a little Amara/Torch thing in a previous fic but it got deleted.  
  
Quote of the day- 'It's the spiders that make me horny.'- Typhoid Mary (Daredevil #48)  
  
Brotherhood Boarding House-  
  
Todd and Felicia are hanging out in her room. They are both laying on their fronts staring lovingly at each other.  
  
'Licia, can I ask ya somethin?' Todd asks.  
  
'Shoot, Toddy!' Felicia replies.  
  
'Let's get married.' Todd says.  
  
The sudden request momentarily knocks Felicia through a hoop as she stares at Todd with an amazed expression. Then a smile spreads on her face, gradually getting bigger, until she begins to laugh.  
  
'BWAHAHAHAHAA! You can't be serious! Get married? HA! Damn Toddy, you crack me up!'  
  
Todd gets up from the bed and places his hands in his lap.  
  
'I'm sorry ya feel that way, Felicia.' He sighs.  
  
Felicia watches Todd as he walks out of her room. Then she realises that he was serious all along.  
  
'Oh God, Todd wasn't joking!' She groans, holding her head in her hands. 'And now I've broken his heart!'  
  
Todd's room-  
  
Todd grabs a bag from under his bed and begins to throw clothes into it.  
  
'I shoulda known it wouldn'ta lasted.' Todd mutters to himself. 'Felicia's way too good for a freak like me!'  
  
Todd doesn't even look up when Lance walks into his room.  
  
'Hey Todd.' Lance says. 'What's up? You goin' somewhere?'  
  
'For a little while, yo.' Todd replies.  
  
'You wanna talk about it?' Lance asks.  
  
'Not really.' Todd replies.  
  
Lance just shrugs and throws Todd a set of keys.  
  
'Here, have the keys to my jeep. But I want it back in one piece though!'  
  
Todd gratefully pockets the keys and leaves.  
  
'Seeya 'round Lance.' He sighs. 'Say bye to Wanda for me.'  
  
Lance just watches in amazement as Todd slings his pack on his shoulder and walks away.  
  
Later-  
  
Felicia is sat at the kitchen table looking depressed.  
  
'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' She mutters. 'Why did I have to go and do that? I had something special, and I had to go screw it up!'  
  
She then lets out a groan and hits her head on the table.  
  
Typhoid sticks her head around the corner to see what all the fuss is about.  
  
'Hey Felicia, what's all the fuss about?'  
  
'I've ruined it!' Felicia replies. 'I went and screwed it up!'  
  
'Not helping.' Typhoid says. 'I still don't have any idea what you're talking about!'  
  
'Todd.' Felicia replies. 'He asked me to marry him and I laughed in his face!'  
  
Typhoid's face fills with sympathy.  
  
'Why aren't you going after him to explain?' Typhoid asks.  
  
'He took Lance's jeep.' Felicia replies. 'I won't be able to catch him up now!'  
  
'You've got a car. Right?' Typhoid asks. 'The Porsche, go after him!'  
  
Felicia gets up from the table with a determined look on her face.  
  
'Yeah!' She says. 'I'm not going to sit here crying like a silver-haired speedster, I'm gonna go get my man back!'  
  
She then snatches sup her handbag and strolls out of the house. Typhoid is left there with a satisfied look on her face.  
  
'Damn I'm good!'  
  
A random diner, somewhere outside Bayville-  
  
Todd has stopped off on his journey for a quick bite to eat. He nods his head in thanks as the waitress pours him his third cup of coffee. He takes a sip and reminisces about his relationship with Felicia.  
  
{I really thought I had sumthin' special there.} He thinks. {God she was beautiful. Long white-blonde hair, nice body, and a potty-mouth that would make Wolverine blush. Hell, even a habit of beatin' up Pietro! And then she goes and breaks my heart! I shoulda learnt. First Wanda, now Felicia!}  
  
Todd takes another sip of his coffee and a bite of his pie, not seeing the familiar red Porsche pull up outside. Or the familiar girl in leather pants that gets out and walks into the diner.  
  
Felicia steps into the diner and takes a look around. It takes her a moment to see Todd sitting in a booth drinking coffee and eating blueberry pie. She walks upto his booth and sits down.  
  
'Have you got any idea how hard you are to find?' She asks.  
  
Todd looks up from his pie and groans out loud.  
  
'You're not here ta gloat, are ya?' He asks, somewhat bitterly.  
  
'Of course not Todd!' Felicia replies. 'I came here to apologise for making you feel like an idiot!'  
  
'Well, it's a bit late for that now, yo!' Todd snorts.  
  
Felicia takes Todd's hands in hers and looks deep into his eyes.  
  
'Todd, I just want you to know that I am truly and utterly sorry for laughing at you like you did. It's just that... nobody's ever asked me to marry them before.'  
  
'I know 'Licia.' Todd replies. 'It was kinda sudden, wasn't it?'  
  
'A bit.' Felicia replies. She then looks down at Todd's blueberry pie and licks her lips hungrily. 'Y'know, I haven't had anything to eat since I came out searching for you.'  
  
'Here, have it, yo.' Todd replies, pushing the pie dish over to her. 'I didn't want it anyway. I thought that it said Bluebottle pie!'  
  
Felicia chuckles at Todd's joke and tucks into the pie.  
  
'Does that mean that we're cool?' She asks.  
  
'As cool as Iceman in an icebox!' Todd replies.  
  
Several days later-  
  
Todd is blindfolded and is being lead to his room by Felicia. He tries not to knock over anything to valuable as he cautiously walks up the stairs.  
  
'I hope this don't turn out to be kinky Snookums.' He says. 'Cuz I don't really go for that 'getting tied up' kinda thing.'  
  
'Trust me, Toddy.' Felicia replies. 'You're in safe hands. Here, we're in your room now. You can take of your blindfold.'  
  
Todd removes his blindfold and blinks several times in order for his eyes to adjust to the change in lighting. He gasps in amazement at the sight of his room. There are several candles dotted about the room and even some rose petals laid out on the bed. Felicia takes something out from her pocket and drops to one knee. Todd gulps nervously as Felicia begins her speech.  
  
'Todd, I've loved you ever since the first day that I saw you and my feelings have grown through everything that we have been through. From psychotic killer symbiotes to bank thieves with metal arms, I've loved you through them all. So what I'm saying is, Todd Tolensky, will you marry me?'  
  
Todd is monetarily lost for words and it take shim several seconds to find his voice.  
  
'Yes, I will!' He grins with tear-filled eyes. 'Yes, yes, yes!'  
  
Felicia lets out a squeak and grabs Todd in a hug.  
  
'You have made me the happiest girl alive!' She grins. 'Apart from the chick that sells Gambit his underwear!'  
  
'And you've made me the happiest guy alive!' Todd replies, kissing her softly.  
  
Felicia breaks from the hug and begins to bounce up and down excitedly.  
  
'Omigod!' She squeals. 'I haven't got anything planned! I need to choose the maid of honour, the venue, the flowers, the seating arrangements...'  
  
Todd tunes out Felicia's list as he sits down on the bed and watches her pace up and down the room continuing her wedding plans.  
  
'... The catering, the band... Oh! What colour should I wear? White is out of the question! Black? Eew, no! Ooh, ooh! Purple, yeah, I like purple...!'  
  
END... 


	21. HydroMan

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 21: Hydro-Man  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Dedicated to  
Agent-G  
(Thanks for the idea!)  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Risty- Trust you to like the guy that can stretch any part of his body. {Wink, wink.}  
  
Anon(girl)- What kind of chaos have I got planned for the wedding? Heehee! You'll just have to wait and see!  
  
Agent-G- I do have a habit of coming up with random things don't I? Thanks for the idea for this chapter by the way!  
  
Xavier's School for Gifted Children-  
  
Sam Guthrie is hanging out with his girlfriend Mary Jane Watson. Sam's younger sister, Paige, is also there. They're all watching TV. Well, Paige is, Sam and MJ are just making out on the sofa. Paige looks over at her brother and his girlfriend and rolls her eyes.  
  
'Geez you guys, get a room!'  
  
Then Rahne and Peter walk in.  
  
'Hey Paige.' Peter says. 'Have you seen Sam and MJ about?'  
  
'They're over there.' Paige replies. 'Makin' out on th' couch!'  
  
'I guess that they'll be too busy to come out with us on a double date then.' Peter sighs.  
  
'What aboot Kurt an' Wanda?' Rahne asks.  
  
'They're showing TJ around Bayville.' Peter replies.  
  
'Y'know.' Rahne says. 'I still cannae believe that TJ's their daughter, even if she is from an alternate reality!'  
  
'Well after all the stuff we've been through.' Peter replies. 'It's kinda lost its impact.'  
  
'An' who wouldae thought that Todd an' Felicia are getting' married!' Rahne asks.  
  
'What's the matter sweety?' Peter asks. 'You wanna get married too?'  
  
'All in good time laddie, all in good time.'  
  
With that they leave on their date, leaving Paige, Sam and MJ alone.  
  
Paige casts one last look over Sam and MJ and rolls her eyes once more.  
  
'Geez, yah couldn't break those two apart with a crowbar!' She mutters, walking away. 'Ah wonder what Jamie's up to?'  
  
Later-  
  
Sam and MJ have finally stopped making out on the couch and are walking through the streets of Bayville.  
  
MJ lays her head on her boyfriend's shoulder and sighs happily.  
  
'It's such a wonderful night.' She grins. 'It's so romantic!'  
  
'Do yah know what make's it even more perfect?' Sam asks.  
  
'No, what?' MJ replies.  
  
'That ah'm spendin' the night with you.' Sam says.  
  
'Awww.' MJ coos. 'You are so sweet Sam Guthrie! C'mere!'  
  
MJ grabs Sam by the collar and plants smacker on his lips. Sam puts his arms around MJ's waist and returns the kiss.  
  
Unseen by the two lovers, they are being watched. A figure narrows his eyes in anger and ducks into a nearby alley.  
  
'You're mine MJ!' He mutters to himself. 'Mine and mine alone!'  
  
His body then turns to water and floods down into a drain.  
  
Later-  
  
MJ and Sam are still on their date. This time they're walking along with ice cream in their hands. Sam looks over at MJ and notices that she has a spot of ice cream on the tip of her nose.  
  
'Uh, MJ.' Sam says. 'Yah've got ice cream on yah nose.'  
  
'Hmm?' MJ replies.  
  
'Ah'll get it for yah.' Sam replies, leaning in closer and kissing the tip of her nose. MJ giggles at the touch and wipes some of her ice cream on Sam's nose.  
  
'Ah! Cold!' Sam says.  
  
'It's my turn now, tiger!' MJ grins.  
  
She is just about to kiss Sam when he is knocked of his feet by a blast of water.  
  
'Sam!' She yells.  
  
'Worried about yer boyfriend MJ?' A voice asks from behind her.  
  
MJ spins around at the sound of the voice and her jaw drops as she sees who it is.  
  
'Morrie?' She gasps. 'I thought you were dead!'  
  
'Oh I was sweety-Pie!' The guy replies. But Morris Bench is dead, now I'm Hydro-Man!'  
  
'That is the lamest name ever!' MJ yells.  
  
'This coming from the girl dating a guy called Cannonball!' Hydro-Man snickers.  
  
'You leave him alone!' MJ replies.  
  
'I didn't come here for him!' Hydro-Man replies. 'I came here for you!'  
  
Before MJ can run away, she is grabbed up in an enormous watery fist.  
  
'Let me go you monster!' She hisses. 'Or so help me God...'  
  
'Oh what're you gonna do?' Hydro-Man replies. 'You can't hit a guy made out of water!'  
  
MJ realises the futility of her blows as Hydro-Man slithers away with her in his clutches.  
  
Sam sits up groggily in a pile of garbage.  
  
'Anybody get the number of that truck?' He groans. 'MJ, yah there?'  
  
When nobody answers him he jumps up off the ground and looks around urgently. He steps out of the alley and sees a guy made solely out of water slithering along the street with MJ in his hands.  
  
'Okay, ah can do this!' Sam says do himself. 'Ah don't need tah ask the others for help! Oh God, what am I gonna do?'  
  
Later-  
  
MJ now finds herself in Hydro-Man's lair, a disused warehouse on a construction site. Her lower body is encased in a block of ice, preventing her from escaping.  
  
'This is so old.' MJ groans. 'Being the damsel in distress? Please!'  
  
'What can I say, sweety?' Hydro-Man replies. 'I'm a sucker for the classics!'  
  
'You're certainly something.' MJ says. 'It's not a sucker, sounds like it though!'  
  
'I see you're as feisty as ever!' Hydro-Man replies, stroking her cheek. Mj sneers at his touch and turns away.  
  
'So what are you going to do with me?' She asks. 'Keep me frozen like some kind of human Popsicle?'  
  
'That's precisely what I'm going to do!' Hydro-Man replies. 'I'm going to keep you here to make sure that you'll be mine!'  
  
'That's what you think buddy!' A voice says from above them.  
  
MJ and Hydro-Man both look up at the ceiling and see Sam standing on a rafter in his New recruit uniform.  
  
'Sam!' MJ squeals.  
  
'NO!!' Hydro-Man yells. 'MJ's mine!!'  
  
Hydro-Man lashes out with one of his hand, trying to drown Sam but he blasts out of the way. Hydro-Man extends his body so that he can take another grab at Sam.  
  
'Ha! Got you short stuff!' Hydro-Man grins.  
  
'Ah don't think so!' Sam replies, blasting out of Hydro-Man grip.  
  
'Uh Sam, a little help here please.' MJ asks. 'I'd like to get free sometime today.'  
  
'I'll be raght... ulp!'  
  
Hydro-Man grabs Sam once more and throws him through the air. Sam luckily collides with MJ's ice block, shattering it and setting her free. He shakes the muzziness out of his head ands blasts up into the air again. Unfortunately, Hydro-man solidifies his fist and smacks Sam across the room with it.  
  
'Sam, no!' MJ yells.  
  
'Well it looks like your boyfriend's out for the count now MJ!' Hydro-Man taunts. 'And now you're all mine!'  
  
'I'm not exactly defenceless myself you know!' MJ says.  
  
'Oh please!' Hydro-Man replies. 'What can you do to hurt me?'  
  
This!' MJ replies, picking up a brick and hurling it through the air. Hydro- Man watches the brick sail through the air over his head and hit the control panel on a cement mixer.  
  
'Oh no!'  
  
Oh yes, cement pours out of the machine, onto the watery villain.  
  
'You'll pay for this MJ!' Hydro-Man yells. 'Mark my words you'll pa...'  
  
Hydro-Man is cut off as the cement mixes with his watery body, turning him into a concrete statue.  
  
MJ runs over to check up on Sam.  
  
'Sam, are you alright?' She asks, helping him up.  
  
'Ah've never felt better.' Sam replies. 'Is Hydro-Man gone?'  
  
'I turned him into a lawn ornament.' MJ replies.  
  
'Good.' Sam replies. 'Let's go home, ah want ta get outta these wet clothes before ah catch a cold!'  
  
Meanwhile, in the Maximum security prison known as the vault-  
  
Doctor Otto Octavius, better known to the general public as Dr Octopus, minus his robotic arms of course, is lying on the cot in his cell. He sits up as he feels something fall into his lap. He picks it up; it's a gasmask with a note attached. It reads 'Put this on, N.O.'  
  
Octavius shrugs and does as he is told. No sooner has he done so then his cell and the surrounding corridors are pumped full of knockout gas. The guards outside his door fall unconscious. Then, out through the fog of gas, Octavius sees his robotic arms walking towards his cell. They smash through the wall and reattach themselves to him.  
  
'Dr Octopus lives!' He yells. 'I don't know who released you my pet but I will find out!'  
  
With no further ado, Octavius uses his robotic arms to smash through the wall to his cell and escape into the night.  
  
TBC...  
  
Who is this mysterious benefactor that broke Dr Octopus out of jail? What is so important about the initials 'N.O?' It isn't all that difficult to find out, trust me. All will be made clear soon!  
  
NEXT: Punishment! 


	22. Punishment

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 22: Punishment  
  
By  
The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any familiar characters, they all belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Ldypebsaby- Dammit! I guess that clue was a little too obvious. Will someone crash the wedding? Well, you'll just have to wait and see.  
  
Anon(girl)- I trust that Pyro is nice and comfy gagged and duct taped in his chair? And another thing, how does he go for a pee? You don't just let him go on the chair do you?  
  
Emerald Knight1- Gee, I wonder who you mean by 'black-clad vigilante?' Ghost Rider? Hee!  
  
Risty- Yeah, I like Sam but I thought that it would be more fun if MJ saved the day.  
  
Agent-G- Your help is always appreciated. I thought that the fight scene was a little short though. But never mind, as long as you liked it.  
  
Brooklyn-  
  
A random thug is running for his life through the streets of Brooklyn. Why is he so spooked you ask? Well, he's being chased by a big guy wearing a black bodysuit with a skull emblazoned on the chest. Oh yeah, it's the Punisher baby! The thug ducks into an alley but find himself blocked off by a chain-link fence. He runs up and climbs the fence. The Punisher isn't far behind him. The thug drops down from the top of the fence and runs off again. The Punisher drops down and follows him. The thug runs into some incoming traffic, narrowly avoiding being run over. He heads towards a subway station. The Punisher leaps onto the hood of a car and chases after him. The thug enters the subway station, leaps the barricade and loses himself in the crowd. He makes his way to where several people are waiting for a train. He looks back and breaths a sighs of relief as there is no sign of the Punisher. Then he turns as he sees the light of an approaching train. Then he realises that there is someone standing next to him, being illuminated by the train's headlights, it's the Punisher! The Punisher grabs the thug by the collar and pushes him towards the edge.  
  
'No way man!' The thug begs. 'Have some mercy! Please!'  
  
The Punisher's face stays neutral as he pushes the thug into the path of the approaching train.  
  
'You dirty rotten basta... SPLAT!'  
  
Xavier's School for Gifted Children: The next morning-  
  
Peter, Rahne, Kurt, Wanda, TJ, Sam, MJ and Paige are sitting in the rec room watching TV. They're watching a news broadcast about the rather squishy-looking death of the thug.  
  
'What a way to go.' Amara winces. 'Getting squished underneath a train.'  
  
'What kind of psycho would do such a thing?' MJ asks.  
  
'Have you guys ever heard of the Punisher?' TJ asks.  
  
'Is he ze guy zat runs around Brooklyn in a skull shirt killing drug dealers and stuff?' Kurt asks.  
  
'Bingo!' TJ replies. 'We've got ourselves a vigilante!'  
  
'You guys realise that we have to stop this guy.' Peter says.  
  
'But he's making Brooklyn a better place, right?' Wanda asks. 'Less drug dealers and stuff means less kids getting hooked on drugs.'  
  
'How can ye say such a thing, Wanda?' Rahne asks. 'Th' man's a killer. Ye cannae jus' go around killin' people, even if they are drug dealers.'  
  
'Am I the only one that thinks this?' Wanda asks.  
  
'Ah agree with yah.' Paige replies. 'Ah think that this Punisher guy's a good thing.'  
  
'Paige Elizabeth Guthrie!' Sam gasps. 'If Mom could hear yah now!'  
  
'Mom ain't here right now, is she?' Paige replies. 'Heck, look at it this way, at least there'd be one less drug dealer sellin' kids drugs. Yah not defendin' him are yah?'  
  
'Of course ah'm not!' Sam replies, disgusted at the notion. 'There's nuthin' worse than sellin' kids drugs, but there's no need tah go killin' the guys that sell 'em, that's why we have prisons.'  
  
Peter decides to step in before an argument starts.  
  
'Okay guys.' He says. 'Which of you guys are with me, who thinks that this Punisher guy should be stopped?'  
  
Rahne, Sam, MJ and Kurt hold up their hands.  
  
'Kurt!' Wanda says. 'What's wrong with you?'  
  
'I love you, liebe.' Kurt replies. 'But killing is wrong.'  
  
'If you feel that way then, fine.' Wanda sighs. 'I won't stop you.'  
  
'If that's all settled then.' Peter says. 'We're gonna go out tonight and stop this guy from killing again.'  
  
Peter and the others leave the room to get ready, leaving Wanda and everybody else in the rec room.  
  
Later that night-  
  
Peter, Rahne and co are all in their uniforms patrolling the streets of Brooklyn. They decided to keep to the back alleys, as that seems to be where all of the killings happen and it would reduce the chance of civilians panicking.  
  
'How are we going to find this guy?' MJ asks. 'Just walk up to someone and say, 'Hey, are you a drug dealer?'  
  
'Can ye quiet down a bit, please?' Rahne asks. 'I'm trying tae see if I c'n pinpoint any unusual scents.'  
  
'My spider-sense's pretty quiet too.' Peter adds. 'Who would've thought that finding a drug dealer would be this difficult.'  
  
'What about that guy?' Sam asks, pointing to a guy running towards them.  
  
'What makes ye say that Sammy?' Rahne asks.  
  
'Well I'd say zat he's running like is life depends on it.' Kurt replies. 'Well, zat and ze fact zat he's being chased by a guy viz a skull on his chest.'  
  
'That'd do it.' Peter says. 'C'mon guys, let's go!'  
  
Everybody leaps into action. Peter webs the drug dealer's feet, making him fall flat on his face while Rahne changes to her wolf form and tackles the Punisher.  
  
'Nice doggie.' The Punisher grunts as he ducks out Wolfsbane's path. There is a bamf and a smell of sulphur as Kurt teleports behind the Punisher and snatches away his gun.  
  
'I'll take zat if you don't mind, mein herr.' Kurt says.  
  
'What do you kids think you're doing?' The Punisher asks furiously. 'You haven't got any business interfering in my work!'  
  
'It became our business when you pushed that guy in front of a train.' MJ replies. 'Yeah sure, he was scum but that doesn't mean that he deserved to die.'  
  
'They all deserve to die.' The Punisher spits. 'Every last one of the scumbags!'  
  
'We know why you hate them.' Peter says, webbing him to a wall. 'We know all about you, Frank Castle. Lieutenant Frank Castle, formerly of the US Marines. Your wife and kids were killed in a botched mob hit, weren't they? That still doesn't justify you killing them.'  
  
'All this bonding is well and good.' The Punisher says. 'But the scumbag's getting away.'  
  
'That's what he thinks.' Rahne replies, as she chases after the drug dealer hopping away. She tackles him to the floor and hits him upside the head, knocking him unconscious.  
  
'Well I call this a good night's work.' Peter says. 'We bagged ourselves two bad guys in one night. Good work team.'  
  
'You're all nuts!' The Punisher yells from the wall. 'So what if you bagged the scumbag, there's still more out there!'  
  
'That's why we have the police.' MJ replies. 'They don't go around shooting bad guys or pushing them in front of moving trains.'  
  
'Everybody then turns their backs and leaves the Punisher and the scumbag for the police to take away.  
  
Rahne gets a thoughtful look on her face.  
  
'Peter.' She says. 'Do ye think that he's right, the Punisher I mean? What is the only way tae stop these drug dealers is tae waste every single one of them.'  
  
'I'm surprised that you even asked that Rahne.' Peter replies. 'Surely a religious person like yourself knows their Ten Commandments, 'Thou shalt not kill', remember?'  
  
That little titbit doesn't do much to stop Rahne's thoughts.  
  
Elsewhere-  
  
It's a quiet night in the SHIELD holding cells. The inmates have settled down for the night and the guards have an easy job ahead of them. That's what they think!  
  
One guard stops outside the cell of Flint Marko, aka the Sandman. The Sandman won't be causing any trouble as he's been turned to glass and can't move. Wrong again!  
  
The guard stops midstep as he hears alarms blaring.  
  
'What the...'  
  
The guard goes for his gun as another guard is sent flying down the corridor by a jolt of electricity.  
  
'It's sure nice to get out of that stuffy cell.' Electro says. 'Now to have a little fun!'  
  
Electro is about try fry the guard when a mechanical tentacle grabs his hand, preventing him from doing so.  
  
'Remember what our orders were, Electro.' Dr Octopus says. 'We're here to recruit the Sandman, nothing else.'  
  
'Awww.' Electro pouts. 'Can't I fry another guard?'  
  
'That's hardly fair, is it?' Doc Ock replies. 'Look at him, he's shaking in his boots.' Besides, I haven't had a go yet!'  
  
Electro watches as an evil smile spreads on Dr Octopus's face. A mechanical arm swings out and grabs the guard by the front. Another quick swing and the guard has been used as a human battering ram to knock down the door to the Sandman's cell. Octopus drops the guards' limp body and steps into the cell.  
  
'How the Hell's this block of glass gonna help us, Ock?' Electro asks. 'It's not as if he'll be much use to us like this.'  
  
'Oh ye of little faith.' Ock replies with a smug smile.  
  
Ock takes out a complicated-looking doo-hickey and places it one the Sandman's glass body. He presses a button and there is flash of light. Standing in the place of the glass statue is the Sandman in all his sandy glory!  
  
'Flint Marko.' Octopus says. 'We're here to make you an offer.'  
  
'Yeah, yeah.' The sandman replies nonchalantly. 'I'll do whatever yer want, just as long as I get another shot at that mutie witch what froze me!'  
  
'I trust that we will be firm friends.' Octopus grins, one of his mechanical arms patting the Sandman on the back.  
  
'So who's next on our list, Doc?' Electro asks.  
  
'Surely you've figured that out for yourself.' Ock replies. 'Adrian Toomes, Quentin Beck and...'  
  
'Oh no, not him!' Electro winces.  
  
'Oh yes.' Octopus replies. 'Him!'  
  
TBC...  
  
What has Doc Ock got planned for the sixth member of their group? Will Spidey and co find out before it's too late? Why can't I buy chocolate Hobnobs any more? Find out next time in: The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man!  
  
NEXT: Todd and Felicia are busy planning their wedding. It should go off without a hitch, that's if on old 'friend' of Felicia's doesn't spoil the fun. Who's this 'friend?' The Scorpion! 


	23. Pinchy

The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man  
Part 23: Pinchy  
  
By The Uncanny R-Man  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel.  
  
Shout Outs-  
  
Pauloj1983- I'm sorry, no Paige/Jamie planned for future chapters I'm afraid.  
  
AnthonyR- I'm glad you like it. Enjoy the chappie.  
  
AnonGirl88- Cool name. I'm glad that Pyro gets potty breaks; it would get a little messy other wise wouldn't it?  
  
Agent-G- I'm not going to tell who the sixth member of the Sinister Six is but I will give you a clue, he has already appeared in this fic. I beleive that the last time that the Scorpion appeared in the comics was in an issue of Peter Parker: Spider-Man.  
  
The Brotherhood Boarding House-  
  
Felicia is sitting in the kitchen discussing her wedding plans (again!) with Wanda, her maid of honour, Crystal and Typhoid Mary.  
  
'Read me back the list again Wanda.' Felicia says. 'I just want to make sure that we've got everything correct.'  
  
'We've gone through the list three times already.' Wanda groans. 'Can't you just take my word that everything is written down?'  
  
'No.' Felicia replies matter-of-factly. 'We can slack off on the wedding plans when you get married, not on my special day!'  
  
'You'd better watch your mouth Felicia.' Wanda says, the lightbulb above their head flickering dangerously showing her anger. 'Just because you're marrying Todd, it doesn't mean that I won't hex you for that.'  
  
'You couldn't hex me if your life depended on it.' Felicia replies.  
  
That's it; the lightbulb pops as Wanda tries to hex Felicia. Fortunately, Crystal is there to stop her from doing anything hasty.  
  
'Calm down Wanda.' She says. 'Let's not go hexing the bride before she even gets to the ceremony.'  
  
'I'm sorry.' Wanda sighs. 'It's just... all this talk of marriage is giving me a headache.'  
  
'That's cool.' Felicia says. 'I suppose that I was a little hyper about the whole thing.'  
  
'Why don't we all take a break?' Crystal asks. 'Get away from the wedding plans, y'know?'  
  
'Sounds alright with me.' Felicia says. 'I'll go see what Todd's up to.'  
  
'I'll just pop over to Xavier's to check up on Kurt and TJ.'  
  
As the bride (no, not the sword-wielding one form Kill Bill) and maid of honour leave, that just leaves Crystal and Typhoid sitting at the table alone.  
  
'I think that I'll go harass Lance.' Typhoid says, getting up from the table.  
  
'You mean that you're going to go seduce him.' Crystal replies.  
  
'Same thing as far as I'm concerned.' Typhoid shrugs.  
  
Later-  
  
Todd and Felicia are now sitting in a random café.  
  
'So Toddy.' Felicia says. 'Any idea who your best man's gonna be?'  
  
'I thought that this day out was supposed to be a break from all that talk of wedding stuff, Baby Cakes.' Todd replies.  
  
'You haven't even decided yet have you?' Felicia sighs.  
  
'I've managed to narrow it down to Lance, Fred and Pietro.'  
  
'Are you sure it's wise to have Pietro as a best man?' Felicia asks. 'He'll only try to hit on one of the bridesmaids.'  
  
'He'd still do that if he wasn't my best man, yo.' Todd replies.  
  
'Point.' Felicia shrugs.  
  
Felicia is about to take a sip of her coffee when she gets a tingling sensation on the back of her neck.  
  
'Todd, get down!'  
  
She grabs Todd and dives for cover, just as a car comes flying through the café window, smashing up half the café.  
  
After the dust has steeled, Todd and Felicia peer out from behind an upturned table. They see a man in a green bodysuit with a large backpack and a tail. The tail snaps out and grabs another car and throws it across the street. The car lands on a fire hydrant, sending water shooting up into the air.  
  
'Oh God, why him?' Felicia groans. 'Why now of all times?'  
  
'D'you know this guy 'Licia?' Todd asks.  
  
'I should think so.' Felicia replies. 'He's my ex-boyfriend!'  
  
Outside-  
  
The guy in the green suit, the Scorpion, is still smashing up random stuff. A police car pulls up and several police officers step out.  
  
'Put the mail box down or we will be forced to shoot.'  
  
'Okay.' The Scorpion replies. 'I'll put it down, how's this?'  
  
The Scorpion whips his tail and throws the mailbox at the police officers. They manage to dive out of the way as the mailbox lands on their squad car, leaving a big meaty dent. The officers get up off the floor and open fire. The Scorpion just stands there and looks bored. He holds his hand upto his mouth and yawns. He whips his tail around once more and sends the police officers sailing into a brick wall. He is about to pick up a hotdog stand when he is hit in the eyes with some stinky green goo.  
  
'Sunnuva...' He yells, dropping the hotdog stand. 'I'll get you for that, whoever threw this crap at me!'  
  
'Not is we have anything to do with it!' Felicia replies, jumping down, now clad in her leather (ahem) catsuit, which she conveniently had stashed in her bag.  
  
'Felicia?' The Scorpion says, wiping the last of the goo from his eyes. 'Is that you?'  
  
'Yeah it's me, Mac.' Felicia replies.  
  
'Felicia, baby doll.' The Scorpion says. 'I've been looking all over the place for you.'  
  
'Too bad.' Felicia replies. 'I'm not going back with you.'  
  
'WHAT?' The Scorpion yells. 'You have to come back with me! You're my girl!'  
  
'I'm no-one's girl Mac.' Felicia replies. 'Least of all yours!'  
  
'Pity.' The Scorpion sighs. 'Oh well, I suppose that I'll have to teach you the error of your ways.'  
  
The Scorpion is about to whack Felicia with his tail when he feels somebody jump onto his back.  
  
'What the Hell?'  
  
'Hi.' Todd, now also clad in his B-Hood uniform, says. 'Mind if I cut in?'  
  
'Get the Hell off me!' The Scorpion yells, trying to swipe Todd off his back. Todd leaps off his back, rebounds off the wall and kicks the Scorpion in the face.  
  
'Don't tell me this mutie freak is your new boyfriend.' The Scorpion says. 'Jeez Felicia, talk about aiming low.'  
  
'That isn't aiming low.' Felicia replies. 'This is!'  
  
Todd winces as Felicia gives the Scorpion a meaty kick to the groin.  
  
'That wasn't... nnn... fair dammit!' The Scorpion groans.  
  
'Oh and Mac, he isn't my boyfriend, he's my fiancé!'  
  
With the pain in his groin momentarily forgotten, the Scorpion bristles in anger.  
  
'WHAT?'  
  
'I said that he's my fiancé dumbass.' Felicia replies.  
  
'B-but why, he's...'  
  
'Got a nine-inch tongue.' Felicia finishes. 'Need I say more?'  
  
The Scorpion lets out a roar of anger and smashes up a nearby car.  
  
'Now there wasn't any need for that, was there, yo?' Todd asks. 'What did that poor defenceless car ever do to you?'  
  
'SHUT UP!' The Scorpion yells. 'I'm gonna rip out your spine and beat you over the head with it.'  
  
'You won't be the first one to try, Pinchy.' Todd replies.  
  
'I'M THE SCORPION!' The uh... Scorpion yells. 'STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!'  
  
Todd and Felicia dodge out of the way as the Scorpion's tail whips about wildly.  
  
'Looks to me like he's tryin' to compensate for something, Snookums.' Todd says.  
  
'And how.' Felicia adds.  
  
'I'LL CRUSH YOU!'  
  
'Oh shut up you big baby.' Felicia sighs as she rips out some wires from a lamppost. She then jams them into the Scorpion's backpack, shorting out his tail mechanisms.  
  
'Dammit no!' He yells. 'You'll pay for that!'  
  
'Keep the change.' Todd replies, whomping the Scorpion on the head with a trashcan lid. The Scorpion lets out a grunt before falling to the floor unconscious.  
  
'Well that was fun.' Todd says, throwing the trashcan lid over his shoulder. 'But we can't leave this tail on the guy, it could be dangerous.'  
  
'Here you go.' Felicia replies, handing Todd a shard of glass.  
  
'Thanks Baby Cakes.' Todd says as he takes the shard of glass and begins to saw through the Scorpion's tail. 'You sure do have the most interestin' friends though. Whatever next, your sister doesn't happen to be the Invisible Woman does she?'  
  
'I wish.' Felicia replies. 'Then I could sponge money off her.'  
  
Later-  
  
A random squad of cops turn up and see the Scorpion tied to a lamppost.  
  
'D-don't look at me.' The groggy Scorpion says. 'Don't look at me without my tail...'  
  
The cops struggle to hold in their laughter at the sight of a pitifully wailing Scorpion.  
  
'DON'T LOOK AT MEEEE...'  
  
Brooklyn, meanwhile-  
  
In an abandoned apartment block, someone is plotting revenge. This someone is buff and has short-cropped blonde hair. He is presently pressing weights.  
  
'We will get our revenge.' He says with every weight he presses. 'We will get our revenge. We will get our revenge...'  
  
His bench pressing I interrupted as he hears something outside. He puts down the weights and sits up on the bench. Much to his surprise, the wall to his apartment is smashed in. Once the dust has settled he sees several figures enter. One has four metallic tentacles strapped to his back. Another seems to be levitating on static electricity. One seems to be made completely out of sand. Another has what seems to be a goldfish bowl on his head while the last one is an old guy with wings.  
  
'You will pay for disturbing our peace.' The guy hisses as a black liquid seeps out of his pores and over his body. 'Nobody disturbs Venom!'  
  
'Please, Mister Brock.' The one with the tentacles says. 'We mean you no harm, we merely wish to make you an offer.'  
  
'We know you.' Venom says. 'You're the Octopus. And the Sandman. Electro, the Vulture and Mysterio too.'  
  
'Looks like yer did yer homework buddy.' The Sandman replies. 'So are yer gonna join us or not?'  
  
'Only if we get the Spider to ourselves.' Venom replies. 'WE are going to sup the marrow from his bones.'  
  
'Nice.' Electro winces.  
  
'Very well.' Dr Octopus says. 'We just need to make one more stop and then we will be ready for our revenge.'  
  
'We still need a name though.' The Vulture says.  
  
'You got any ideas old man?' The Sandman asks.  
  
'The Revenge Squad?' He replies.  
  
'That's a terrible idea.' Mysterio replies.  
  
'This coming from the guy with a goldfish bowl on his head.' Electro snorts.  
  
'We wish to call ourselves... The Sinister Six!' Venom adds.  
  
'Hmm, good idea.' Dr Octopus replies, stroking his chin in thought. 'Good thinking, 'The Sinister Six.' I like that, it has a certain ring to it, don't you think?'  
  
'Better than the 'Revenge Squad.' Electro snorts.  
  
'You watch your mouth.' The Vulture replies. 'I was leading a life of crime before you zapped your first lightbulb.'  
  
'Oh go lay an egg you old coot.' Electro sighs.  
  
TBC...  
  
NEXT: What do you get when you cross a bored God of Mischief and three deadly killer robots? The Tri-Sentinel, that's what! Find out what the hell is going on in: 'The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man: Three Times the Fun...' 


	24. Three Times the Fun

**The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man**

**Chapter 24: Three Times the Fun**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel._

_Shout Outs-_

_Carack- I'm sorry that you were disappointed with the Punisher chapter. If it helps, I wasn't all that pleased with the outcome either._

_Anonymous- Sorry, no plans for Firestar I'm afraid._

_AnonGirl88- he, Pyro has no chance of escape now that Fishy's guarding him._

_Risty- Gratuitous groin shots are awfully fun, aren't they? Well, not from the point of view of the guy that's receiving them though. Heh._

_Agent-G- Sorry but no, Scorpy isn't the last member of the Sinister Six, Venom is. Yup, it's Spidey's turn now._

* * *

_Notes- I'm sorry about the delay in updating, Ive been on holiday y'see but I'm back and raring to get ficcing again._ _So, here we go..._

* * *

**The Rainbow Bridge, Asgard-**

Loki, the Norse God of Evil, or Mischief, as he will be known through the duration of this chapter, was brooding over his latest defeat at the hands of his stepbrother, Thor, the God of Thunder.

'I doth not even know why I doest bother.' Loki muttered. 'My accursed stepbrother doth halt me at every turn. Perhaps it is time for me to seek out some new opponents.'

Loki waved a hand in front of him and a magical viewing portal appeared. Loki peered into the portal and watched several brightly coloured figures fighting a giant robot. _(For those of you keeping score at home, Loki is watching the events of 'Day of Reckoning' as the X-men and the Brotherhood fight the Sentinel.) _

'Hmm, these mortals doth look like most worthy adversaries. Perhaps it is time for me to pay Midgard a visit.'

And with that, Loki waved his arms and disappeared with a 'Bamf!'

* * *

**Xavier's-**

Peter, Rahne, MT and Sam were hanging out in the kitchen. Just recently, Sam had started to become a big fan of fantasy role-playing games. This new obsession soon made him the butt of many jokes. Ray even went as far as to call him 'Dungeon Master.'

'I dinnae even see what we havtae play this game with ye.' Rahne sighed. 'There isnae even a werewolf in the game. That's lycanthropist.'

'You're just saying that because you suck at this.' Pete kind-heartedly teased.

'So says the guy that's an injured dwarf with the magical power of a doily.' MJ replied with a grin.

Pete just stuck his tongue out at his childhood friend.

'Can yah jus' roll the thing?' Sam asked. 'This game isn't to be taken lightly.'

'As you wish... Dungeon Master.' MJ replied.

Sam just ignored his girlfriend's teasing and watched as peter threw the dice.

'That's a five for me.' He said as he picked up his playing piece and moved the respective amount of spaces.

'Aha!' Rahne said with a huge grin on her face. 'I use m' fire spell on ye, reducing' yuir hit points by five.'

'Nu-uh.' Peter replied. 'I've got an anti-fire spell that counteracts yours, therefore making it useless.'

'Not if I use my time wrap amulet.' MJ added. 'Which now reduces your hit points by a further eight.'

'Aww crap.' Peter muttered. 'I'm out of the game.'

'I'm afraid that I havtae drop out too.' Rahne added. 'I jus' cannae get intae this game.'

'Why give up, Furtop?' MJ asked. 'You're winning.'

'Ah'm gonna have tah go as well.' Sam added. 'Ah promised Mister McCoy that ah'd help him in his lab.'

'Well I guess the game's over.' MJ said. 'Shame though, as much as it would ruin my rep to admit it, I kinda enjoyed myself.'

Everybody got up off their seats and helped Sam pack away all the game pieces and cards. They were just about to leave when Paige ran into the room.

'You'd better come see what's on the TV guys.' She said, panting heavily. 'There's trouble downtown!'

* * *

**A Top-Secret SHIELD Military Base, an hour or so earlier-**

All was quiet in the miscellaneous military base. The guards on duty were almost asleep because of the lack of activity. What the guards didn't know that they had an uninvited visitor in the form of Loki, the God of Mischief! Shielded from sight due to an invisibility spell, Loki easily sneaked past the guards.

_{Hmm, I doth wonder where yon mortals doth keep those metal giants.} _Loki thought to himself. _{Aha, this must be it. Sentinel Bay. Yon signs are most useful. Although, I didst think that such monstrosities were no longer made. I matters not, all this is insignificant to my plan.}_

Loki sneaked into the Sentinel Bay and took a look around.

{Yon machines are most impressive, for mere mortals.} 

Loki waved his hands again and the three Sentinels standing before him began to glow. Soon, they started to merge into one, becoming a three-headed, six-armed monster.

_{I couldst only imagine what fun I couldst use these for.}_ Loki thought. 'Now, fly my pretties, off to Bayville you doth go!'

With another wave of his hands, Loki magically activated the Tri-Sentinel and flew out of the hangar, smashing through the roof as it went. The guards on duty ran into the hangar to see what caused the din. All they could do was look up into the sky as the Trio-Sentinel flew off into the night.

'Fury's gonna have our butts for this one.' One guard groaned.

* * *

**Downtown Bayville, now-**

Peter, Rahne and Sam were all suited up. MJ had elected to stay back at the mansion as she was a regular human and wouldn't have been much help against three giant killer robots. They were also joined by TJ, Wanda and Kurt.

'Well this is new.' Peter said. 'I've never had to fight a three-headed robot before.'

'We're old hands at this, Peter.' Wanda replied. 'We've fought one of these before, it was one of the hardest fight of my life.'

'One?' Pete asked. 'You guys barely beat one of these things? How're we gonna beat three?'

'Ve'll try, Peter. Kurt replied. 'Zhat's vhat being and X-men is all about.'

No sooner had TJ said that then the Tri-Sentinel turned all three of its heads towards them.

'One of these days I'm gonna learn to keep my mouth shut.' Peter muttered.

'These things shouldn't be so hard to beat.' TJ said. 'Back home, it seemed like we were fighting gangs of these every other week, they were a dime a dozen.'

'All this fighting is well an' good.' Rahne added. 'But we're nae closer tae beatin' it.'

'I was kinda thinking of hitting it 'til it fell down.' Peter replied as he webbed one of the robot's hands, as it was about to blast him.

'Sounds good to me.' Kurt replied. 'What about you uzzer guys?'

'I thought we were doing that already.' Wanda replied as she hexed another of the robot's hands.

'Point.' Kurt shrugged as he teleported out of the way of a giant foot.

And so the battle continued as the heroes carried on with their seemingly fruitless attempts at hexing, slashing or webbing with all they had.

Unseen by the gang of mutants, Loki was watching them from high atop a building.

'Yon heroes doth battle well.' Loki said to himself. 'Mayhap yon metal monstrosity was too easy a test for them.'

Loki continued to watch the action as it unfolded. Just when it appeared that the Tri-sentinel had crushed the Scarlet Witch with a giant foot, said food was blown apart by a colossal hex bolt. Seeing the first sign of weakness, the others piled onto it and mounted a fierce attack. TJ followed suit as she blasted the Tri-Sentinel in the knee with a hex bolt of her own, Rahne slashed at it's foot with her claws, Peter webbed its legs together and held them taught while Sam flew towards it, knocking it over.

Our heroes watched as the Tri-Sentinel tried to compensate for its loss of one limb and the simultaneous attacks from the gang of mutants as it tottered over before falling to the ground with a colossal boom. Before it could even regain its footing, Wanda and TJ both blasted all three of its faces with simultaneous hex bolts, turning them to slag.

'Vell zat vas deceptively easy.' Kurt said as he dusted himself off.

'Yeah.' Sam replied. 'Ah was kinda hopin' that the fight had lasted longer.'

'Look at it this way guys.' Peter replied. 'With no more Tri-Sentinel, we can all go back to the mansion and watch TV.'

'Besides.' TJ added. 'I think Wanda has something to tell everyone.'

'Care to tell us now, liebe?' Kurt asked.

'I'd rather tell you later.' Wanda replied. 'I'm tired and I want to have a rest, I've been feeling kinda of weird these past few days.'

The others just let that go, assuming that it was merely a case of the flu. Above their heads, Loki stomped his foot like a petulant child.

'Curses! These mortals will rue the day that they didst cross Loki, the God of Evil! **BWAHAHAHAHAAA!**'

And with that, Loki disappeared with another 'Bamf!'

_END..._

_Next: It's time for beer, strippers and... more beer as Todd and Felicia have their bachelor and bachelorette parties._


	25. The Bachelorette Party

**The Insey-Winsey Spider-Man**

**Chapter 25: The Bachelorette Party**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_Disclaimer- I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

_Shout Outs-_

_Needles- Sorry, no plans for Emma Frost in this story, I'm trying to keep it to Spidey-related guest stars. _

_Red Jeanie- Yup, you can bet that Doc Ock and co are up to something big._

_Witch-Uk- Hooray! My 100th review! Here, have a cookie! Check out '_Wanda and Fuzzy' _for details as to Wanda's revelation._

_Risty- I based that role-play bit form an episode of Buffy. _'Chosen'_ I think it was._

_AnonGirl88- Oh dear, Pyro and a new lighter? Not good. Check out _'Wanda andFuzzy'_ for Wanda's revelation._

_Spawn guy- I guess that Spidey revealed his identity to the X-Men because he wanted their help._

_Ldypebsaby- Oh yeah, you can bet that the Bachelorette party's gonna be fun!_

_Agent-G- Don't worry, Loki will be back to get his revenge, I've got an idea as to how but I'm not gonna tell. _

* * *

**The Brotherhood Boarding House-**

The Brotherhood Boarding House was a hive of activity as people went about their business. It was the night of Todd and Felicia's bachelor and bachelorette parties respectively. Wanda (the maid of honour) was rushing about making last-minute preparations. Well, she was rushing as best as she could in her condition. Lance (the best man) however, was just lounging on the sofa.

Wanda finished her call on the phone and looked at him.

'Aren't you going to get ready?' She asked. 'The other guys'll be here soon.'

'It's not like we're going to go out.' Lance replied. 'We're just going to stay in and watch a few movies.'

'You remember what Felicia said about any strippers, right?' Wanda asked.

'Yes.' Lance sighed. 'If she finds even one thong anywhere, I'm as dead as Pietro's masculinity. If we're not allowed a stripper, how come you can go see one?'

'Who said anything about one?' Typhoid replied as she finished putting on her makeup.

'Welcome to the Twenty-first Century.' Wanda smirked as she went to go search for the bride-to-be.

'Damn feminists.' Lance muttered.

'Typhoid?' Wanda called from the stairs.

Typhoid waved her hand and a book flew across the room, hitting Lance upside the head.

'Dammit, ow! That was uncalled for, I thought you only did that kind of stuff to Pietro.'

'You gotta be cruel to be kind, baby.' Typhoid replied with a smirk.

'So you actually like Pietro?' Lance asked.

'Naah.' Typhoid replied. 'That's just pure malice.'

Wanda then came back down with Felicia and Crystal in tow.

'You nearly ready, Typhoid?' Wanda asked. 'It's almost time to go.'

'Just give me a sec.' Typhoid replied as she checked herself in the mirror once more. 'Yup, I'm ready.'

'Enjoy your night, baby cakes.' Todd replied as he came hopping down the stairs after the girls.

'Don't wait up.' Felicia replied as she kissed him on the cheek.

Once they had gone, Todd joined Lance on the couch.

'When's the stripper comin', yo?'

'You remember what Felicia threatened to do if we got one, right?' Lance asked.

'That still don't mean that we can't have one.' Todd replied. 'Just as long as she doesn't find out.'

'Sorry, no can do buddy.' Lance shrugged. 'I'm keeping my word.'

'Great time to get a conscience.' Todd muttered.

* * *

**Later-**

Todd and Lance were joined in the living room by Pietro, Fred and Kurt. Pete had been invited to come along but he politely turned down the offer.

Pietro popped a DVD into the player and sat back to watch.

'What's the first choice of movie, yo?' Todd asked.

'The Bird cage.' Pietro replied proudly.

'Geez, for a guy viz a girlfriend, you sure have a gay choice in movies.' Kurt snorted.

'Alright then, I'll change it.' Pietro sighed as he switched the disc. 'How about Showgirls?'

'That's more like it, yo.' Todd grinned as he downed his beer. 'We might not be able to get a real stripper but there's no stoppin' us watchin' naked chicks on the TV!'

* * *

**Meanwhile-**

The girls arrived in downtown Bayville via taxi. Wanda got out and paid the driver.

'Where to first, girls?' Felicia asked, rubbing her hands eagerly. 'Naked guys or naked guys?'

'You really have a one track mind, you know that?' Crystal chuckled.

'Drinks first, I should think.' Wanda replied. 'Then naked guys.'

'Ooh, this place looks good.' Typhoid said as she stopped outside a random bar.

'Umm Typhoid, that's a Hooters.' Felicia said.

'Right, I knew that...' Typhoid replied, her eyes darting about nervously. 'Let's go get some drinks, okay?'

'She seriously worries me some times.' Wanda said as she shook her head and followed the slightly insane redhead towards a nearby bar.

'How are we going to get in?' Crystal asked. 'None of us are twenty-one.'

'Why do you think God invented fake ideas?' Felicia smirked as she handed out some laminated cards.

* * *

**Back with the guys-**

The guys had finished watching Showgirls and were trying to decide what movie to watch next.

'Wild Things!' Todd yelled.

'No vay!' Kurt replied. 'Road Trip!'

'We could always watch Pietro's Playboy DVDs.' Fred added.

'Good choice.' Todd said.

'Ja, zat's vay better.' Kurt added.

'We just need to decide which one.' Lance sighed.

'Cheerleaders!' Todd yelled.

'Nu-uh, Freshman Class!' Kurt replied.

And so it went on for the rest of the night...

* * *

**Downtown-**

The beer was flowing freely with the girls. Well, if by 'beer' you meant 'Tequila shots' then yes, that was flowing too. Wanda was the only one drinking, for obvious reasons.

'Oh God, I think I'm drunk.' Felicia said as she laid her head on Crystal's shoulder.

'If you think you're drunk, you should see Typhoid.' Wanda replied as she took a sip of her water. 'She's trying to hit on that cigarette machine.'

'When's the stripper coming anyway?' Felicia asked. 'I wanna see naked guys, dammit!'

'Patience Felicia.' Wanda replied. 'You'll get to see your naked guys soon enough.'

'Very soon.' Crystal added as a spotlight illuminated Felicia.

'W-what the hell's going on?'

'I hear somebody has the misfortune to be getting married soon.' A voice said through the speakers. 'Will the lucky, or not-so lucky, lady please stand up?'

Felicia shot up like a shot and waved her hands about wildly.

'It's me! I'm getting married! Bring on the naked guys! Woo-hoo!'

'Remind me not to have her as my made of honour when it comes to my wedding.' Wanda sighed.

Another spotlight hit the stage and several guys dressed as fire fighters walked out form behind the curtains.

'Omigod, Wanda!' Felicia gasped as her hand clasped over her mouth in excitement. 'How did you know I liked fire fighters?'

'Who doesn't?' Wanda replied with a smirk.

* * *

**The boarding house-**

The guys had grown tired of watching naked women and decided to watch something different.

'Dory, watch out!' Todd yelled.

'She'll be alright.' Pietro replied, a little tired of events. 'It's a damn Disney film. Of course she'll be alright!'

'B-but, the jellyfish...' Todd whimpered.

'Mein Gott, how lame are we?' Kurt groaned. 'Todd, zis is your bachelor party, ve should be going out and painting ze town red.'

'Lance didn't want to piss of Felicia.' Fred replied.

'Fair enough.' Kurt shrugged. 'Let's get back to ze movie.'

With all conversation gone, the guys returned their attention back to the TV and the cute little blue fish with shirt term memory loss.

* * *

**Downtown-**

Wanda and Crystal were watching aghast at the sight before them. Felicia and Typhoid had kicked the stripping fire fighters off the stage and were having a water fight with their fire hoses.

'That's it, I'm not going to have a bachelorette party, I'm gonna stay home and watch porn.'

'I think I might join you.' Crystal replied. 'Leave the guys to the strippers.

There was a crash and the sound of retching.

'There's no way that I'm touching that.' Wanda winced. 'Felicia can clean that up herself.'

'Is that even possible with a fire hose?' Crystal winced as she saw Typhoid put the hose where fire hoses aren't supposed to go.

'I really don't want to know.' Wanda replied with a sad shake of her head. 'C'mon, let's go home. We can leave the bride-to-be for the cops to being home.'

END...

* * *

_Next: The Wedding._

_It's finally time for Todd and Felicia's wedding. Who should turn up to spoil the fun? You shall have to wait and see till next time, won't you?_


End file.
